Why would you ask me?

I've been emailing back and forth recently with a friend from undergrad that I've only kept touch with on a once-a-year email exchange basis. He recently moved to Philadelphia to do a post-doc there and we had had plans to meet up for the first time in 3 years before he left, but things got hectic and post-poned. Anyway, he's headed back to finish up his research in Toronto and wanted to put the feelers out so that we could finally get together. This guy is a pretty anarchist-y type - in the squatter/bomb the suburbs/dabbles in hard drugs kind of way. We all went to see Baudrillard and Spivak together and it was one of the BEST experiences of my life and he was Trent University Cultural Studies crew back when Cultural Studies was a bit of a fringe discipline.

ANYWAY, he sent me an email letting me know he was coming back to town and asking what's been up with me, whereupon I had to confess that all my youthful, anti-establishment idealism had been forsaken and I was now a married (!) homeowner (!) with a kid (!) Ugh. The small part of 19 year old Karl Lagerfeld that still exists as some vestigial memory of when I wasn't a honky grandma still shudders at the Karl Lagerfeld of today - the diffidently political, mostly a-critical sellout who is hardly a contributing member of civil society and only reads the entertainment sections of the Huffington Post. (In my defense - I REALLY REALLY REALLY hate the headline page - with the stupid Arial font screaming OBAMA IN AFGHANISTAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) (Hyperbole aside - fine, it doesn't have a million exclamation marks, but the thing that bugs me with the Huffington Post front page headline is that IT MIGHT AS WELL and it looks like it was made - by me - in my grade 11 social studies class when I had to make a webpage about my project on 1960s and I was like, "uh, okay, sure I'll make a 'webpage' - whatever THAT is.")

ANYWAY, I digress. In the email he asked me (me!) if I had any links to the "dom world" for a friend of his who was moving to Toronto and looking for work/video work in that field. I was like, "why would you ask meeee???" This is illustrative of a few things:

1) How far Karl Lagerfeld v. 2011 is from Karl Lagerfeld v.1996

2) How I must have TOTALLY misrepresented myself in undergrad for someone to think that I even have lingering connections or know-how of S&M culture

The past two mornings I've been dragging the Big Yam to drop-in centres in the neighbourhood (how's THAT for being indicative of my current subcultural affiliations?) There's a few run by the province in some schools (that follow the school calendar and are thus closed during the summer, holiday break, March break, etc.) and some that are year-round in community centres attached to schools or in church basements. The one in the school closest to us is pretty boss - bright, clean, scheduled activities (songs, physical activities), with a water table, sand table, toys, arts and crafts supplies, etc. They all seem to share a fridge, kitchenette, etc. and it's a great resource if you start to feel squirrely and want an outing for you and your kid. I can imagine it'd be a godsend if you had more than 1 at home. The Big Yam is a little small for most of the things but he got a kick sitting in the exersaucer (our house is too small for one) and seemed to enjoy the visual stimulation and staring at people other than me for a change. I've also increased my song repertoire, which is what inspired me to go in the first place. I can't believe these resources are FREE! So amazing! So much better than a "mommy club" - listening to "guest speakers" on "how to get along with your mother in law" and sipping lattes.

Yesterday we went to visit Ehmdo at her place at Queen and Bathurst. That corner steadfastly resists gentrification like no other. But oh! So many shops surrounding it! So many things to buy! I could hardly believe it - it's been a long time since I've ventured down that way.

Last night for dinner I made us freezer mac'n'cheese and a shredded brussels sprout salad with my new go-to usual add-ins of toasted pine nuts, dijon mustard, olive oil, and lemon, alongside some sautéed spinach with garlic.

Tonight we were supposed to take my mum to Woodlot for dinner but she canceled because work is insane for her right now and it's taking a lot out of her looking after my Poh Poh. So instead we tried 786 Halal Restaurant in little India. It was decent Pakistani cuisine, but not as good as our go-to, Makkah on the Danforth. We ordered ginger lamb kahari, beef chapli, biryani rice, naan, and a saag paneer. Call me finicky, but I really really really hate when they leave the cloves and stuff in the biryani rice. It's so annoying biting into a clove! So annoying! Also the chapli kabob (the ground beef patty) was littered with whole cardamom seeds. Also unpleasant. And that is why I will never travel to India. LOL!

Fin.

Things I learned this weekend

1) The Dotytron LOVES Pac Mall (Pacific Mall for the uninitiated) more than anything ever. We got roped into going with my mum to some Stem Cell fair her non-profit organization was running (the aim is to sign up more Chinese people to the stem cell database to increase the pool of potential matches) and the carrot was that we would pick up Beard Papa cream puffs on the way home. As we were wandering around Pac Mall waiting for the Beard Papa stand to open, the Dotytron sighed wistfully and said, "I wish there was a mall like this closer to where we live - I would be here ALL THE TIME." This is pretty significant considering the Dotytron hates malls, shopping, and once had a near-breakdown buying a pair of Birkenstocks in Florence with me and Dr. Rei in an episode that was immediately infamous. However, as the Dotytron noted, Pac Mall is filled with stores selling only what he likes: electronics, DVDs, ridiculous FOB apparel, bubble tea, Chinese food, weird herbal/medicinal ingredients.

2) The movie Babe 2: Pig in the City features a distinguished orangutan, who speaks in mellifluous, sonorous tones, who ALSO goes by the name Thelonius (pictured below.) LOL! It's spelled differently, we added the extra "o" to make it more in line with how the great Monk spelled it. We also found out recently that Thelonious Monk had a nephew named Theo Lonious, due to a birth certificate error.

3) Uncle Rico is apparently the biggest Price is Right fan of all time. Bruce Wayne downloaded Family Feud and Price is Right onto this iPad and it resulted in endless hours of entertainment over the weekend, replete with Uncle Rico exhibiting a startling knowledge of Price is Right tips, tricks, and lore.

4) Phoenix Restaurant, when they talk about their "house special" dessert, the "big toast" is NOT KIDDING about a) how big or b) how toast it is. Take a look at this thing!

It's basically a GIANT cube of the softest, sweetest, squishiest bread, completely devoid of nutritional or colonic value (no fibre here!), lightly toasted, scored on the inside and swabbed with salted, melted butter and then topped with ice cream (in the flavour of your choosing), whipped cream, strawberries and banana. This dessert has Dr. Rei written all over it. This dessert has anyone with tastebuds written all over it. I love Phoenix. Only there, can a table of 8 order at least one dish apiece, AND desserts AND drinks and have the bill come to just a hair (literally, like 38 cents) over $100, INCLUDING tip.

5) Paul Haggis is the WORST screenwriter/director of all time and the awarding of Crash the Best Picture Oscar of 2006 will go down in history as one of the biggest, bleeding-heart-iest mistakes in a long line of Academy liberalism. That is to say, that we rented The Next Three Days:

and it was terrible. It was pretty ridiculous, which should have been evident in the casting-against-type of the more comedically inclined Elizabeth Banks as an accused murderer (!) who has three days for her husband (Crowe) to break her out of county jail (!) before going away to a penitentiary for life. It was CRAZY STUPID. Gaping plot holes, hackneyed, whatever cleverness there was in the plot completely foiled by the implausibility and false urgency of the genius Pittsburgh police detectives cracking a case in 2 seconds. It was really really bad. Entertainingly so for my family, but allow me to save you two hours of your life. Instead of yelling at the TV, I'm sure you could find better ways to occupy yourself.

Friday night's pre-dodgeball dinner was a making-use-of-leftovers goodie. Pan-fried corned beef slices, pan-fried chestnut-herb stuffing cakes, fried egg. Nom nom nom!

Tonight we had a cobb salad (iceberg lettuce, tomatoes, turkey, avocadoes, hardboiled egg, crisped bacon, bleu d'Auvergne cheese, chives, dijon vinaigrette. So tasty! Loves me a protein-rich salad.

Here are two bonus pics of the Big Yam. One where he looks like a hipster farmer growing organic food in Portland, Oregon and the other where he looks like the little Star Eyes he is:




Fin.

I didn't get the job

Ah well - it was an enriching learning experience and I've made some good contacts and I've also put out feelers to get some constructive feedback about what I need to work on in terms of my interviewing. It almost sounds like I mean it, right? I just hate hate hate not getting stuff. Boo. I'm disappointed in myself but also relieved that I don't have to cut my maternity leave short and that I have a job I love to come back to. I'm also disappointed that all my interview preparation meant that I didn't get my late assignment done in the time I had earmarked for it during March Break and now I'm scrambling to get it done during regular time.

Moving on, a funny story involving a characteristically Dotytron bon mot. While we were in Geneseo, my mum emailed me a photo requesting that we buy the following item for her from Bed Bath and Beyond because the handle on hers broke:

The Dotytron and I embarked on our mission with no small amount of trepidation - as I've mentioned before, I come from a fairly liberal, extremely sex-positive family, so we had no idea what kind of humiliating shopping encounter we were being set up for. We entered Bed Bath and Beyond and I had the unenviable task of attempting to describe a device about whose function I had NO inkling (in characteristic my mum sending an email fashion - no details provided but the photo) to a well-intentioned employee so that I could ascertain its whereabouts.

We got to the "personal care" section and I spied it on the shelf. Guys, it's a "Roll A Lotion" (a body lotion applicator):

I grabbed it, showed it to the Dotytron and explained the usage to him. He stared at me with his mouth agape and then said, "Good God. What kind of relationship does this woman find herself in?" LOLOLOLOLOL!!! So funny.

Yesterday I trucked with the Big Yam through that crazy freak late-March snowstorm to go with my friend M to visit our friend G who just had a baby last week. M & G are friends from my Canoe days. G's baby looks like a mini Reverend Al Sharpton (but I didn't tell her that). So wee! I can't even remember when T was that wee - 6lbs 7oz (technically, T was never that tiny). The Reverend Al had a thick head of hair, a chill disposition and scrawny little limbs. We were remarking on what a crazy time we worked together and how many of the people we knew went on to open their own places. Porchetta & Co., Bobette & Belle, The Black Hoof, Campagnolo, Lucien, OMG Baked Goodness - they're all people I either worked with directly at Canoe, or who were part of the Oliver Bonacini empire while I was there. In other cooks-days news, I found out that two of the Toronto contestants on the Canadian version of Top Chef are people I worked with. I wasn't going to watch the show - I'm leery of Canadian iterations of AMAZING American reality programming (I have an instant aversion to Canadian low grade production values) but now I'm intrigued enough to tune in. That said, it's just going to be so sad and pathetic. Who are their guest judges going to be? How are they going to find people on par with Wylie Dufreshne, or Joel Robuchon? How is our host, Thea Andrews, going to possibly hold a candle to Padma? Ugh. I'm already experiencing displaced embarrassment.

Last night I used the leftover corned beef and turned them into panini'd reuben sandwiches, sided with my not-very-good first batch of dill pickles from the summer (not crisp enough and too vinegary) and that pecan, spicy cheese, apple, greens, maple vinaigrette salad:

Tonight we had a chickpea, leek, and parmesan soup kicked up with chilis, alongside a salad of mixed baby greens, roasted carrot, blue cheese, and walnuts in that maple vinaigrette.

Academic book club tonight - we read The Bone Cage - full review to follow.

Fin.

The story

of a boy and his stuffed rabbit.

So cute. Here's the Big Yam taking a wee before-bed catnap with the bunny his Great-Nany bought him (provisional name: Mr. Mistoffelees). Right now he stuffs everything into his mouth, either as a mode of sensory exploration or to ease the ache in his gums from the jaggedy tooth poking through. The result is, when he gets his chubby mitts on the rabbit, it looks like he's bringing it in for a big, juicy kiss.

Tonight's dinner was a shepherd's pie. I used ground lamb from the Mennonites and also used a pack of stewing beef from the Mennonites that I "ground" in the food processor. I added thyme, onions, garlic and threw that in the baking dish. As a thrifty housewife measure I added the creamed spinach on top of that, and topped the whole off with the leftover champ. Baked it in a 400F oven for about 1 hour covered with foil and then an additional 20 minutes with some grated sharp cheddar cheese on top. Sided it with some sautéed brussels sprouts:

Took some initiative and hoofed it to the Beaches branch of TPL (which is as tony as you might expect from the location) to sign up the Big Yam for the baby story time. We'll see if we get in - it's a lottery. Picked up some new books for him as well - classic Ezra Jack Keats and Bill Peet and Maurice Sendak stuff - I like the tried and true.

I also wasted A LOT of time on Pinterest today. It's like an online (cloud?) bulletin board/inspiration board for images you come across on your web travels. I find it a more useful Delicious because of the visual element - and most of the time I'm flagging images for inspiration rather than webpages anyway. It's incredible and astonishing how many "me" types there are out there and how similar the aesthetic is. Not that I'm under any delusions that I'm a special star...but the crafty, visually-oriented, terrarium-obsessed, mid-century-modern enthusiast, parent, knitter, cook, thing is a real thing, ya know? I'm okay with it though - it's nice to know that there are more people with similar taste out there sharing the love of all things pretty and cute and whimsical and fun. Although, I am a bit chagrined that my grey-acid yellow home decor colour scheme is catching on.

Fin.

Credit default swaps

We finished watching the documentary, Inside Job on Sunday morning. It took us a while to get through it only because we are financial idiots and the inherent representational fallacies of the current markets is very confusing for old school, fiscally conservative, money-in-a-cigar-box-under-the-mattress types like us. So we'd have to keep stopping the movie to rewind the bit about credit default swaps and how Morgan Stanley was selling these crappy CDOs to investors while at the same time betting against their failure. It's galling. People are so GREEDY. And for what? I really don't get it. Cocaine is expensive and it sucks. Those prostitutes look terrible and it's stupid to pay $1000 for something you can get any Friday night at Brant House on King Street West for the cost of a couple of Grey Goose cranberry cocktails. Why do people want giant houses in the Hamptons? I get anxiety just thinking about trying to fill, never mind clean a place that size. And yes, I know they have an armada of brown-skinned cleaning staff to do the cleaning for them, but still! It's so sad and lonely to be rattling around a giant mansion - pathetic, really. Also, I hate hate hate those shirts with the white collars and cuffs (contrast collar shirts, I believe they're called), they make anyone wearing them look like an a**face:

Ugh. The documentary is really well done, up until the final rallying cry at the very very very end, which is maudlin and hokey. I'm like, guys, seriously? You couldn't have capitalized or channeled the deserved audience indignation at giant bonuses and lack of accountability and lobbying into something a little more potent? You'll have to see it to see what I'm talking about. Leading up to that moment though, it's one breath-taking revelation of greed and unscrupulous behavior after another. I wish we could send those jerks to clean up the nuclear reactors in Japan. That's what **I** would do. I'd highly recommend it. Inspired by this film and leading up to Hot Docs at the end of April, we've got a heady slate of documentaries lined up: Restrepo, Client No. 9, No End in Sight, Autumn Gold, Gasland. I'm ready!

Nany gave us an awesome new waffle maker so we had an inauguration breakfast featuring Belgian style liege waffles (yeasted waffles with chunks of pearl sugar) in them yesterday and Bob Evans sausage:

For anyone who has ever been to Belgium, that is a real-deal Belgian waffle. Somewhere across the Atlantic, the meaning of a Belgian waffle got bastardized to include basically any waffle. Not so! A Belgian waffle is a yeasted, sweet, almost cake-like confection that is sturdy and is frequently studded with pearl sugar, which I received as a gift from my colleague LD.

Here is a slightly blurry photo of the Big Yam wearing the new hat that Nany bought for him and trying to eat/give kisses to the Easter bunny stuffy she got him:

That hat is HILARIOUS. He looks like he's ready to hit the links in Sarasota or something.

In other Big Yam news: he's working on dem teef! I felt the jagged little edge of a bottom tooth poking out last night. I'm a little sadface about it. It seems like a big milestone and soon he won't be nursing as much and it's all happening so darned fast. JUST LOOK AT THAT BIG YAM FACE! We felt really bad on Saturday night/Sunday morning. We stayed really late at B&G's house and the Big Yam was such a trooper. We ate a late dinner, midway through, we changed him into his sleeper, gave him a bottle, and put him in the car seat, rocked him for a bit and he fell asleep. We didn't end up leaving their house until 1am, and because we had walked, we had to walk the poor snoozy bastard all the way home in the cold, feeling guilty the whole time that this well behaved, awesome kid was being trucked out in the chilly early spring damp for 20 minutes while all he wanted to do and deserved for being such an awesome dinner guest was the comfort of his own bed, not to be strolled through Leslieville at an ungodly hour. Poor guy. We felt so bad, as we whizzed past the bar scene at the Curzon, and the shuttered, darkened windows of all the restos on Queen East, we kept saying, "HE IS SUCH A GOOD BABY!" He's making it so easy on us to enjoy our lives. What a mensch.

Last night's dinner was delicious. I made a roasted turkey, chestnut-herb stuffing, champ, creamed spinach, and sweet potatoes with marshmallow topping. Of course I made way too much of everything, but we're having round two tonight. A proper turkey dinner is so good and so labour intensive, you really should get 2 meals out of it. I did notice that the Dotytron's family left a lot of skin on their plates. You gotta pick your battles. Dessert was a rich, egg-bread based pecan bread pudding with a bourbon toffee sauce. Hotcha!

We're all kind of sad that March Break is done around these parts and today is a grey, gloomy day - the kind that makes you want to hunker down and sleep. Because I was consumed with interview prep and family drama all last week, I've got to start/finish my assignment on the role of the Supreme Court in shaping public policy this week and get that done. I'm supposed to find out about the job in the next two weeks. I'm not optimistic, but the important thing is that I did it and that I currently have a job I love. That's a pretty good spot to be in.

Fin.

Hiatus

I've taken an extended March Break hiatus from blogging, which isn't to say there hasn't been mucho excitement 'round these parts. We spent the bulk of the break down in Geneseo with my sis and Uncle Rico and the family, which meant a lot of eating fatty food, checking out the designer reissues at Target, prepping for my interview, and loafing. We did manage to squeeze in some activity time - we hit the bowling alley whereupon I promptly DECIMATED my previous all-time bowling best score by bowling a game with 3 strikes, which is practically unheard of for me and was made all the more staggering considering I did so with the Big Yam riding shotgun in the wrap on my back. Amazing!

Little Little Cuz is cute-ing up like crazy. This is a picture from late February when my sis and fam were in town for my Kung Kung's funeral, but look at what a little gaffer he is:

He has an extremely endearing baby pterodactyl scratchy thin voice and is capable of exhibiting much anguish. It's very cute. He has these hoarse little high pitched wailing cries which are hilarious.

Geneseo also involved Wii Jeopardy which was SO. MUCH. FUN (if you're a Jeopardy-fanatic - and I come from a family of Jeopardy disciples.)

We came back in time to experience the tail half of a March Break that's been filled with socializing. On St. Paddy's Day we entertained no less than THREE sets of visitors - starting with H and baby D in the early afternoon, then JSculls and Lolly, and THEN for dinner we had A in from NYC and Bobes. I was busy doing interview prep so the Dotytron was in charge of the annual St. Paddy's feast - he did a bang-up job. We had champ (scallion mashed potatoes), braised cabbage with apples & bacon, and mustard-brown sugar oven baked corned beef:

I had my interview yesterday. I *think* it went well. The prep work that I did and the suggestions my sister, the Dotytron, and Bruce Wayne (who was also down in Geneseo) offered was really valuable. I was making the standard mistake of burying my answers and offering too much explanation when we were prepping - so during the interview I made sure to front-load the answer and then spend the time with the explanation and background. You're always going to beat yourself up - there were some points that I wish I had wanted to hit that I neglected to, some of the situational questions took me off guard, and I stumbled on a really basic question (describe how a bill gets passed into law), but otherwise, I think I came off as poised and eloquent. Ultimately, I have a job that I love and I would prefer to ride out the rest of my maternity leave and not have to scramble any more than I already am for daycare. The thought of leaving the Big Yam before he's even eating solid foods yet is a little heart-wrenching. It's a pretty good position to be in - the most important thing is that I put my face out there and have more interview experience under my belt - it's win-win.

I bought a Mossimo sedate, somewhat matronly, serious grey dress at Target for the interview. The Designer Re-Issues (featuring the best of 5 years of Target designer collaborations) were picked over like whoa by the time I got there, the day after they were released. All that was left was a jersey, blue and green striped Libertine dress that was okay for casual wear, but I found the puffed sleeves unflattering to my jiggly arms, some Rodarte stuff that I thought looked uber-cheap, a Zac Posen party dress (same), a Proenza Schouler pink/purple number in XL, and some Luella and that was about it. I really wanted the Thakoon cyber-floral print dress but it was already gone. Le sigh. Ah well, better than fighting tooth and nail through a pack of rabid PYTs on opening day. My interest in fashion has definitely changed and I'm less committed to putting together stand-out looks...although I do love a good shop now and then. I love my spring/summer wardrobe of vaguely boho muumuus and vintage dresses and smocked stuff but winter is a different story. Having a baby really does mean you dress for comfort and ready access to the boobs so I'm feeling the pinch of having spent the past 3 years building up my work wardrobe. The other thing I love about my current position is that it's pretty business casual (more on the casual side). We can't wear jeans but I can get away with a lot more than I would otherwise. There is a part of me that is looking to start dressing a little more maturely - I'm worried my youthful looks (the florist we worked with for Kung Kung's funeral was shocked I wasn't in late high school, early undergrad) are undermining my professional development. Things I want: a pair of open-toed dark brown-black clogs (that I can wear with tights in the winter and around in the summer), and boyfriend-cut trousers or a pair of jeans that I can roll up at the leg. More colourful flats and belts and candy-coloured cardigans for layering.

Yesterday after the interview it was ANOTHER 3 visit day. I met up with K from work to pick up my Hot Docs festival pass (wahoo!) With a baby, a festival pass is probably ambitious but TPat is visiting with me from Vancouver while it's happening, so I figure that we can go out and watch some docs while the Dotytron watches the baby perhaps...we'll figure something out! Then I came home and met up with S for some coffee and pastries at Bobette and Belle (so dangerous that they're around the corner from us!!!). We rode our bikes and it was my first time on the silver bullet in oh, EIGHT MONTHS AND OH LORD IT FELT SO GOOD! I felt FREE. I'd love to buy myself a new bike this summer or invest in a trailer for Master T, but the Chariot brand ones are like, $600! It's crazy! And because they're so expensive they're hard to come by used. Also, I'm not sure what the smallest size of baby bike helmets are.

Then we had dinner with Dr. Rei at her place, drinking flat root beer and playing with Master T and grilled Hanbo on derivatives when he got home.

Today we woke up early and headed over to the Evergreen Brickworks Farmer's Market. It was my first time going to that complex - it's pretty boss! They have skating and there are trails and the place is huge. The winter's farmer's market was a little meagre, but I could see how it would be bumping in the summer. It was earnest-lefty-urbanite mecca. There's 40 acres of space around there so I'm excited to walk the trails in the summer. We paid $10 for a "big" breakfast from one of the stands that was supposed to feature scrambled eggs, sausage, biscuits, gravy. We got the equivalent of HALF an egg, not even scrambled, but in sad, folded, rubbery, flat pancake form, one sausage patty, two of the densest, most disgusting biscuits I've ever had (we were only supposed to get 1, but he gave us an extra because it was a little small) and some mixed greens. FOR TEN DOLLARS. As soon as we walked away from the stand the Dotytron turned to me and said, "meagre" and it was. I replied, "Ummm...have you ever been to CRACKER BARREL?" I forgot to mention that the sausage gravy was thin, brown, and watery. I'm 100% Canadian but how is it that I know that sausage gravy is a cream-based, flour-thickened concoction and this guy doesn't? At Cracker Barrel you get about 3 times the amount of food and it's actually delicious. The Dotytron kept saying that the breakfast was "wack attack" and that the best thing about it was the salad and that wasn't saying much. We followed it up with a crepe with ham, cheese, green onions, hollandaise, and a fried egg which was much, much better.

So you've been warned. If you go to the Brickworks Farmer's Market, DO NOT get the "big breakfast" but stick with the crepes. Or, do as Master T did and try a pear:

Baby Led Weaning! BLW! We're starting to think about solid food introduction. He's still got the tongue thrust reflex so it's a little early for rice cereal, but I ordered some laminated cotton to make a giant placemat and something to put under the high chair and I've gotten out the spoons and bowls and starting to think about it more concretely. I cut up the pear when we got home into elongated chunks and let him pick it up and play with it and suck on it. I figure if he's going to be gumming anything or gnawing on something, it's better if it's food - even if pears are pretty sweet.

Tonight we're having dinner with B & G and S & P. Fun! Apparently dinner is "Irish themed." Looking forward to seeing those guys. I'm such a lucky pig - so many people to love and see around me.

The most exciting thing that's been happening around here is some family drama involving my deadbeat da' and the woman he married. Without getting into all the ugly details, let's just say it got kicked into high gear with an email from her, to me, calling me a "RUDE HEARTLESS MISERABLE B***H" (capslock hers). CRAY-CRAY! I wasn't too fussed about it because I'm used to that kind of behavior from her, but the Dotytron was pretty upset. In his words, "you are rude and you are a b***h, but you are NOT heartless. You're ALL heart." I think he was offended that someone would think he would allow a heartless person to be the mother of his progeny. Thanks for having my back, Dotytron. I think.

Fin.

Cloth diapering

So we're almost into month 5 of cloth diapering and I have to say that we're really happy with our decision.

We originally purchased the cloth diapering start-up package from Diaper Eez in Bloor West Village. This set us up with a diaper pail, 2 charcoal filters for the pail, 2 deodorizing pucks for the pail, 2 diaper pail bags, 30 diapers/covers of our choosing. We ended up going with the Bummis brand unbleached, organic "prefolds" diapers instead of the all-in-one style, mostly because they're significantly cheaper (we would have gone with the bleached, "Chinese" cotton - they're racially suspect classification, not mine! - but they don't sell them any more due to low demand from uptight parents who want everything their kid to touch to be organic.) The all-in-one style (where the extra cotton absorbent part and the shell are one attached piece) also mean that you have to wash the insert and shell together every single time, which means you have to buy more, and at $25 a pop on average and with the recommendation that you stock up on at least 24 diapers, that shiz adds up!

We bought 24 of the small sized cloth diaper inserts (which basically just look like a rectangle of fabric with a thicker, reinforced panel going down the middle), and 12 of the larger sized ones as well as 6 of the Bummis Super Whisper Wrap covers, which look like this:

The Super Whisper Wraps feel like a laminated cotton, so they're quite plasticky on the outside and they were sold to us as being better than other Bummis wraps because of the extra interior leg gusset (which you can see above) which is supposed to help keep the poop in. We used them once and didn't like them.

Luckily, I had bought a set of GroBaby semi-disposable diaper inserts and 6 GroBaby shells when they were on sale through BabySteals. The company has rebranded as GroVia, which is why the GroBaby stuff was 50% off. The inserts are 100% compostable and basically stick inside the shell, with the same design as a regular, disposable diaper. BEST INVESTMENT EVER. I can't say enough good things about the GroVia shells. They're a soft material (so they don't feel plasticky), the leg gussets fit nice and tight and hold the cloth in, and the velcro tabs compared to the Bummis are off the chains good. Here's what they look like:

After digging around ye olde internets, it looks like the new line of the Gro Via's feature button snaps instead of velcro. MISTAKE! Velcro makes the BEST waistband cinching material. As you can see, the Gro Via's have a series of snaps on the front to make it easier to adjust the length as your baby grows.

So we basically use the Bummi's prefold inserts, folded up inside the Gro Via shells and love them. There are MANY ways to fold a pre-fold cloth diaper. I sent the Dotytron a link to some options and we did a trifold in the beginning, but the Dotytron 2 weeks in came up with a fold he calls "the elephant" which has been the best - it features a wide, spread out rear piece for the poops narrowing down to a three-fold for the pee part. Hard to explain, but it works a charm. With 24 diapers, we do laundry about every 3 days. Master T goes through about 6-8 diapers a day (I change him about every 1.5-2 hours) and we use 2 disposables at night. When we go out, we generally use the Gro Via insert inside the shell.

Questions we get asked:

1) How often do you do laundry?

As I mentioned, we wash the diapers (and yes, we wash them ourselves and don't use as service) every 3 days. When it's summer, I'll probably line-dry the diapers out in the sun, which has the added bonus of bleaching out the poop stains (it's like magic!) in addition to saving on energy.

2) Does it stink?

Milk poos don't stink. It actually just smells like buttermilk (and I should know, as when I opened a carton of buttermilk for Tuesday's pancakes, I was tricked into thinking that the Big Yam had deuced)

I can't say enough good things about this. We've had ZERO poopsplosions (poo leaking out the diaper and up the back of the baby) with the cloth, with 1 close call. In the disposables, poopsplosions are de rigeur. It's gross. It's just as easy as disposable and I'm big on the environmental benefits. Which have been questioned by some people, now that disposable diapers can be chucked into the green bin, but I will say the following:

1) disposable diapers still require processing to filter out the plastic

2) they still CONTAIN plastic

3) even though we use water and energy to wash our diapers, with new high efficiency washers and dryers, I have a hard time believing that it's not more environmentally sound than disposable, especially when stuff isn't going to a landfill

4) the environmental impact of PRODUCING the diapers has got to be less with cloth, if for no other reason than you make a ONE TIME investment in cloth diapers and just keep reusing the same 24 over and over again, whereas disposable diapers are disposable (duh) AND there is the environmental cost of MAKING THEM.

5) the first R is reduce, people

So I'd say overall we're really pleased with our decision and find it easy. We have to change the little guy a little more often than we would if he was in a disposable, since it doesn't wick away the moisture, but that's fine, especially when it comes time to train the guy to use a toilet like a regular person. Disposable diapers make it REALLY easy and consequence-free to soil oneself. He's had one case of diaper rash, but babies in disposables get those all the time (maybe even more frequently, because of the lack of breathability.) And the balance of using the 2 disposables at night mean that we reduce our environmental impact AND get a good night's sleep.

Last night Dotytron made us meatball sammies. Using leftover frozen meatballs, simmered in the sauce I froze them with, and baked on the bun in the oven with mozzarella cheese with sautéed brussels sprouts salad (lemon, dijon, pine nuts, olive oil.)

Tonight I made us shrimp'n'grits. I had a polenta/grits revelation. Usually, I don't cook my polenta enough when I do it on the stove top, because it turns into a bubbly, spitty, stovetop destroying thick unmanageable mess. I basically just do it until it's thick and then take it off the stove, which takes like 5 minutes. So I looked up a slow cooker polenta recipe and put everything in the slow cooker and cranked it on high for 3 hours and oh lordy...so THAT'S what homemade polenta is supposed to taste like. Every corn kernal swollen and airy and puffed up with liquid - the entire mass a smooth, rich, creamy pablum belying the absence of any full fat dairy whatsoever. It was good stuff, I tells you. I think I'm always going to do my polenta/grits like that in the future. I made a tonne - so I'm trying an experiment and leaving the polenta in the slow cooker on warm overnight so that I can eat it with a pat of butter and maple syrup tomorrow morning for breakfast. The shrimp was cooked in a roux-thickened gumbo of sorts with chorizo and okra and the trinity, cajun spice, cayenne, and dried thyme. Delicious:

Tomorrow after work we head out to Geneseo! Now to continue with my interview prep.

Fin.

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Fluffy, Light Buttermilk Pancakes

makes 12-15 large (6" diameter) pancakes

adapted slightly from David Rosengarten's It's All American Food

2 1/4 c. all purpose flour

2 t. (heaping) baking powder

2 t. baking soda

big pinch salt

2 eggs

2 3/4 - 3 c. buttermilk

1/2 c. sugar

1/2 c. melted butter

- take all the ingredients, and whisk them together. Add the lower amount of buttermilk initially.

- I always let pancake and crepe batters rest for at least an hour before using them

- I prefer to blitz my pancake/crepe batter mixes with a hand blender or in a regular blender and then have the resting time to allow the gluten to relax so that the cakes are tender

- Before serving, give the batter a stir, if it's too thick for your liking, add the extra 1/4 c. of buttermilk in 1 T. increments until you get your desired pancake consistency, with the knowledge that thinner pancake batter produces a lighter, though slightly more difficult to work with, pancake.

Life goes on

and on and on. Having to hold it together for the Big Yam is making a big difference - as is the fact that I have an interview next Friday, we're heading out to Geneseo for March Break this Friday, our social calendar shows no signs of letting up, and I have to do a make up assignment for the class I missed on Saturday and I still have 1 five page paper and 2 twenty page research papers to do before I'm all caught up with school. Also: I have summer school. Ugh.

After watching the following trailer for the new X-Men movie, X-Men: First Class starring my beloved Michael Fassbender (from Hunger and Inglourious Basterds)

we set up the following shot, with the role of Professor Xavier played by the Big Yam and Magneto played by Little Big Cuz:

Here's the Big Yam all decked out in Nany knits. I showed this photo to the Dotytron and asked, "happy or angry?" (Answer: happy):

The Big Yam has been working on quite a few things, as it turns out. On Thursday night he started making the wet, "raspberry" sound which is hilarious. He wakes up in the middle of the night blowing raspberries and it's pretty cute. He's also started more actively reaching for things and putting things in his mouth - a couple of times he's gotten the bink in there on his own, which is a milestone I'm REALLY looking forward to - I'm more than happy to relinquish the role of binky-inserter. Tummy time is progressing quite slowly but he almost almost rolled over (the hard way, from back to front) on the weekend, so that's something. I think I'm going to buy him a little potty this weekend and a potty seat for the toilet so we can start doing our own jerry-rigged form of EC (elimination communication).

I have a job interview next Friday - I'm 100% not going to get the job, but it's been a worthwhile experience revisiting my resume and cover letter and getting my face out there and gearing up for the interview. I'm not sure what the start date is for the position and while I've been joking all this time that I can't wait to go back to work, last night, when the Big Yam was hanging off me like a little monkey child and I was kissing his cheeks and he was laughing his butt off, I felt a twinge - well, more like a hot poker burn - of ruefulness at having to leave him in the care of others before the year was up. Even at the end of the year it's going to be hard - as much as I love working and my job and the productivity of not being a full time mom, the idea of the frenzied rush of feeding, bathing, sleeping all squeezed into 2 hours post-work is really sad. The fact that you have to squeeze all your parenting in from 5:30-8:00pm is the pits. Job share is really the wave of the future. I didn't think I would be all sentimental about it, but my heart does give a little wrench whenever I think about him smiling all day in the company of a stranger. I have to remember that I'm lucky I get the promise of a year anyway.

These are the salmon and potato cakes from last week. I ended up using more potato than I should have - the salmon flavour could have been more pronounced - but after a dip in panko and a quick pan-fry they were pretty delicious. And you can't go wrong with brussels sprouts. The next morning, I took the leftover cakes, pan fried them, topped them with the chili mayo and topped that with a fried egg - breakfast of champions:

Here is the split pea and ham hock soup I made with the leftover ham. I could have used more split pea for the amount of leftover ham I had. I always add lots of celery, onions, garlic, carrots, and a sweet potato - this is a soup that eats like a meal:

Yesterday was Shrove Tuesday, or Pancake Tuesday as it's known around these secular parts. I made buttermilk pancakes using a David Rosengarten recipe. David Rosengarten is a chef/food writer/food personality who had a show in the early days of the Food Network called Taste. It was really good - kind of a less science-y, more austere, less goofy Alton Brown. Anyway, even though we don't normally like non-Swedish pancakes, these turned out really nice, light, and tender - I think it'll be my go-to buttermilk pancake recipe. I'll post it tomorrow. I added a little more buttermilk to thin it out which probably helped the consistency. I also embedded bacon and sausage in the pancakes. They were delicious. To complete the meal I made a Swedish pancake "cake" of Swedish pancakes layered with a thicken 3 berry compote topped with whipped cream. It's based on something similar R (of R&R Acres fame) made for the Dotytron's birthday some years ago at the farm - R is Estonian and the originator of the Swedish pancake recipe:

Tomorrow I'll post the pancake recipe and do a post on cloth diapering, since we get asked a lot how it's going.

Fin.

Funerals for life

Kung Kung's funeral was on Saturday. It's been a very emotional few days and I think I'm feeling a little depressed. I'm getting used to the idea that I'm going to be sad for a while. Today seems pretty bleak. There was all this momentum leading up to the funeral - organizing the program book, figuring out the speech, selecting flowers, figuring out all the arcane Chinese customs (of which, as my mom said, we're doing the "bare minimum" because if you went all crazy juju traditional about it, we'd probably have to take 6 months off of work and bind our feet and prostrate ourselves before a stone statue of Confucius or something), and now that the funeral is over, now that my siblings have scattered, now that we're back home, it's like the real work is beginning. The work of imagining a life without Kung Kung, the work of making sure my Poh Poh is okay.

I have only a scattered series of impressions from the visitation on Friday evening and the service on Saturday. There were some funny moments and there were some truly sorrowful moments. The chapel looked beautiful - so many people sent enormous flower displays and the chapel was filled to capacity - an amazing legacy - there's no way that many people would turn out for my funeral.

The reverend was wearing a Hugo Boss shirt that had all us kids giving each other "WTF?" type looks - it seemed like a specially designed one to accommodate the reverend collar. We had the photo boards put up around the chapel and there were a steady stream of people coming to the Friday night visitation and on Saturday. The receiving line at the end of the service on Saturday broke my heart. People filed up to pay final respects and there were "aunties" and "uncles" I hadn't seen in 10 years. The outpouring of support and love was incredible. It's remarkable how funerals bring people together, coming together across distance and time to make up a community from the pieces of your life. Grief is so much easier when people are knit together like this and our rites around death are an example of what people are capable of, at our very best. The feeling I had of being buoyed by this network caused me to utter the title phrase of this post to the Dotytron, "funerals 4 life!" I said in the car. To me, funerals and wakes are so much more meaningful than the way people come together for a wedding. It's easy to share in people's joy - it demands so much more of the goodness of humanity to come forward and offer to help shoulder the burden of someone's sorrow.

I beheld this network of people that have made up my life - who all knew my Kung Kung in some capacity or were there to support my mum and my family and I was unbelievably touched. It's crazy how a funeral becomes a sort of "Karl Lagerfeld...this is your life" situation. Some of these aunties and uncles I didn't even know by name - they were people who I only knew from seeing their faces at the mah jong and banquet tables at the three big to-do's my grandparents organized every year: Kung Kung's birthday, Poh Poh's birthday, and their anniversary. Some of them have known me since I was born and now that my Kung Kung has passed away and there's no more momentum to organize a big event, I'm suddenly feeling a loss for the end of an era. I'm wondering if I'll ever see these people again and I'm sad at the thought that I might not. It's even weirder when I think that I don't know some of their names - sitting at the "kids" table we came up with our own shorthand: Green Lantern Auntie, the Poet friend, the "brown" Auntie. LOL.

Funny story about "brown" auntie - it's terrible but we only know her as that because her brown-ness really made her stand out at the banquets...my grandparents aren't really known for having a multi-culti crew and Brown Auntie is a newer compadre. On Friday night I was working reception at the visitation, so I saw almost everyone who came in. I was fuming because I didn't see Brown Auntie show up and I then went off about it to my sister and Bruce Wayne, and made her the scapegoat for all my Kung Kung's fair weather friends - people I assumed would show up for the shark's fin soup at the banquets, but wouldn't be there when real friendship was required. During the paying of final respects, my siblings and I were flanking Poh Poh and offering her support as people filed by. My eyes were filled with tears at the kind hug of a long-forgotten auntie and I turned to the side and beheld Bruce Wayne, receiving a hug from Brown Auntie and Bruce Wayne met my eyes and gave me the tiniest, most imperceptible nod at the exact same moment that my sister gave me an urgent nudge in the side. All three of us broke into laughs and probably seemed really inappropriate, but it was some much needed levity. So thank you, Brown Auntie, for showing up at precisely the right moment.

I'm so proud of my littlest bro, who went up to the podium and nailed it with his speech. It was the cutest, sweetest, most heartfelt tribute ever, hitting all the marks - it was funny, it was personal and poignant. There is a 10 year difference between me and C-hova, so I wasn't around for most of his formative years. I sometimes wonder what it must have been like for him, to grow up almost an only child in my parent's giant house, with siblings who had other concerns and interests that he couldn't share in. An although I never think of him as an afterthought, my sister, Bruce Wayne and I do share a bank of memories and experiences that we went through together that C-hova just can't access. It is all the more remarkable then what a good kid he turned out to be.

I will always remember how, at the cemetery, on a miserable, wet, cold morning, as the casket was being lowered into the ground, my sister and I broke down crying, and I had my arm around her and I felt C-hova reach over and put his arm around us, and I felt Bruce Wayne reach over across my mother and put his hand on my shoulder, and we stood like that and watched Kung Kung's body being laid to rest. Even through my sadness, I will remember how grateful I felt for having such an extraordinary family and such amazing, accomplished, siblings to lean on.

In Chinese culture, it is traditional to bow 3 times during certain times of the year/significant days towards photos of your ancestors. Growing up, it was customary that during the Harvest Moon Festival, or Chinese New Year, we would be rounded up to bow 3 times in front of a picture of Kung Kung's mother, father, and his grandmother. Last night, as we were readying to depart for home, Poh Poh came over and suggested that we bow in front of Kung Kung's photo. It was very emotional - I never thought that one day, Kung Kung would be just a photo. And I know, somewhere, that he's not just a photo, that the usual platitudes are true, that he lives on in me, blah blah blah, but that knowledge seems very far and inaccessible at the moment, and all I can think about is that my Kung Kung is in the ground and that now Master T will be bowing before this photo of a man wearing a hesitant, for-the-photographer smile that doesn't begin to encapsulate his life or his essence and for Master T, that's all there is to that. The Chinese custom of bowing before your ancestors seems much more poignant and symbolic and weighty now. What were rote movements without meaning are now imbued with significance. I bow down before my grandfather and everything he represented - my body is weighed down by my gratitude to him for giving me life and for being a part of my story.

I'm struggling to find the gratitude that Master T got to meet his Tai Kung for 4 brief months and that I was lucky enough to have 31 years with my Kung Kung. I'm struggling to find the part where my incredible family, husband, and the circle of support of my grandparents' friends and my own will ease me to a better place. Right now, that doesn't seem possible. I know that life will prevail, that the mundane and petty realities will find a way to worm their way into occupying far too much of my waking hours, but right now, right now I am sad.

Fin.

Developmental delays

A while back we stopped reading about baby milestones because it was just easier for our own peace of mind to be blissfully unaware of how far the Boobla was lagging behind his peers. Recently, I became a bit concerned because after a steady round of early-onset cooing, he's sort of clammed up for the past month or so. Whatever vocalizations he does make can usually be more correctly characterized as either complaining or whinging, more often than not at high decibels with a fist jammed in his mouth, whereas before, he was very happy to try vowel consonant combinations at all hours of the day.

I went on a Google safari and came back armed with some sketchy, anecdotal evidence that other parents have experienced this too (although realistically, no matter how obscure the problem, the internet has infiltrated enough homes that you can usually rest assured that SOMEONE out in the world wide web shares your concern), and that they noticed it was usually when the baby was focusing on sorting something else out.

Here's the thing: as far as I can tell, the Boobla isn't really working on anything else at the moment. Not that I can see, anyway. He has mastered the art of vegging out, which he will happily do if placed facing anywhere in general proximity to the boob tube, sitting there, legs akimbo, eyes glazed, his mouth agape just enough to give him the idiotically contented look of the scripted-comedy satiated. It's appalling. I think he does it just to bother me, as a preemptive strike against my inevitable television-limiting ways. Even if you're holding him facing you, away from the screen, he will somehow swivel his head around, all Exorcist-like and commence vegging.

I relayed my concerns to the Dotytron yesterday, who took the Boobla upstairs while I was making dinner. When I came up, the Dotytron turned to me and said, "I don't know what you're talking about, he's TOTALLY working on other stuff right now." and I was like, "what is he working on?" and the Dotytron claims he's working on reaching up his arm to hold something you dangle in front of him. He then set out to prove this to me through a painstaking ritual that involved picking up a small, soft, shaky toy, tapping it against the Boobla's hand, raising it slightly, and generally enticing him. As the Boobla made small spastic, probably involuntary jerky arm movements, the Dotytron would place it close to his hand so that the Boobla could grasp it in his chubby mitt and more often than not, promptly drop it. It was maddeningly boring to watch. But! I had a realization. "So, basically, you have to treat him like you're doing physical/psychological therapy for someone who's been in a coma for 20 years?" I queried, to which the Dotytron responded with a resounding YES.

It is a testament to what a fantastically inept teacher I am that I totally forget that babies are tabula rasa. No motor skills, fine or gross. No mental skills. Nothing. You're starting from scratch and it's MY job to help him build up those grey matter connections by engaging in mind-numbingly tedious, repetitive play. Ah, so. It's totally changed my perception of him and his skill set and refocused my patience, which has been tested lately. Incremental steps. And if he still turns out to be a little bit of a dullard, well, he's my dullard, and I'll shank anyone who tries to give him a hard time about it.

In other words - I'm vowing to give the kid some space.

Tonight for dinner I'm making salmon & potato cakes with sriracha mayonnaise and a brussels sprout salad - steamed brussels sprouts tossed with dijon, garlic, lemon juice, olive oil and toasted pine nuts. I'll post a photo tomorrow.

Fin.

Grateful

Sometimes, it just needs to be said: I am surrounded by a rock-solid crew of insanely good people. This past week has been a little heady and hectic - still going through the grieving process, trying to get two assignments in (I'm missing my Saturday intensive class this week because of the funeral), working on the program book for the funeral, putting together a photo slideshow, and trying to find time to write a speech, all while trying to juggle the Boobla and do the daily life grind stuff of endless grocery shopping, laundry, cleaning, and admin. This life is too much sometimes.

We enjoyed a restorative weekend. Friday night we played dodgeball and I got some of my aggression out by turning into an angry dad mid-way through the game. I also left one of my favorite hoodies at the gym, which blows.

Saturday we headed to Mhui's house for a brunch with the work crew. It was so much fun - a grand total of 5 kids all under the age of 3 tearing around, a delicious spread consisting of: waffles, fried chicken, pancakes, baked eggs florentine, fruit, bacon, and pastries - it was insane. Just see for yourself:

I love the look Master T is giving B there.

We waddled home at 3pm, only to start prepping for a dinner party where the guests were arriving at 7pm. I took a lot of preventative Gaviscon to prepare. The dinner party theme was a southern feast, so I made a pear-ginger jam glazed ham, sweet potato casserole with marshmallow topping, a zucchini casserole with crushed Ritz cracker topping, deviled eggs, and pimiento cheese spread (which was DELICIOUS, although the Dotytron fingers this as the chief heartburn inducing culprit). For dessert, S made a chocolate cake from some Alabama Baptist church cookbook that featured Coke as an ingredient. It was delicious:

We pretty much laughed ourselves silly that night. Dr. Rei and Hanbo were there, in addition to our friends S & P and S & A. It was a good mix of people and afterwards, our cheeks hurt from sounding off on any number of topics, including but not limited to: Dr. Rei's newfound obsession with Sodoku, the fad you may all remember from 2003; how CBC's Marketplace is basically designed to make mom's go crazy; S's assertion that she heard about a CBC documentary on Toronto raccoons where all the devices we use to keep them at bay are actually making them smarter and they're turning into people; and how Hanbo and I are going to start a Ponzi scheme based on Princess Margaret Hospital lottery tickets. There was also an extended reminiscence on the McDLT and the McRib sandwich.

On Sunday, the Dotytron was an amazing prince and took the Boobla off my hands all day so that I could get my assignments done. The Dotytron is pretty awesome that way. He is also awesome because when left to his own devices, he'll go rummaging around the Boobla's clothes and come up with ridiculous outfits of his own devising. A perennial favorite of his is dressing Master T in a onesie with just socks, or his Uggs on. Sunday afternoon, I was nose-deep in my stupid Senate reform paper when I felt someone hovering over me, looked up, and beheld this:

We call this the "sure we will, Mr. Homer *cough cough*, sure we will" LOL! How cute are the both of them?

This is what's been happening around here lately, dinner wise. Friday night I made stromboli with spicy capicolo and spicy genoa salami, grated mozzarella, pesto, and roasted red peppers. Stromboli is basically a rolled up pizza. So you roll out your pizza dough into a fairly thin rectangle, lay out your toppings on it, roll it up, and pinch it to seal. I brush the outside with olive oil and sprinkle with sea salt to get a good, crunchy, salty exterior. This was delicious. I served it with a salad I cribbed from Tillers & Jen that they served at the farm - mixed greens, toasted pecans, chopped apple, chopped pepper jack cheese and a maple balsamic vinaigrette:

Last night I made us a brown rice paella with clams, fresh chorizo, shrimp, and squid. It was incredibly tasty.

It constantly amazes me how creative people are and how many tutorials are available online FOR FREE. Especially now that I have a kid and I want more DIY, less branded options that serve the dual function of allowing me to exercise my creativity and need for craftiness, the options are insane.

Chez Beeper has an amazing tutorial on how to make your own magnetic play set that I've bookmarked for when Master T is a little older. Genius! And check out these ADORABLE turtle icebox cookies courtesy of Diamonds for Dessert:

Wren Handmade made a gorgeous giant oilcloth placemat that I think I might copy - it would be lovely to put under the high chair when we embark on baby led weaning adventures and it would totally be worth it to splurge on high quality Japanese oil cloth. Check it out:

Considering I barely have time to knit before begging for sleep at 10:30pm every night, I'm not sure whe I think I'm going tohave time to do this, but a girl can dream, right? I am continually humbled by the creativity (and envious of the free time) of stay at home crafty parents everywhere. Also, look at how stylized their houses are! JEALOUS!

I'm posting the recipe for those Chocolate Toffee S'more cookies I made a while back as they were a big hit and people have been asking. I made only minor modifications to the recipe, principally to produce a bigger yield.

Fin.

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Chocolate Toffee S'More Cookies

Rich, chewy toffee-studded chocolate cookies topped with a gooey marshmallow-graham layer baked right on. Need I say more?

Dough

1 1/2 c. all-purpose flour

1/2 c. unsweetened cocoa powder

3/4 t. baking soda
1/2 t. salt
3/4 c. unsalted butter, softened (1 1/2 sticks)
1/2 c. granulated sugar

1/2 c. packed light brown sugar
1 egg
1 t. vanilla extract

1 c. toffee baking bits

Topping:

1/4 c. of graham cracker crumbs
1 c. mini marshmallows
1/4 c. condensed milk

- Whisk together flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, and salt in a bowl.

- Cream butter and sugars with an electric mixer until fluffy. Then beat in egg and vanilla. At low speed, mix in flour until dough just comes together, then mix in toffee.
- Shape dough into an 8-inch log (3 inches in diameter) on a floured surface with floured hands, then flatten ends and chill, wrapped in plastic wrap, at least 6 hours.
- Preheat oven to 350°F. Line baking sheets with parchment or silpats.
- In a separate bowl, stir together graham crumbs, marshmallows and condensed milk (the mixture will be very sticky.)
- Cut dough crosswise into 1/4-1/2" slices. Place 5 slices on each baking sheet (cookies will spread like whoa during baking).
- Top each cookie slice with a heaping Tablespoon of topping.

- Bake cookies for about 15-18 minutes, or until topping is golden and cookies are baked through.
- Let cookies cool on pans for about 5 minutes, slide onto racks to finish cooling completely.