the royal winter weekend

that wasn't very wintery.

saturday was a splendid day. i went to mccall's and bought a few piping tips, some new piping bags, and a mini-muffin pan so that i can make wee little bite-sized, mini cupcakes. then i met up with D and we saw "an education." i thought this film was over-rated. the potential is there for something more, but what you get is a slender little thing with a good, believable, though not truly exceptional performance from newcomer carey mulligan - the one the critics would have you believe is the new audrey hepburn, the next "it" girl, etc. etc.

it's the story of a clever, 16 year old girl in suburban england whose options for advancement don't extend much beyond getting the grades to get into oxford. after that - there's not much more, as far as she can tell. she's swept up into a glamorous world of smoking and paris and french music and jazz by a slightly seedy, much older man (played, to my delight, by my favorite squint-eyed sleazeball, peter sarsgaard) and is seduced enough by the worldliness of the continent to not question her future or his intentions. there are some keenly observed moments that result in some genial laughs, but i felt the analysis and skewering could have gone farther. the class issues and the gender issues, and the examination of a nation slowly being awakened from post-war, stoic staidness and facing the rollicking destabilization of the swinging, mod, cultural revolution to come - all of these could have been more deeply examined to greater effect.

instead, as our heroine's eyes are rudely forced open by the implosion of her suitor's lies, we get a neat and tidy montage set to swelling strings that puts everything back right again, nice as can be. the ending was probably my principal complaint. overall though, i feel like if everything had been tuned up a notch, it would have made the entire plot more believable (what are her parents thinking - allowing a 16 year old girl to go to paris for the weekend with a 30ish suitor?!?) and the document of a girl - and a nation's - transition into modern adulthood more compelling.

saturday dinner was lovely - we always stay too late at J & S's house - i always feel bad because i know they have 2 young kids and are running on too little sleep already. J made a roasted squash soup with gruyere croutons and a mascarpone cream and L made us a hand-rolled pappardelle in a braised short rib ragu with arugala. it was delicious! my apple brown butter tart was a success, i feel. you can't really go wrong with brown butter, especially when it's housed in a crisp, crumbly tart shell and flecked with vanilla, nestled in the nooks and crannies around tender, mellow, honey crisp apples. we ate the rest of the tart last night...that's the evidence above.

for sunday breakkie i made us eggs benny with this new smoked, english-style bacon the dotytron nabbed from the mennonites. it's AMAZING. it comes with a thick, 1" layer of fat all around - so delicious - it takes me back to the most glorious english bacon sammy i had at borough market in london, which was basically a pile of this same bacon, fried on a skillet and served on a soft bun, glistening with the sweet, smoky fat. i added some baby spinach to our benny, too - just to make things respectable (somewhat).

then came the royal winter fair! yesterday was a gloriously, atypically warm november day - the kind that gives irrefutable evidence for the validity of global warming. so we biked the 10km there and the 10km back along the various bike paths that run along lakeshore. as we were doing it - i realized that the ability to bike to the CNE in about 35 minutes, was one of the reasons i loved living in toronto and why i find it really hard to see myself moving away.

here are some photos from the royal (which, btw is INSANELY expensive - it's like $18/person to get in, and that doesn't include the horse show. considering that all you do when you get in there is spend MORE money, it's a little bit of a gouging - but i do support the 4H club and i respect that farmers feed families and that rural ontario is as much a part of my ontario as any other, so in the end, i don't mind paying $18 for country mouse to come to city mouse):





look at that BUNNY! that little face!!!

we went a little buck and ate like pigs, even though we had JUST eaten like pigs 2 hours earlier:

we split perogies, an octoberfest sausage, and cabbage rolls, and a potato rosti with sour cream and cheddar cheese. then we had a cinnamon sugar elephant ear and an apple dumpling with ice cream (not pictured). this is in addition to stuffing our faces with all kinds of freebies and tasters (shortbread, summer sausage, kielbassa, etc.):





i almost got a free walking stick but then i realized we couldn't carry it back. this sucked because i listened to the whole message before getting it. the message was about how jesus is our saviour and i have to welcome ol' JC into my heart to get into heaven (the walking sticks were from the association of christian farmers and feature color-coded beads that represented sin, heaven, JC's blood, etc.) so after the message (which was LONG, btw!) i turned to the dotytron and said, "okay, i get it, so we have to wash ourselves in jesus's BLOOD." and the guy who was giving the message was all like, "well, not LITERALLY, it's a metaphor" and i was like (in my head): why are crazy religious people so humorless? like, how can they not understand satire? then dude asked me if i wanted to get into heaven and i was like, "not really" and he goes: "why?" and i say, "i don't think it seems like that big a deal" WHICH HE DIDN'T HAVE A REPLY FOR CUZ THEN HE CHANGED TACTICS AND ASKED ME IF I WAS AFRAID OF HELL and i said, "nope." and then we had already wasted enough time listening to this message and NOT getting a free walking stick so we left and i tried to weeze more free shortbread samples.

we also sat down for the superdogs show but the dotytron at the last minute decided the he thought it was going to suck and be mega-long because there were too many kids there so we left and then later all we could hear was people going APES**T for the superdogs like it was the rolling stones or wrestlemania in there or something. which resulted in lots of: "i can't believe we missed the superdogs" ribbing which is really just an excuse to repeatedly say the word "superdogs." try it. it's so much fun.

then we came home after stopping by the dotytron's parents house to dry our laundry, whereupon poppa d told us that some family members have been wondering where their thank you cards are for the performance prezzies they gave us and then i felt like crapola. i thought we had up to 6 months to send them back but then i came home and checked emily post and etiquette and they're like, "you should send them out no later than 2 weeks after your return from the honeymoon" and i was like: WHAT THE HELL! WE MOVED!!! plus, i was waiting for photos from our photog (aka the dotytron's sister) cuz i wanted to send a photo out with the thank you cards.

so then i spiralled down into depression because i really make an effort to be ON THE BALL with stuff like that (and by stuff like that, i mean sending out cards - thank you cards, birthday cards, etc.) but things have been stressful lately and i hadn't gotten around to it yet. then i got kind of mad that it's all ON ME to do it and how that's totally gendered and annoying and sexist. you think the DOTYTRON ever remembers to send out a birthday card?!???!!! hells no! he barely remembers when the birthdays of his immediate family are! it's all me! i've got them written down in my four calendars. do you think it's HIS idea to send a thank you card for xmas prezzies? or to do up cookie tins for aunts and uncles? or give frozen soup when people are sick? so i dropped the ball a little bit on the thank you cards but SERIOUSLY?!???? we were MOVING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so it was a combination of guilt and feeling attacked and feeling like it shouldn't all be MY responsibility, especially when my crew (aka team china) isn't the one wigging. it's totally a white person thing. i just don't want people thinking i have no class or no sense of etiquette. i do. it was just kind of a crazy time in our lives and i wanted to do it right.

bah! anyway, the end result was that the dotytron felt guilty about me feeling rotten, so to placate me we ordered in pizza from a new place (bona pizza - they're good!!!) and watched the season finale of "true blood" and caught up on this season's "top chef" - which, incidentally, is AMAZING!!!!!! the calibre of talent this year is insane!

fin.

so maybe i was being a bit overdramatic

it's not as dire as it sounds. that was written after we showed up at the house and saw that all the chattels that had been housed in the rotting carcass of the garage was now littering the front lawn and the shared driveway. we're talking rotting, smelly wood, all kinds of old fridges, a giant sewing machine that literally must weigh a metric tonne. we had stipulated that the sellers had to empty out the garage or else we would try to hold back some of the money to offset our costs if we had to pay someone to move the junk ourselves. we were worried that they had obeyed the letter of the law but not the spirit and had emptied out the garage, but were hoping that the city would drag away a tonne of stuff on garbage day.

this was also after we met the people with whom we share the said driveway. they rent the house. it looks like a s**tshow over there. screaming, hacking butts, a dirty, messy, half-feral child. AND they've currently been paying the previous owners $100 a month to park in the shared driveway. the dude has a doublewide (two sets of tires!) giant monster truck. when we were there for the last purchaser's visit the wife came out and was all like, "yous the ones buying the house?" "yes" "well, my husband has been paying $100 a month to use the space because he can't park it in the street, see." i told her that we had a car too and we hadn't made up our mind but we'll have to figure out a sharing arrangement. then she started trying to push me to make a decision. heck no. i've dealt with enough neighbour parking nightmares...i'd rather work out a sharing arrangement...3 months on, 3 months off - or every other month, or something. we're going to need that space and quite frankly, we paid good money for that space.

before we moved in some of the neighbours were like, "well, you don't want to piss the guy off because he's a snow plower so he plows the street for everyone in the winter." i'm like, then YOU give up your spot to him! why should i have to?

so there was that.

the dotytron, bless his heart, spent 4 hours yesterday bleaching the eff out of the kitchen and going to town with borax for the cockroaches and mouse traps. i think once we're in there not living in filth it'll be a lot better. lil' ugmo just needs some love. once you have people who are clean living in a place the place cleans up. no food left out, maintaining a clean house...they all go a long way. and let's face it...we probably have the odd mouse right now in our current apartment. it's an old toronto home. what are you going to do?

anyway, i'm sure i'll feel better once the minor renos are done and we've cleaned and painted and our stuff is in there. and when i can start dreaming about my new bathroom and new kitchen and finished basement. the fact of the matter is, we don't have the money to buy something that's all done up already, so in the words of my niece's daycare, "you get what you get and you don't get upset." sage words. words that can only be made more reassuring with the addition of rubber gloves and industrial strength, bleach-based cleaning supplies.

last night for dinner i made us a corn, bacon, and scallion sauté. corn, bacon, and scallions were meant for each other and summer. nothing better. sweet, salty, textured...so easy and quick. i cut bacon into small dice, render it in the pan until it's crisp. remove that with a slotted spoon and add the kernals from as many ears of corn as i feel like denuding that night. sauté the corn in the bacon fat until almost cooked through and then add the sliced scallions. season generously with black pepper and a pinch of salt. i reserved some of the bacon fat and dredged tilapia filets in flour and then browned them in the pan. i also blanched some green beans and served them in a mustard-dill vinaigrette.

tonight we had dinner with H & J and sweet baby D. they're going to england! it'll be nice...they deserve a vacation. we came up with some new products. in light of the whole michael bryant/cyclist killed incident, i remarked that i wanted a lightsuit for biking at night. an LED one. the dotytron decided that he wanted one where the lights would make it look like there was a tiny man riding a bicycle...so the rest of the suit would be dark except for a tiny LED man floating above a GIANT (in proportion to the LED man) bicycle. pretty good, eh?

the thing with facebook photos is that you don't really get a sense of how a day unfolded...you get the snapshot commentary but not the whole thing...there's no room to be sharing the more intimate anecdotes.

when i think back to the day of the performance and the whole weekend in general, all the details recede into the general hazy glow that enveloped the time we were together in geneseo. if i had to isolate a particular moment that encapsulates what made the weekend so fun, i invariably go back to late saturday afternoon. after a week of chill and rain the sun shone on saturday with a vengeance - during the performance and after we were all veiled in a thin sheen of sweat. after the picture-taking, clothes-changing, bbq-eating, cake-cutting, family-talking and after the older generation had packed up and went back to their respective hotels to nap, change, or shop the malls, all that was left at my sisters place were the under 40 set.

my sister supervised little ze and miss ramona as they donned swimsuits and cavorted in the sprinkler. the rest of us drew names out of a hat to pair up for a game of bocce. the winners of each match would pick someone from the losing team to run through the sprinkler. at a certain point, that devolved so that one of the members of the losing team had to stick their face in the galvanized bucket of ice and ice water holding the beers. i'll always remember the image of dr. rei kneeling in front of the bucket with her face poised to dunk it in - even as we all tried to interject that we were just kidding (bwong: "uh, rei! rei!")! she stuck her nose in, in the end.

i'll also always remember trying to come up with team names. dr. rei turns to the dotytron (her partner) and says, "what should our team name be?" and they hemmed and hawed for about 30 seconds before s-dawg busts in, "UM...TEAM BORING, JUST SHUT UP AND PLAY" and thus they became team boring. hanbo (my partner) was super concerned about our team name suggestion (we ended up being "the kings" due to his unbeknown to me bocce prowess and my firmly cemented bocce champion status) and after that, became even more concerned that we should have nicknames. we settled on "money mercy" and "the sheik" (i'll leave it to you to figure out who was who).

then we all assembled by the swing set. bwong sitting on the too-low swing with his legs akimbo, hanbo leaning on the slide, the rest of us sprawled in various degrees of recline on beach towels draped on the lawn. i'll remember always the lazy, laughter-peppered, sun-drunk conversation and half-hearted games we play-talked our way through. i'll remember dozily napping in the sun, watching the clouds drift across the sliver of sky visible between the shadow of my forearm draped across my eyes. there was something idyllic and perfect in that moment. surrounded by my family and my very best friends, lying in the grass on a perfect summer day, doing what we do best - bind ourselves to each other through jokes, laughter, and talking - always the talking. playing that stupid picnic game s-dawg likes to play...it was effortless and natural and so very easy. and we'll always have that. that and countless more moments of love and companionship. that perfect understanding that can only be had between kin and friends so close that water's viscosity becomes indistinguishable from blood.

for that i am immeasurably lucky. that's the stuff right there. the marrow.

fin.

a funny thing happened on the way to the drive-in

...we got hitched! tied to the hitching post! we're joined in an unholy union in unholy matrimony for richer and poorer (even though i think i mouthed the word, "NEVER!" at the dotytron during the "poorer" bit) and in sickness and in health until we're parted by death (note to people getting married: vows can be a bit of a downer - there's some macabre shiz in there, friends.)

first: i can't believe that w.p. video of them dancing down the aisle has been taken off of youtube because of a "copyright claim by kevin heinz" - GHEY! so lame! why would you do that and be so weaksauce? are you trying to give me further ammunition for my "you guys are lamewads" thesis? jeez.

ANYWAY, this weekend was all kinds of awesome. geneseo, ny tends to be guaranteed good times but the dotytron and i love it SO MUCH that it was nice to be able to show people why. we got in late wednesday night. thursday dawned bright and sunny so we loaded up the car and went to wegman's and finished up our last minute errands. stuff like: renting an amp from buzzo music on main street geneseo (tip: if you click on the link, please do take the extra effort to click on "buzzo poems" - you won't be disappointed). buzzo doesn't usually do rentals but he was so tickled pink at our "rock'n'roll" wedding performance that he made a special exception. for your general buzzo trivia edification: buzzo also once won a wrestling match in guelph. amazing! he talks exactly the way you'd expect someone who looks like a grizzled veteran of the grateful dead to talk and he walks with the aid of a walking stick fashioned from what appears to be 3/4 of a magic 8 ball frankensteined onto a lucite bar with packing tape. he's kind of awesome.



after that, we had some spare time so i proposed a trip to stony brook state park for me and the dotytron. stony brook is near and dear to my heart. its a place that is teeming with magic. a stream fed pool nestled at the base of a towering gorge, public picnic tables with hibachis hidden amongst the dappled shade of tall trees, a concession stand selling fries and perry's ice cream, and a cedar-chip floored playground with all manner of entertaining things for kids. there's nothing better than going for a freshwater swim, clambering out and letting the sun dry you as you lay out in the sun to dry on a damp towel, happy and tired, alternating thumbing lazily through the pages of a book with dozy, sun-drunk naps with your arm flung over your eyes. i love the tired you get from being outdoors and being active. that fresh-air/swimming tired/cottage tired feeling. there's nothing better because it's so removed from your mind whirring. it's your body that's tired, not your head.

for lunch that day we had subs from aunt cookie's sub shop. now, i RARELY eat subs. i'm not the biggest fan of cold cut sandwiches in general - you'll never see me going to mr. sub or subway as my first choice. but upstate new york has a huge sub culture (heh) and aunt cookie's are THE BEST. hands down. it's so simple: a toasted wheat or sesame seed bun - ever so perfectly crisped so that there's the slightest bit of crunch and between the toppings and the soft give of the bread. sub bread at the chains is gummy, rapidly reduced to tissue paper pablum, but the stuff here is made for topping. and the meats, the meats! you've got regular assorted, italian assorted, just capicolla, just italian salami - a dizzying variety that manages to thrill while still being restrained enough so that your decision making processes aren't compromised. some oil and vinegar, some mayonnaise, a fine confetti of shredded iceberg lettuce, thinly sliced white onion, and some sliced tomato and salt and pepper are all you need to reach sub heaven. i could eat those things all day.


i made dinner for my sis and outlaw bro and family that night. something simple: grilled sausages, a corn and jicama salad with scallion aioli, and sliced tomatoes with basil and little balls of fresh mozzarella cheese, topped with olive oil and coarse salt.

the next day we did some more erranding - some small final preparations, putting welcome bags with rochester-area treats (nunda's mustard, dinosaur bbq chips, maple syrup), an itinerary, and some bottled water in our out-of-town guests' hotel rooms, laying out the tables in the tent, setting up the folding chairs, cleaning my sister's house and then packing up to head to the B&B.



at this point, i had put myself on a "no carb" diet in a bid to make sure i could fit in the 26" waist of my dress. there was NO GIVE in that thing and no extra room for alterations. it was still, "no carb" lagerfeld style, though. which means that on friday morning me and the dotytron had breakfast at the cracker barrel where i indulged in chicken fried steak and eggs, biscuits and sawmill gravy, grits, hashbrowns and a side of patty sausage.

that's the dotytron in his brand new, $6 buzzo t-shirt.

my sis & outlaw bro booked friday and saturday night at a B&B for us. it's a lovely place, the temple hill is, shaded by towering, verdant oaks in a quiet strip off the main drag. our room was gorgeous. we chilled out there and then went to meet everyone for the rehearsal dinner, which was a hoot.






best thing about having a tiny performance - everyone came to the rehearsal dinner! we had it at delmonico's italian steakhouse. the dotytron's family were totally flummoxed by american style serving sizes. "does that say one HALF pound steak?" "no, that's ONE AND A HALF pound steak" i could hear nany and poppa (dotytron grandparents) and uncle mert and pat (dotytron grand-uncle and grand-aunt) muttering about how on earth they were going to finish everything, what with the pork chop dish on the set menu described as "two 8oz portions of pork loin chops" i gotta say, you can't beat the value. the banquet/large group menu had a house salad, followed by a MASSIVE entrée and dessert! the desserts were HUGE! look at the size of the KIDS sundae! look at how happy dr. rei is!

everyone was in jovial spirits. a small group was also nice because people could freely get up and mix and mingle and talk to each other and it was a lot more manageable facilitating conversation across groups. of course nany and poppa ended up knowing the manager at delmonico's, who presented us with a GIANT surprise gift basket of all kinds of italian treats. it was so random! lol!

the next morning we got up super early and went to my sis and outlaw bro's house to do some final set up, before heading back to the B&B to get ready. we had a quick breakfast at the B&B and met this hilarious kid, hunter, who was there with his parents attending a different wedding. the kid was hilarious because he was so awkward. dr. rei helped me get primped and did an awesome job. she totally made my eyes pop and managed to perform admirable under pressure while hanbo took pictures of us being ghey because he eats that stuff up.








then we did the ceremony. it happened REALLY quick. i was kind of worried that little ze might be difficult but in the end, he took his job REALLY seriously. the dotytron played me down the aisle with a ridiculously over-the-top electric guitar to the tune of the "theme from top gun" and then the judge did his vows and we sang our vows, which was the theme from the tv show "growing pains" - here are the words:

Show me that smile again. (Show me that smile)
Don't waste another minute on your cryin.
We're nowhere near the end (nowhere near)
The best is ready to begin.

Oooohhh. As long as we got each other
We got the world spinnin right in our hands.
Baby you and me, we gotta be
The luckiest dreamers who never quit dreamin.

As long as we keep on givin
We can take anything that comes our way
Baby, rain or shine, all the time
We got each other Sharin the laughter and love.

the best part of that was that we filled in the electric guitar bits. with our voices. lol! then we exchanged grillz and kissed and trooped out to the sounds of the allman brothers' "whipping post." cut to: tuesday afternoon. dotytron calls me at work. "ummm, have you actually LISTENED to the lyrics from 'whipping post' before?" me: "yeah." him: "so you know it's all about how the dude's woman has been a skag and is floozing it up with some other guy?" me: "sounds about right."




we piled into our vandalized car and headed out to do photos. you can't tell, but there was a mysterious green lantern insignia that appeared on the side of captain save-a-hoe.


chowtime! the food was really good! dinosaur bbq runs a tiptop operation. the food that was supposed to be hot was hotish, the food that was supposed to be cold was cold, the deviled eggs and peel'n'eat shrimp were as tasty as they are at the restaurant. even better, they provide everything. paper plates, cutlery, napkins, wipes, serving utensils...you can just load everything up into a garbage can after and whisk it away and it's like nothing ever happened.


after lunch, most of the older folk left and the younger generation played a bocce tournament. we randomized the partners. bwong and s-dawg were team "ching chong ching", me and hanbo were "the kings", dr. rei and the dotytron were "team boring", and c-hova and outlaw bro rico were "booze." me and hanbo pretty much won. after that we kind of got the itis and we laid out under the sun on towels by the swing set and idly chatted and played random motivational games s-dawg picked up from the ted rogers autobiography.

the dotytron's sister got us an amazing wedding prezzie (in addition to being the girl photographer for hire for the entire festivities) - an antique door knocker engraved with "dotytron / lagerfeld" - BEST!

we rested up and then piled into our cars to hit the charcoal corral and silver lakes drive-in. that complex is like a warren of time-warp fun. there's an arcade, a room filled with rattan furniture and wood-bladed ceiling fans known as the "fiesta room," a wood-paneled pizzeria, an old fashioned ice cream parlour, a grill restaurant, a stage for concerts, chicken bbq on fridays and saturdays, outdoor seating, a GIANT bouncy castle, and a mini-putt course. it's crazy! the dotytron's sis fell in lurve as soon as she saw that this was a real-deal drive-in replete with oldies wafting through the air.


by the time we got there (6:30pm!!!) chicken bbq was sold out, so i had another buffalo/western new york specialty, beef on weck, so named because it comes on a kimmelweck bun (a bun flecked with caraway seeds and coarse pretzel salt). the bun makes it. it's rare roast beef sliced thin and piled high on the bun. i had mine plain (it was my first time) but it's best (apparently) with horseradish and mayo. i had heard of it in my travels but as i was contemplating the extensive charcoal corral menu, a little forlorn at the chicken bbq shortage, i mused aloud, "beef on weck? what's that?" and a really nice lady at an adjoining table gave me the lowdown. when i finally started eating the sandwich she came up and asked me how i liked it! so cute! the thing about my experiences in geneseo is, people are SO NICE. so genuinely, warm, friendly and NICE. there's no artifice. it's very sincere.

the dotytron and i were bickering outside in the parking lot at wegman's over captain save-a-hoe's busted calipers and there was a jolly fat guy in a biker t-shirt and his batik-muumuu wearing wife kind of being forced to listen and not quite knowing what to make of our display. the woman said, "i can tell you like each other by the way you're talking to each other," in a friendly way, and i replied, "i know! we're actually getting married this weekend!" and she came right over and pulled me into her bountiful bosom for a bear hug. it was sweet.

we played improv games outside of the screen waiting for the movie to start. we saw "funny people" (review to follow). it was an exhausting day and we went to bed tired.


the next day was my THIRTIETH BIRTHDAY. dun dun duuuuuuuuuun. i woke up, way too early, groggily slumped my way to the bathroom to pee, peered at myself in the mirror and FREAKED OUT. THE EYE FOLD ON MY RIGHT EYE WAS MISSING. my right eye had gone asian on me (see top photo for an example). i rubbed at it. i rolled my eye. i poked and prodded at it and while i could coax my eye fold back for a second or two, it KEPT DISAPPEARING. at this point, i woke the dotytron up, frantic. "MY EYE FOLD IS MISSING!" he was a little befuddled to say the least. at first he claimed not to know what i was talking about and tried feebly to convince me that both eyes looked the same. BUT HE WAS BEING A LYING SACK OF POO. then i kind of had a meltdown and threw myself face down on the bed and moaned and groaned, "is this what happens when you turn 30?!??? one half of my face turns asian?!??? this sucks!!!!! this is what makes me cute!!!!!!!!! i swear if it doesn't come back by monday i'm scheduling the surgery!" (asian people can get an eye fold cosmetically manufactured by any semi-skilled plastic surgeon). i know, crazy talk, right? after about 45 minutes of me lost in a 30th birthday depression, i looked in the mirror and it had come back. i think i was just overtired or something.

the dotytron gave me my "surprise" birthday prezzie. he made me a tshirt that said: "my two most beloved things are: 1) amens, all kinds; 2) 808s, all kinds" with my little happy face picture on it. super cute! he totally spoiler alerted himself though because a week and a half ago i came home to find a google chrome incognito window open on my computer with a map and address for a t-shirt making place on it. ON MY COMPUTER! lol! i was good though! i didn't give it away that i had suspicions until i opened the prezzie. he also gave me a voucher for a weber charcoal bbq to be picked out at a later date. dotytron's sister em gave me a gorgeous muumuu and momma and poppa d got me an awesome day of the dead apron and scrilla. so aces! i'm such a spoiled lucky button.


we went to brian's u.s.a. diner for breakfast. we were supposed to go golfing but it was raining pretty hard and we knew it would be miserable. breakfast was fun - again people were boggled by the portion sizes. then we said goodbye to the dotytron's family, my family, and headed back to my sister's place to loaf. dr. rei and hanbo went shopping but came back in time to see me presented with my birthday cake:



the lead-up to this cake was pretty awesome. i had kind of guessed that it was coming - the day before as we were packing up the leftovers i faux-casually said to my sister, "oh, we should just use the carrot cake for my birthday cake" to which she replied, "no, i got something from weggy's" (which i knew, but i just wanted to be sure. she's really easy to bait, being the anti-scheist and all). anyway, later on i mused, "i wonder what kind of cake you got me?" and my sister said something like, "you couldn't even IMAGINE a cake like this" which of course made me super curious. she and the dotytron were in cahoots. the two of them went together to pick it up and he kept laughing each time she mentioned it. it totally lived up to the expectations. lol! apparently the weggy's people were SUPER embarrassed to even have this design at the back of the book, much less make it for people of the asian persuasion. the dotytron even tried to get them to do a mash-up - they had some bride cakes and he tried to get them to combine the bride cake with the racist chinese people/miley cyrus scandal cake which my sis rapidly kiboshed. awesome, eh? i love my family.

a-mazing. then the remaining people sat outside and hung out and talked smack and the boys smoked cigars. we talked about our garbled understanding of french new wave cinema and how dr. rei hates the future and the apocalypse. lol! best part was when i saw my doosier nephew, little ze, starting to get a little crankers and i said, "i think it's time for a nap" to which he looked up, looked me square in the eye and replied, "NOT." lol!!!!!!!!! so funny! my niece was being super cute all weekend too. i introduced her to babybel cheese and she was quite taken with it. she took her role as grillz-bearer very seriously and was being ultra precocious on the day of the performance, laying on the compliments, "your hair looks pretty like that," "i like your dress," "i like your flowers," etc. the day before the ceremony when i was going through the timeline for the umpteenth time she kept interrupting me by raising her hand and saying officiously, "i have something to say" and then saying something kind of inane. at a certain point, she leaned over to my outlaw bro and whispered, "i think you should tell aunt lagerfeld that you've been married longer and that she has to listen to you." ha!




on monday we packed up the kids and took them to stony brook. we packed a pretty fantastic picnic, if i do say so myself. we had water, juice, babybel cheese (bonbel AND original babybel), spicy salami, genoa salami, ham, some other kind of italian cured meat, little roasted marinated tomatoes, baguette slices, little bocaccini balls, cherries, crackers, and grapes. it was a feast.

we also dealt with the captain's seized calipers issue. the dotytron suggested that it might be cheaper to get it fixed in the states, and i was starting to get super-concerned about making a 3 hour drive with the grinding noise we heard every time we applied pressure to the breaks, so we took it to a mechanic near my sister's house. they put it up on blocks and called us 2 hours later and said that it was because our rear rotors were warped and we needed new rotors and pads and new calipers. if we wanted to do it all, it would cost us $875 (USD) + tax. but, we could get away with just doing the rotors and pads for $400 and change. at which point i started hyperventilating and freaking out. the dotytron was of the mind that we should get it all done at once and they did guarantee the calipers for life. so i was like, "ummm, if they can guarantee the calipers for life, WHAT THE F**K HAPPENED TO THE ONES THAT CAME WITH THE CAR?!???"

i was kind of hopping mad at how expensive it was and of course this reaction was exacerbated by how little money we have now and how much we're going to need on our closing day. so i called the mazda dealership and i called a tonne of places in toronto (nothing was open because it was a holiday). i managed to get one toronto garage on the line who said that something like that would run 400-500 bones. CANADIAN. then i called another garage who said that it would cost $540 plus tax. so i had the dotytron call garage number 1 back and play them against each other. dotytron tells garage 1 that he's been receiving quotes from $500-525 with the same year-long guarantee on the labour and the lifetime guarantee on the parts so what's with the discrepancy, blah blah blah, and garage 1 puts him on hold to "crunch the numbers" and comes back and says that he can do it for $520. WHAT. THE. HELL. do they KNOW who they're messing with?

meanwhile, i've called garage 18 who's literally 4 stores down from garage 1 and just when we decided to go with garage 1 since they already have the captain up on the blocks or whatever, garage 18 comes back and tells me that it's going to be $340. gives me the breakdown on how much each part will cost and tells me that labour is $70/hour and it'll probably take an hour and a half but he's going to charge me for one. so we place a frantic call to garage 1, tell them to CEASE AND DESIST and drive it over to garage 18.

you want to see furious? try to screw over a chinese girl when there's money involved. nuh-uh. i am NOT some doddering biddy who'll roll over. this experience was educational on a number of levels. 1) now we know where to get cheap and good auto mechanic work done in geneseo 2) now i know how to deal with mechanics. you pit them against each other. make up how much you WANT to pay (average out the quotes and then go a bit lower) and don't EVER tell them that you're from out of town and want to drive your car back tonight. hear that, auto mechanics of the free world? you're going to be SO SORRY that i ever got possession of a possible lemon mazda protégé. your days of pulling one over on me are OVER.

and i will never go hungry again!

enough epic post for me. above is the rundown of my totally excellent weekend. i love my family. i can't say enough for all the things they've done for me. i'm blessed to have the BEST siblings in the whole freaking world. THE BEST. bar none. i'm lucky to have gotten such an amazing, warm, accepting NEW white family! they're kooks but so lovable. and my friends can't be beat. i was so happy to be able to have bwong and dr. rei and hanbo there, in this town i love, with the people who know me best in the world outside of them, all together in one place.

love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

fin.