catching up

chicago part 4 and the standalone, highly anticipated alinea review will have to wait, i've got some weekend catching up to do.

first here are some pics of the niece and nephew being very cute:


saturday, i was pretty busy futzing around. i made a loaf of semolina sandwich bread, using regular yeast, not sourdough. i was inspired by the spectacular rise and mie of the specimen found here. mine wasn't nearly so impressive, although it was wonderful feeling the dough transform from a coarse, ropey mass to the smooth, elastic ball that yielded this after the second rise:

semolina flour is much coarser than regular flour...you can feel each grain, like fine sand. i was skeptical that it would come together and form a smooth dough, but did it ever! i'm not sure why i didn't get the same airy height as the one in the recipe linked above...maybe i should have let it rise longer before baking? this is the finished product:

i don't have a picture of the mie, but it was just slightly tighter than the one from the fresh loaf. the bread is a very utilitarian affair - because of the saffron colour of the interior, you're almost expecting a sweet, challah-like egg bread, but it's much more savoury. not much taste in and of itself, i can see why it's touted as a sandwich loaf - it's very sturdy and would let the sandwich fillings shine.

saturday night we had the dotytron's mater and pater and sister over for dinner. i did a ham, glazed with ginger-pear jam:

isn't she a beaut?

i served her with champ (mashed yukon gold potatoes with scallions that i've slowly poached in butter and cream) and roasted asparagus. the theme of the meal was "spring awakening" aka make-up easter because we were in chicago and didn't get to do easter dinnie with the dotytron clan.


for dessert i made pavlovas, except maybe they weren't pavlovas because i didn't make them chewy/marshmallowy on the inside - basically cooked the meringues straight through so that they were pretty crispy. then i put in lemon curd, a blackberry compote, and topped it with whipped cream.

even though i went to the trouble of straightening my hair and everyt'ing, by the time the familia dotytron had left, it was too late to go and party with my dodgeball peeps when i only wanted to stay an hour or so (a general yardstick i use is that it shouldn't take twice as long to get to and from the place as you're planning on staying at the event in question.) so i got some face time with the dotytron which was for the best, because the next morning i had 10am brunch plans with my friends L and N - i biked 10 km to get to liberty village (newsflash: just because you call it "liberty village" doesn't make it cozy or nice!) to eat at school bakery and café.

the school theme is a little obnoxious. there are ubiquitous chalkboards, institutional clocks all set to the wrong time, your bill arrives in the form of a "report card" and there are apples on every table. it's too much. the kicker is the fact that the female waitstaff wear school girl uniforms consisting of tight black t-shirts and pleated black microminis. i'm sorry, but i'm not into seeing my server's business first thing in the morning when i'm thinking about how i want my eggs done. this isn't hooters!

i ordered the chipotle breakfast sandwich, which was ham, egg, and cheddar in a cheddar biscuit, served with sweet potato and regular potato homefries which were soggy and were particularly galling after our brief sojourn in the u.s. of a, where i got a graduate education in proper homefries. the biscuit was nice and tender...but all in all, it was ham and egg in a freakin' biscuit. i think i'm kind of over going out for brunch - there just aren't enough places in toronto that can do it better than me. i mean, if i was the kind of person inclined to make cereal for sunday breakkie, so my choices were cereal or eggs benny, then fine. but i go all out for sunday breakkie, so paying for stuff that's of equal or lesser value (much less LINING UP FOR IT if i have the temerity to go out for food past 10:30am on a sunday morning) fails the cost benefit analysis.

after going to school, i met up with dr. rei and chatted it up at their place with the hanbo and dropped off some of my precious tres leches cargo. then i played dodgeball and then came home. it was jam-packed!

for dinner last night we ordered from city fried chicken up the street. the chicken was straight out of the fryer...it's just simply dredged in some kind of seasoned flour, so it actually tastes lighter than popeye's full-battered goodness. it was quite nice and very affordable and convenient for being up the street - a nice alternative when we don't want to wait 45 minutes for popeye's delivery. we wanted a salad alongside so we ordered something from magic oven. NEVER AGAIN! i called and asked how big the large salad (priced at SEVENTEEN dollars) was. it was supposed to feature "mixed greens, mixed grilled vegetables, goat's cheese, balsamic vinaigrette." i was assured that it would easily feed 3-4 people. the thing came in one of those cardboard takeout containers that are the size of a like, a regular spiral bound notebook - 6"x8" and it was DISGUSTING. the grilled vegetables were slimey and tasted like they had been cooked aeons ago, and the otherwise we were paying for chopped up romaine and a sprinkling of goat's cheese. I HATE MAGIC OVEN. i know they've roused my ire before but this is IT. they are henceforth dead to me.

for our sunday night dessert i layered up the elements from the pavlova the night before in a glass - i think i actually like it better this way...something about the way the flavours meld makes it tastier

tonight for dinner i made eggplant bharta and green beans thoren and steamed some brown rice. i bought saag and some naan from makkah up the street:



fin.

chicago part 3

but first, my day with the chilluns yesterday was so fun and very untaxing and stress-free. they actually went down for a TWO HOUR nap! i had to rouse them because they were sleeping so long, which is a bit of a feat because little miss is notorious for resisting napping. the key is to really tire them out beforehand. first i gave them both haircuts and then i packed us up some healthy lunches and snacks (peanut butter sandwiches cut into start shapes, a banana, an apple, water) and we took the subway and then the bus to riverdale farm. we were originally going to go to the science centre and friend H and baby D were going to accompany us, but they've been felled by a little cold and the science centre seemed a little buckshot on my own.

so little miss was terrified by the animals and the little sir was completely enthralled and they ate their healthy snacks and we shared some cookies baked by the farm and then on our way home we stopped at the park and they played for another hour and then we walked home. on the way there, i had let little miss hold the ttc child's tickets and on the way back, i gave them to the little sir. he was SUPER STRESSED about it. i put them in his pocked and then i noticed his little wee hand poked into his pocket, feeling for the tickets and he was kind of tense. he stayed that way until he gave them to the ttc bus driver! lol! so cute!

then i put them in the roomie's bed and made the room really dark and blocked them in and removed distractions and they conked out. s-dawg came over, we ate dinner and shared some cupcakes and then watched treehouse until my mum came to pick them up. it was super fun and very easy going - the older they get the easier they are to handle.

s-dawg also insisted on making me watch this video that he had posted on my facebook wall and i had ignored (i'm the worst for clicking links to stuff sent by other people). people, i eat my recalcitrant link-clicking ways. this is the second coming of christian the lion AND it features my favorite les miz song and it's so perfect that of COURSE i was tearing up:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY

i can't embed it, you'll have to click through. AMAZING. so so so good. this is totally the kind of human interest story that people need in this time of recession and totally kicks the pants of like, sanjaya and clay aiken or whatever crap north american barfs up. BEST! BEST EVER! 25 MILLION views! another blow struck on the sincerity come back trail.

okay, chicago times.

i forgot to mention that on day 2, while lugging our 10lb tres leches cake around (they're heavy because of all the milk they're soaked in), with the dotytron in an increasingly heightened state of anxiety over the structural integrity of the tres leches, we walked through a bit of pilsen (initially in an attempt to find MORE tres leches!) and hit al's no. 1 italian beef sandwiches - which are supposed to be chicago's answer to the philly cheeseteak, even though the two couldn't be more dissimilar. the chicago beef sandwich has more in common with a florentine bollito sandwich. the meat is clearly sliced paper-thin, then braised to a dissolving tenderness and then piled into a very soft, tissue-textured bun (that you can request "dipped" or not dipped - judging by the pictorial evidence above, we clearly picked "dipped".) we requested hot peppers, to the beef was liberally sprinkled with chili flakes and what looked like bits and pieces from the braising liquid - celery, onions and the like, that were just barely holding their form. it's a messy, undignified affair to eat, but an utterly transporting experience on the palate, the french dip you always wanted but never had.

the major factor that made us abort the secondary tres leches pit stop and go for beef sandwiches instead is that we ended up in a bit of a rough neighbourhood - which is fine, no biggie, ordinarily. and it wasn't even THAT rough...just a little coarse. however, we passed a demo'd lot between two buildings that rank of feces - human. and there was a car on blocks covered with a tarp and the only conclusion that you could come to was that someone was using that as their domicile and lavatory and it kind of made us decide that we should cherish our one tres leches cake and just have a snack somewhere else instead (the dotytron's leg was also hurting - remember the explanatory note that began the chicago chronicles.)

then we went back to the hotel, rested, hit publican and then hit this jazz club, the green mill, which had been owned by al capone way back in the day and was way up north in the suburbs of chicago. chicago is mostly known as a blues town, a jazz town, and a town of libertarian, neo-classical economics. we obviously had to hit a jazz bar at one point. the green mill was kind of awesome, especially for someone who isn't naturally inclined to love jazz and has been gradually brought over by osmosis. it was LIVE in there. we showed up at minute because they have a band that places from midnight until FIVE AM for a $5 cover. amazing! the dotytron chose wisely because the band had a hammond b-3 player - one of the factors that will make me more inclined to like whatever jazz happens to be on is the presence of hammond, wurlitzers and rhodes - i'm more of a rhythm section fan at the best of times and generally tune out the saxophones and trumpets.

another factor that makes me like live jazz is if the show is LIVE. i'm used to ENERGY at shows - the dotytron's constant criticism is that i want things to be too boombastic when we go out and hear live music. jazz shows in toronto featuring the most boringly middle-class, aged, restrained, and fogey audiences i've ever seen everywhere. it's VERY off-putting. people don't talk, but sit in silent reverence and then unleash a scattered pitter-patter of polite clapping. it's egregious. this music was supposed to be COOKING! the thing about the green mill was that it was like a rowdy, raucous bar with people listening to tunes. the late night band was more of a be-bop thing (i think) and there was a great energy in the room. the same thing in new york. when we caught this jazz legend, ron carter, at the museum of natural history. it was still a museum audience, but A - there was WAY more ethnic diversity in the crowd, and B) even though it was still museum town, the audience was still more lively and engaged (purely subjective, but my powers of perception are unparalleled.)

and so ended day 2, with a sleepy cab ride back to our hotel, which apparently turns into a nightclub at some point, completely with skanky chick hostesses tottering on stilettoes in the lobby.

day 3 will have to be a separate post and the rundown on alinea will get it's own self contained review.

today i was supposed to go to the inaugural meeting of my knitting club, which consists of friend H, baby D (by proxy), friend M, and H's other friend M, a dude who's interested in sock knitting, but H and baby D, as previously mentioned, are sick so that go kiboshed. it's supposed to be a bit rainy, too. we're having the dotytron's parents and his sister over for dinner tonight so i'm going to do some prep for that, do some knitting, and my exercises and do the grocery shopping. i have a billion photos i should be putting in albums but i ordered the albums to my sister's house so i'll probably just organize my recipes and do some general, mild tidying and dinner preparing.

there's a party at my dodgeball peeps' house tonight - a little mixer to celebrate the upcoming season - i might stop by for a bit after dinner with the parental units and be sociable.

fin.

another interruption

to the chicago recap...for a brief installment of

roll call of awesome:

this is roll call of awesome: home edition because i'm in some kind of weird nesting/home improvement/decorating/spring cleaning phase - probably inspired by the fact that the roomie found an apartment and will be out of here in june.

vintage cake plates with domed lids! (i'm bidding on one on ebay)

vintage bread boxes for storing the homemade bread i'm going to be more diligent about making! isn't it lovely?

i'm also bidding on vintage tea towels so that i can make bread bags, which was the preferred method of storing bread (back in ye olden days) and which is infinitely more aesthetically appealing than my current ziploc bag method.

this is a bread bag:
see? isn't it just so dear and little house on the prairie-ish?

industrial storage cabinet. i came across this on my travels and nearly knocked over everything on my desk in my haste to call the company to see if i could buy it. alas, it was already sold! drat drat drat! it's so prison-chic! i effin' love this piece and could picture it filled with jams and jellies and my other knick knacks. blast!!! ah well, in the world of craigslist furniture finds - there's always something else waiting around the corner.

the woodland organic sheets from pottery barn:

perfect for summer.

and finally, a tauntaun sleeping bag:

sooooooooo awesome.


tonight we had leftovers. last night we had vegan shepherd's pie, leftover from the last time i made vegan shepherd's pie and had enough extra to freeze a casserole dish of the stuff.

on monday night we had spinach, roasted pepper, tomato-basil sauce, roasted garlic, and mozzarella calzones - brushed with chili oil when they came out of the oven (i didn't make the crust) and sprinkled with sea salt with more tomato basil sauce for dipping.

tomorrow is my day off. i'm doing my running and errands in the morning and then my mum is dropping off my niece and nephew and i'm going to take them to riverdale farm and the park and then cut their hair. then s-dawg is coming over and we're eating kraft dinner and hot dogs and popcorn and i'm going to make banana split sundaes with tonnes of sprinkles and candy (hey, i'm allowed to be spoiler-aunt 3000.)

fun!

fin.

publican review

i've been lusting after eating at a paul kahan joint for who knows how long (actually, i can trace it back 3 or 4 years, when a feature on paul kahan appeared in bon appétit.) he finally opened up his gastropub, publican, mere weeks before our trip. so i made our resos on open table after salivating over the photos and the sample, pre-opening menu posted on the website.

the space is in a nondescript, industrial part of town. the room is one giant rectangle, with a phalanx of globe fixtures occupying 2/3 of the ceiling space. there are some deuces set up along the window and the long side of the room is occupied by 4 top booths, finished with old english style, high, stable-like doors enclosing them. most of the floor space is taken up with a long, continuous, rectangular communal table, with some high, bar tables set up in the negative space in the middle. everything is worn wood and tallow yellows, reminiscent of a stable or a road side drinking house and inn. the only wall decorations are 4 large paintings of fat pigs in all their porcine glory.

the music is distracting - a hodgepodge of random indie hits; and the design of the room is such that there's a near constant cacophony of conversation - there are no soft surfaces to absorb the sound. we were sat a table for two, with high, stiff chairs under which was a shelf where we could rest our menues in between courses.

our server looked like caravaggio (as seen in simon schama's 'the power of art') and instantly drew the dotytron's ire by suggesting the TWO most expensive beers on the extensive beer list as his personal "recommendations." an $18 bottle of some lambic or trappist beer. now, the dotytron is no beer slouch. he may know next to nothing about wine but he's got a fairly adventurous and sensitive beer palate. we've also been to belgium, so he has a fair idea of what those trappist ales cost and he doesn't like the aggressive hard sell. he kind of snapped at the waiter - and by snapped i mean, he interrupted him in the middle of his spiel to say that he had just gotten back from the washroom and needed a minute to decide - which made caravaggio back down to the point where he ignored us for the rest of the evening and we had to resort to jazz hands and arms to flag him down for the bill.

we decided to skip the oyster selections (i can pay $3 CDN [not american!] for a kumomoto at oyster boy, thanks!) and ordered dishes as we felt like eating them.

we started with the hamachi crudo with raw almonds and chilies. this was fantastic. i love me a good crudo...you don't see many of them in toronto. thickish slices of buttery, light hamachi, strewn with green almonds (the hard, herbaceous, green fuzz part was taken off), thai chili julienne, and some light acidity from a judicious touch of lemon. it was very spring-like - buttery and green with a hot, fleeting stab of chili.

next up we had la quercia rossa ham from iowa, served with bread and butter. the ham was very mild, sweet, and velvety, lacking the saline kick of proscuitto. it was delicious, but i was put off by the fact that the restaurant "cheated" and heated the plate that the ham was on, until it was noticeably warm to the touch. i'd rather the ham be at room temperature, than have the unctuousness of the fat artificially boosted by heating the plate.

the next two dishes were my favorites.

duck heart salad. chewy, sautéed duck hearts with mushrooms, and wilted spinach, judiciously dressed with a vinaigrette that was just sharp enough to cut through the dense, woody, warm flavours of the dish. served with a perfectly cooked duck egg on brawny white bread that had been expertly charred to a crisp-chew. this was delicious through and through and definitely something i'm going to attempt to replicate (probably with chicken hearts though.)

lake eerie smelt with artichokes, parm, and tartar sauce. i was fully prepared to be biting through some wee little smelt heads, but the kitchen took care of that for me. the smelts had been gutted and beheaded and dipped in an airy poof of batter to make the lightest, crunchiest, salt-kissed bar snack you've ever tasted. the artichokes were similarly done, but my favorite element of all was the deep fried lemon slices. so good! wafer thin, battered and fried lemon slices that i could have knocked back like oh so many concave pringles. completely addictive and something else that i'm going to be trying at home. the whole crunchy mess of frito misto was piled on a smear of tartar sauce, with shaved parm and a tangle of garnish greens on top. top notch. the kind of dish you want to go back for.

next up was the house-made pork rinds. these were okay. they were coated in a cheese-pepper mixture (similar to the cheese coating on the cheese-flavoured garrett popcorn), but they weren't coated enough. they were okay. like vaguely pork flavoured shrimp chips. they lacked the sweet/savoury characteristics of lard and were a little ho hum...kind of unmemorable.

we followed up the rinds with a giant chunk of seared-in-brown-butter sweetbreads, with a glorious, rich brown crust on the outside giving way to custardy offal goodness inside. it sat atop a spring tangle of ramps and green chickpeas. i've never had a hunk of sweetbread so huge before and lemme tells ya - i could get used to it. this dish was delicious. rib-sticking grub that doesn't make you feel like hell after.

dessert was a bit of a misstep. a teensy tiny portion of 'milk chocolate cremeux' with prunes and lavender shortbread. this was $7. the other desserts (a pear crisp with molasses ice cream that came in a solid 1 c. ramekin, a waffle with rhubarb compote that easily filled a 10" plate) were more substantial. this was tiny! the prunes and the lavender shortbread had no relationship with each other or the cremeux. it was a bit of a miss...i would have rather ordered another option from the main courses, had i but known.

all this, with 2 expensive beers for the dotytron, came to the pauperly sum of $107 USD, including taxes, not including tip. what a deal!

i would definitely go back again - if i lived in chicago this would be my go-to for a neighbourhood/small plates vibe - what jamie kennedy wine bar aspires to be. gently priced for the generous serving sizes, great, comforting, well executed food - it's everything you want a gastropub to be. now i can't wait to try blackbird and avec, next!

fin.

quickie non-chicago related interlude

ANTHROPOLOGIE IS COMING TO TORONTO!

yesssssssssssssssssss! (mimicking the dotytron's reaction to the REACTABLE) i LOVE LOVE LOVE anthropologie! i've completely given up on everything but undies at urban outfitters. for the most part it's too lindsay lohan/nylon magazine-y and young tart for me. plus the quality of most of the stuff is crap. occasionally you find something cool on the sale rack, but otherwise it's too "wearing glasses frames without the lenses" for me. i can't do that. it's not me. free people (the other line in the same family) is a little too boho for me. too portland not enough so-cal.

anthropologie is JUST right for where i'm at now (aka gearing up for summer, when i want to look my most nicole richie-est) - i love most of the stuff there. some of it gets a little too retro-y, 50s throwback and some of it gets a little too crafty/piece-y/applicquéd in the free people vein, but most of it is perfect. that oh-so-lagerfeld mix of tailored, boho, and sunny california hippie, that i love love love.

problem is, stuff gets mad 'spensive. it's kind of a grown up lady version of urban and is priced accordingly. that's why i'm only going to ever hit the sales rack. sometimes you get mad deals! in chicago i literally had 23 items to try on from the sales rack. it was so plentiful! i got an anna sui smock-eyelet top, regularly priced at $158, for $29.99!!! (USD, but still!) what a scoop! they carry a lot of lines that i like, like anna sui and ella moss.

they also have cute housewares too! some shabby chic type drawer pulls and gorgeous latte bowls that would make fantastic sunny little accent pieces in any kitchen.

plus, the store is going to be on the east side of town! in a new mall called the "shops at don mills" which is at don mills and york mills which is pon the east side flex.

in other non-chicago related news...it's the end of an era. the roomie has started looking for apartments for her and l'army. she's probably moving out in june or july. yikes. we don't know whether to replace her or not. a new roomie would have to be extremely compliant, have enough stuff for their room and only their room, be okay with submitting to the meal plan and not filling my fridge with random non-meal plan oriented foods, and not have people over all the time (ie. either be content hanging out with me and the dotytron or go outside to hang with their friends.) also must be okay with cleaning the bathroom and never be weird about money. see? it's a tough call. the roomie was perfect. le sigh. i guess i can go back to the heteronormative couple-centric living that the dotytron and i experienced before...it's just nice having a friend around all the time, especially because i get scared being home alone. hopefully she'll find a place nearby. there was a PERFECT place (ie. we could see each other from the front porch) but i think the rental market is crazy right now and it was only on craigslist for 2 seconds.

anyway, if any of you know someone who fits the description above, let me know!

fin.

day 2

where did i leave off? ah yes, we had fallen asleep at the embarrassingly uncool and unyouthful time of 9pm to the sweet slumber that can only be procured from the sound knowledge that you do not have to launder anything in your immediate vicinity. we woke up and trekked out butts down to sweet maple cafe for breakfast. sweet maple cafe already had a lineup at 9am on a saturday morning. it's not the biggest place and it's far off the beaten track (close the university of illinois, chicago campus) but hoo boy do they know how to do a rib-stickin' breakfast.

we ordered something savoury and something sweet and went splitsies.

two eggs over easy; biscuit; sausage patty; grits; side of ham. i ordered the blueberry pancakes which were GINORMOUS. look at them! (the blueberries were underneath)

thus fortified, we set off on our day, the centrepiece of which was hitting the museum of science and industry. we were kind of freaking out because yesterday's s**tshow at the planetarium (with every child and every frazzled parent in the northern hemisphere converging at the same time) made us wary of hitting such a kid-friendly place. we got there fairly early though and it was AWESOME. the best museum i've ever been to. it's HUGE! it's housed in one of the only surviving buildings from the world's fair in 1893. they have so much stuff!
it's so much fun! it's so conducive to taking funny pictures (our forte!)

i can't imagine being a kid and going to this museum because my head would probably explode. they have mini EVERYTHING! crazy animatronics and plastic people and miniature scenes and train sets that allow you to take pictures that seem like real life. to wit:

the first exhibit we hit was a circus-themed one. it was kind of weak, but saved itself by having little miniature scenes and a circus caravan going on a little wee track.

one of the major highlights of the museum is that they have a u-boat, captured during the second world war and they built a WHOLE WING to house the thing (it's monstrous.) the build up to actually seeing the u-boat is awesome. there's like a fake command room with projected people in costume radioing back and forth and then they have the u-boat just sitting there in the room with torpedos strewn about and other memorabilia and fun games/interactive things to do like decoding encrypted messages. super fun!

this is the dotytron in a u-boat berth:

see? the props are super-high-quality.

they also had one of those little setups rigged up where you can get your picture taken in front of the u-boat and then they sell it to you when you come out of the exhibit, all u-boat drunk, with a commemorative frame, key chain, and 2 key chain-sized shots for the very unreasonable sum of $20. this is ours:

the dude taking the picture was majorly appreciative of our pose. the dude in charge of selling the pictures said it was the best one he'd seen since he started working there. we ended up having them hold it for us until we were ready to leave. when we went to pick it up, another guy was working and when we asked for our picture, he said, "oh yeah! guys, that's the best one i've seen all day!" lol! basically, our rampant immaturity and obnoxiousness won over all the museum staff. another cute thing about the museum staff is that they're all SUPER into their jobs. they seem to hire only retired veterans and nerdily sincere high school kids and it's a winning strategy because the staff are amazingly friendly, informative, and engaged.

one of the reasons that this museum is rolling in top-notch, high-grade exhibits is because of the strong public-private partnerships. this can lead to interestingly staged exhibits that are thinly veiled indoctrination pieces from various stakeholders. take the "farm tech" room, whose sole purpose was to impress upon young minds the importance of industrial agriculture.

there were videos set to booming, loud, pop music of cows with horrifically distended udders placidly receiving their sweet succor at the hands of hispanic itinerant farm workers. we played a timed milking game where you had to start a timer, "spray" down a fake cows udders with a pressurized air spray and then attach 4 milking suction things. i won by 1 second. it was awesome. we were obnoxious but i think again, our unbridled, childlike enthusiasm really won over our fellow museum goers.

okay. this shot above came about as a result of me being me (read: a jerk). it resulted in one of the more infamous moments of my insanity during the trip and, on a greater scale, my life. they had these shiny john deere tractors set up and as soon as i saw them, i said, "i have to get a picture in one of those!" so i stood in line behind a couple of kids to wait my turn (reminder: the museum of science and industry is mainly targeted at children.) out of the corner of my eye, i see a 7 year old kid and his maybe 2 years older sibling come running into the room. the kid's eyes grow huge at the sight of the tractor and he beckons to his dad, "dad! check this out!" - he's so excited he's practically jumping out of his own skin and he proceeds to stand in front of me, probably assuming that i'm waiting for my own kid to come off the tractor.

so what do i do? without missing a beat, i tap the kid on the shoulder, three times. not unforcefully. tap. tap. tap. "excuse me," i say, in the same tone of voice i would use for say, an adult who cut in front of me in line, "i was actually next." no sooner had the words left my lips then i realized that i had just TOLD OFF A SEVEN YEAR OLD CHILD FOR CUTTING IN FRONT OF ME IN LINE TO SIT IN A TRACTOR. i looked over at the dotytron and he was staring at me, slack-jawed, aghast. ahahahahahahahaha!!!!!! maternal instinct success rate is running at about negative 50% right now. lol!!! who DOES that?!? what's wrong with me?!???? ahahahahaha.

then we headed into future zone. future zone was kind of weird. it featured a hallway with pictures of various "visionaries" and "inventors" and models of some of their creations. it wasn't terribly impressive. to give you an idea, this LED dress was one of the "futuristic" things on display, in addition to this stupid robot who was SUPPOSED to answer a limited array of questions (sample question: "do you have any friends?") but then just ended up staring vacantly at you and doing a herky jerky piss poor version of the robot (maybe that's why he doesn't have any friends.)

then midway during a conversation, the dotytron looks over, and says, "THEY HAVE ONE OF THOSE?!?! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS." and goes tearing off in the direction of this little bad boy:

it's a REACTABLE, which is basically a touch synthesizer, aka the dotytron's robot bride. we played with it for about 30 minutes. it was kind of annoying because these n00bs would keep coming into the room and messing with our song, so we'd have to wait until people left to clear the table and start all over again, but then more people would come (how dare they?) you basically move the various cubes around on the table and they interact with the table itself and each other and you can modulate the sounds (pitch, etc) by twisting and turning the blocks. it's pretty flippin' cool and basically made the dotytron's life.

this is a thing where you stuck your face into a little depression and it projected your face on this statue of a person juggling balls (tenuously related to both science AND industry, but cool nonetheless)

we basically blew through the museum in like, 3 hours and hit every floor. then we went to see frank lloyd wright's robie house. in our hubris (in collusion with the dotytron's hatred of tours), we didn't pre-buy tickets to the tour which allowed you access to the interior. in what would come to be a maddening trend for the remainder of the trip, we could never get within a 5 foot radius of frank lloyd wright. he wanted absolutely nothing to do with us. so we could only get shots of the exterior. i contemplated pulling a chinese "i'll give you cash under the table if you just let us in" but the dotytron nixed that idea.


then we literally walked for like, 2 miles (remember: the dotytron's bum leg) to get a tres leches cake that i had ordered that morning when the previous day's tres leches cake mission had been a bust. i called this place, kristoffer's cafe during breakfast at sweet maple cafe to see if they might have any tres leches cake left in the afternoon. at the time that i called (10 in the morning) they were already out of the vanilla. in a panic, i ordered a 9" caramel, not really realizing that i was somehow buying an ENTIRE TRES LECHES CAKE. rick bayless says that the tres leches at kristoffers cafe and bakery is the best and i trust rick bayless.

so we schlepped our butts all the way out there to get the cake. then i had to figure out what the frig i was going to do with a 9" cake that weighed about 10 lbs from being soaked in the three milks. en route, we also passed by some sketchiness, involving a pretty downtrodden neighbourhood and a demolished parking lot area that smelled like human feces because we suspect someone was living in the tarp-covered car parked there and had probably jerry-rigged themselves an impromptu latrine. it was kind of gross and unsettling.

this is how you know you're traveling lagerfeld styleee. i will make you walk 3 miles out of your way for tres leches cake, past some very sketchy neighbourhoods/living areas. i will make a harebrained, panicky decision to buy an ENTIRE tres leches cake. i will then embark on a mission of every cvs and walgreen's in the downtown core in a vain attempt to find tupperwares, only to find that you can buy a SLOW COOKER at walgreen's but will receive blank stares when you ask for tupperware (incidentally, sales people in the states are about a BILLION times nicer than sales people in canada, don't ask me why.) i will then somehow sweet talk the proprietor of some random restaurant to give me 8 takeout containers (for free! i offered to pay but he refused) and then i will then somehow sweet talk room service into looking for a pie lifter for me. room service will not be able to procure a pie lifter but will give me two knives. you will watch incredulously as i divide the tres leches cake into fifths, pack each fifth into an ill-begotten takeout container, and somehow macguyver the bar fridge into accepting all my tres leches cake portions.

it's crazy.

more to come tomorrow! reviews of the publican and al's no. 1 beef and day 3!

fin.

2 ding dongs in the white city

a tale probably to be told in many, many parts (i don't want to have to nail myself down to a number.)

the dotytron and i woke up obscenely early on good friday and were picked up by east end taxi (aka the dotytron's da') and taken to the airport. my new thing is to NEVER CHECK BAGGAGE. for a few reasons: a) it's annoying waiting for bags that might be lost; b) most airlines are now CHARGING YOU to check bags (lame!) c) it's a desperate bid to help us (read: me) pack light and curb my tendency to pack 10 different outfits and 4 pairs of shoes for a weekend away.

poor dotytron suffered the brunt of this new thing of mine. i packed for him and did a pretty good job. i checked the weather forecasted (that's an oxymoron and an egregious insult to tense and the english language, i know) for the weekend and things seemed pretty decent. the night before, we had the following exchange:

dotytron: i'm going to take my heavy fall jacket, it's been FREEZING here lately!
me: no! just take your fleece and the hot guy jacket (that's what we call this spring jacket of his - it really is a hot guy jacket)
dotytron: but don't you think it's going to be cold?
me: no! i checked the weather, high of 10°C and low of 2°C
dotytron: but that's cold!
me (getting increasingly shrill): look! it's going to be fine! 10°C isn't THAT COLD! it's just going to be bulky and heavy and you're going to have to carry it around all the time!!!
dotytron: but they call it the 'windy city'!!!
me: IT'S A MISNOMER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dear reader: it is very much not a misnomer. as you hear recounted for you the chronicles of our time abroad and as you gaze upon the pictorial evidence, please keep in mind that at almost EVERY SINGLE MOMENT the dotytron is freezing his poor little butt off. it's SUPER WINDY! lake michigan is insane! it was really, really cold. there's like non-stop white caps on lake michigan and when we were at the planetarium, we almost got blown off our feet. the dotytron's nose was constantly running.

so i obviously felt really bad for being such a monster and in remorse, i struck a deal that will test the limits of my patience and ocd tendencies on a future trip. the next time we go away, the dotytron is allowed to pack whatever he wants.

another thing to remember is that the dotytron's left leg got pwned this weekend. remember last sunday, when we went for a run to get groceries and go for brunch on that epic day filled with hilariousness? well, what i didn't tell you, was that on that run, the dotytron was making fun of me for being a little huffy and puffy and wheezy, while he was apparently "fine." "awww lagerfeld," he said, looking at my gasping short-legged frame trying valiantly to keep stride with his lankiness, "look at how out of shape you are!" he ALSO gave me grief for being really reluctant to run on concrete and for insisting that asphalt is softer and better on the legs. fast forward to this past week.

lagerfeld: feeling completely fine, able to play dodgeball on both sunday and monday with minimal stiffness and after effects

dotytron: nagging pain in achilles tendon

this nagging pain in his achilles tendon ended up manifesting itself in giving him a limp and waves of being able to walk fine and other times of being in extreme pain. he also got pain at the back of his knee from all the walking we did this weekend (point of interest: chicago is NOT a pedestrian friendly city, outside of the immediate core area known as 'the loop'). he also got a blister on his foot. so keep in mind, that throughout most of the following adventures, the dotytron's left leg is running at a success rate of 0% (with an additional minus 25% for making him cranky)

ANYWAY, we hopped on the subway at o'hare (known as the "el" because a lot of the trains are actually elevated in chi-town) and got to our hotel. ummmm...our hotel was AMAZING! it was all super-designery faux boutiquey. here are some shots:


pretty swank, eh? that's a king sized bed mofos! those are leather pillows on the bed! and a fake snakeskin arm chair! and a tromp l'oeil chandelier on the wall! lol! all this (location was fab too, smack dab in tourista ville, attached to the house of blues and steps from the magnificent mile [which we didn't check out because we don't usually prioritize shopping on our travels]) for the princely sum of $109 USD a night (it usually goes for $350+) thanks to some insane promo code. samantha ronson was djing in the hotel's bar in a few weeks and the hotel had a BOWLING ALLEY/club INSIDE IT that had hosted the likes of p-diddy and nsync! amazing!

it was the kind of place where even though check in time was technically 3pm, they let us check into our room at 10 in the morning. amazing! then we went and got ourselves some breakfast. we went to a place called wishbone and indulged in all our american breakfast fantasies.



i had eggs over easy (another point: american short order breakfast cooks KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING. eggs over easy are over easy, like where the whites are still kind of runny. over easy in canada is mostly over medium, which is what i really want, generally), with sausage patties (WHY CAN'T WE GET SAUSAGE PATTIES IN CANADA?!??), homefries, a corn muffin, and a SMALL (yes, that's a small) side of biscuits with sausage gravy. the homefries were amazing. every bite tasted like oniony, griddly, crusty goodness. they really understand the importance of a good crust on the homefries, too. the biscuits and gravy were delicious. basically a sausage-studded, milky, bechamel sludge slumped over a split biscuit. the dotytron had some kind of scramble, with cheesy grits, and bacon and a corn muffin. the cheesy grits were so so soooooooooooo good! salty, savoury, creamy (the grits are white, the kind i make at home are yellow), bowl-lickingly good.

then we stumbled around trying to get our bearings with the transit system before hitting the adler planetarium. the planetarium shares space on what's known as "museum campus" along with the field museum (kind of like your standard, rom-type museum with dinosaurs and artifacts and stuff), and the shedd aquarium. the planetarium was obviously the less cool of them all (judging by the fact that the bus that loops around museum campus was practically empty by the time we got to the planetarium), but that didn't ameliorate the fact that we had to stand in line for almost an hour just to buy tickets to get into the place.

i was also grossly misinformed about what a planetarium is all about. i thought it was mostly exhibits about star stuff with the dome shows. it's mostly about the dome shows with some odd things to pad out the shows. this didn't stop us from doing our usual thing of making an absolute farce of well...everything.

this is us in infrared


this is me going to renaissance astronomy school


this is me asking my renaissance astronomy school prof a question


this is the dotytron as a peruvian astronomer (or something)


this is the dotytron kissing this weird hologram/projection of a creepy kid fixated on space


we saw two shows. one was this 3D symphony of animated and manipulated space stuff set to an orchestra. it was very boring and uneducational and i used that time to take a much-needed 30. according to the dotytron, there were people sawing logs all over. then we saw an AWESOME light/show thing called "secrets of the night sky" in the planetarium proper which was mind-blowingly good. at certain points, i wanted to stand up and randomly scream it was so good. this only reinforces my plan to build my ultimate fun-zone if i ever win the lottery. the ultimate fun-zone consists of a lazy river crossed with a planetarium. eh, eh? pretty solid, huh?

the dotytron and i travel in this really weird way where i spend hours and hours and hours making a spreadsheet of places to eat and do a meals itinerary (replete with coding the spread sheet entries and plotting it on a map) but then when we actually arrive at a destination, we're extremely laid back and don't do any research about the actual "must-see" sites and stuff. like, i do *some* background reading but it's pretty scattershot. we end up mostly just goofing off by being us in a different place without having to think about life stuff and laughing like idiots. most of the time we stumble upon the tourist sites while traipsing around in pursuit of one local delicacy or another. like, in chicago, we saw this famous picasso sculpture by getting lost and happening upon it:

we also bail on stuff right left and centre because in the end, we don't care. like in italy, we didn't care if we saw real david, fake david was okay. we don't HAVE to go to galleries and museums and whatnot and totally don't stress about absolutely having to see this, that or the other thing, the most important thing is hanging. this might surprise some people who would think that i would have trips scheduled down to the minute. i'm actually a very laid-back, roll with the punches, unflappable traveler - as long as we get to eat the goods.

anyway, for dinner the first night we went to lou malnati's which serves chicago-style deep dish pizza. bwong had brought me back a stuffed crust specimen (from giordano's - another heavy hitter in the chicago pizza scene) so we decided to try the classic deep dish with the full sausage patty. it was incredible. first, let's look at what our buddy lou here calls a salad:

yes, that's piles of meat on the antipasto salad. it was really good though - and i needed the vinegary cushion for the coming assault on my colon. look at this slice:

lou's has a very chunky, sprightly, oregano-infused tomato sauce, the acidity of which cuts through the solid 1/2" of cheese. overall, i think i preferred this to the stuffed crust, which seriously had like a 2" block of cheese sandwiched with a cracker like dough. this dough had a nice chew but was still super crisp-crusted and buttery. the sauce made the whole thing come together though and helped you feel slightly less gross about eating 2 slices (and seriously contemplating a third).

then we came back to the hotel to "get changed" before going out to see bill frissell but then ended up bailing on the show and passing out at 9pm for a well deserved one of the best sleeps of my adult life. it was sooooooooo good. the pillows on our bed were like, 3 feet long. my only complaint is that a king sized bed makes you feel like there's an ocean between you and we're so used to sleeping on a double that all the space left me feeling a little bereft. it's too crazy.

more on the trip, tomorrow.

fin.