A Banner Month Part 1

I think I'm going to spend all of July catching up on what was one of the more insane Junes in Lagerfeld life history.  That month was OFF. THE. CHAINS.

First of all, these nuggets turned the big 0-3.  Which is like, HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?

We had the grandmothers over for a twins birthday dinner of their favorite meal (spaghetti and meatballs and a homemade ice cream cake I made).  Guys, buying ice cream cake is such a rip off!  Homemade ice cream cake is the stuff that dreams are made of.  Chocolate cookie crust, a layer of chocolate ice cream, a layer of Momofuku Milk Bar's chocolate crumb, a layer of vanilla bean ice cream, topped with fudge sauce?  I froze it and then added more warmed fudge sauce after with some dollops of whipped cream.  It was SO GOOD.

We also went to an old skool jungle rave that weekend?  Just the two of us but we ran into our buddy Burton there and we had a good night of dancing to old skool hardcore music and early early jungle and it was THE BEST, although we were predictably wrecked on the Sunday.  We still pulled ourselves together and did things with the kids, we just did it feeling like a bag of a-holes.  As always, doing things that make you feel like people, even if there is the inevitable bag of a-holes backlash, is the only thing that makes us functioning parents and people.  If we DIDN'T do it?  I'd be even worse of a parent, guaranteed.

Giant useless disco ball at the rave.

 Peppa Pig birthday cake evolution.

On their actual birthday, I had a pretty brilliant idea - I invited all the neighbours and the kids on the street out onto the street for pizza, snacks, juice and cake, and then just leveraged the play that happens after work anyway.  It was AMAZING!  The entire party cost about $140, and that was $100 worth of party sized pizzas.  In lieu of gifts I asked the kids to make the twins cards and the kids stepped up and it was so, so, so cute.  I also made a Peppa Pig cake and it looked like Peppa and I mean, that's all one can really ask for at the end of the day, right?

I did the birthday "interview" questions and I wish I had recorded it.  It was so funny.

Here are Twin B's answers:

What is your favorite color?      White

What is your favorite toy?  The Rocket

What is your favorite thing to eat? Peanut butter toast and yogurt

What is your favorite movie? Wreck It Ralph

What is your favorite outfit to wear?  Thomas!  (Thomas Pajamas)

What are your favorite animals? Gorilla

What does Mama do for work? Treasures!

What does Baba do for work? Go to school

What is your favorite book?  Peppa Pig!

What is your favorite thing to do outside? Playing with my light sabre

Who is your best friend? Joel (neighbour)

What do you want to be when you grow up?  A Tooth Fairy

What's your favorite game to play?  Poop

What's your favorite thing to do with Mama? Poop on the toilet

What's your favorite thing to do with Baba?  Eat breakfast on the couch

What's your favorite special treat?  cake

If you could go anywhere, where would you want to go?  The dinosaur one

What makes you happy?  I like to cut up papers

What makes you sad?  Quincy hits me with the horse in the head

What makes you scared?  Pirates of the Caribbean

LOL at wanting to be a Tooth Fairy when he grows up.

Here are Twin A's answers:

What is your favorite color?    Blue

What is your favorite toy?  My crown (his birthday crown)

What is your favorite thing to eat? cake

What is your favorite movie? The King and Belle (Beauty and the Beast)

What is your favorite outfit to wear?  Diapers

What are your favorite animals? Horse and a cow

What does Mama do for work? Go to a minion tower

What does Baba do for work? Buy money

What is your favorite book?  Wreck It Ralph Christmas Story

What is your favorite thing to do outside? Playing with my light sabre and my rocket

Who is your best friend? You! (Mama)

What do you want to be when you grow up?  Ummmm...Dinosaur

What's your favorite game to play?  Having my birthday presents!

What's your favorite thing to do with Mama? Poopy

What's your favorite thing to do with Baba?  Pooping on Baba

What's your favorite special treat?  Having cake

If you could go anywhere, where would you want to go?  To Mister Stink

What makes you happy?  When the caterpillar turns into a butterfly

What makes you sad?  When Lenny hits me

What makes you scared?  I’m scared of spiders

LOL at "diapers" being  a person's favorite outfit to wear.  Also, a caterpillar turning into a butterfly making him happy???  So cute.  I know that both of their answers are influenced by external (read: older sibling) factors, but getting some insight into the swirling mass of confusion that is a preschooler's brain is pretty fascinating/hilarious.

The valley of tears, aka Kindergarten graduation. The Big Yam's teacher organized a ceremony, with little caps and diplomas.  Each kid had their own framed photo with them in a cap and gown.  Then there was a small party.  I went in late to work and almost cried my guts out.  I can't believe that this guy is going into grade one next year.  Like, recess with the big kids, no longer in the kindie pen.  IN WITH THE GEN POP.  How does that even work?!????  I hope he's gonna be okay.

We also went to see my outlaw sis perform as part of LuminaTO. The site for LuminaTO this year was a decommissioned generating station, the Hearn Power Plant.  It's on the east side, so we rode our bikes out there and brought the kids.  The Hearn was VERY raw.  My neighbour told me they put $60 million into it? Not really sure where the money went.  There was some space cleared inside for live performances, and art, but in between were piles of concrete and rubble.  It was pretty cool and I hope they can continue to use the spot in the future.

Big Yam's wedding pre-game routine involved playing hard at the beach and then solo-slamming back a bag of pepperoni.

And finally, those first two weeks in June culminated in my brother's wedding, at Deer Park Lodge, on the banks of Lake Huron, which is gorgeous beyond measure.  It looks like the Caribbean and maybe that's due to pollution and agricultural run-off, but I gotta say, I don't even care?  I mean, I do care, but also, not really.  Haha.

We arrived on Friday, mid-day and immediately hit the beach.  There was a pot-luck barbecue that night, and we hung with our friends from CLE.  The next day was more beaching, and then the ceremony, and then the reception and dancing, and we busted out the next day.

I still can't quite believe that my brother is married now?  I'm trying to put down in words what it means to have siblings, and it is late, and I am writing to fulfill my mum's desires for more blog content, and I'm finding my writing muscles have atrophied somewhat.  I love my family.  My relationship with each of the members of my family hasn't always been easy, or smooth, or effortless. Despite growing up essentially within the same set of parameters, we are all very different individuals, but what I love about my family is how, when external pressure is applied, we close ranks, salt the earth, and raze the ground upon which our aggressors stand.

There is a 16 year age gap between my eldest sibling and my youngest.  We are different people, with different values, and beliefs, and modes of operation, and yet.  And yet, there is nothing quite like having people to bear witness to your family with you.  Your parents can't do it.  They're their own thing.  Your siblings are the ones you get to complain, and reminisce, and enjoy your parents with.  That bank of shared memories, in-jokes, after-the-parents-have-gone-to-bed shenanigans...that's something that only your siblings can know and understand.

I was so proud of my siblings at that wedding.  I was proud of my brother for being an adult (not that marriage makes you an adult, but I think being able to put together a wedding certainly does).  I was proud of my youngest brother for being a good best man, being an adult, and giving a really touching speech.  I was proud of my sister, for singing a speech from the musical Hamilton and the two of us coming up with something on the fly to say (we were asked to say something about 30 minutes before we took the podium) and for being both a sister and mother-hen to us all.  I was proud of my outlaw brother, my new outlaw sister, and my youngest brother's girlfriend, for taking one look at our crazy clan and being okay with us, in all our unpolished, behind-closed-doors, s**t talking, occasional arguing, screaming, disheveled glory.  I was proud of my mum and Big D, for raising us 4 accomplished, bright kids, and not really having any plan or fixed pedagogy when doing so, other than inculcating in us the concept that family and honest are the most important things in the world.

I loved hearing my brother's high school friends speak.  I loved hanging with them at the wedding.  I loved being able to spend time with my family in this gorgeous setting and spend a long weekend relaxing.  When my sister sang the toast from Hamilton, one of my brother's friends from the audience called back the response.  It was so cute.

Fin.

Time Flies

...when you're hustling like a mofo.  Which I am, all the time.  It is exhausting and leaves little time for other stuff.

Lots of irons in the fire and I'm seeing some payoff for my preparation and drive, which is good, but it might lead to some hard choices, which is not bad, per se, but fraught.

WAS THAT VAGUE ENOUGH FOR ALL Y'ALL???

The past few weeks and the next few weeks until the end of June are pretty much bananas.  But it's okay, I've made my peace with it.

We spent the May 2/4 weekend in Cleveland with H & A and their kid, Danger.  We managed a 5+ hour drive there and back without having to resort to screens in the car, but we almost broke down (and by "we" I mean, obviously, "the Dotytron" who is ready to unleash the screens-in-the-car-kraken at the slightest provocation) on the way home.  The kids were cranky and overtired and I was driving and it was a bad combination.  I just gotta say: when I'm riding shotgun, I KILL the kid distraction game.  The Dotytron's methodology is very strange.  It involves near-instant capitulation, turning up his own music in the car VERY LOUD, playing one half-hearted game of "Eye Spy" and then asking why we can't turn on Eddie VAN Halen's DVD player.  At the end of the day, the point is: we made it.  My tips for longish car rides with kids success:

1) PACK SNACKS.  SO MANY SNACKS.  I have an emergency stash of snacks in the car, and before we go, I pack a snack container of a mix of goodies for each kid.  Each kid also has their own bottle of water

2) Try to do the driving around bedtime, if at all possible.  We'v gotten burned before thinking that if we leave the city at 3 or 3:30pm, then we'll "beat" rush hour traffic heading out of the city.  THAT IS A G-D LIE!  All you do is pick up rush hour traffic.  Basically, you leave the city by 2pm, or not until 6:30 or 7pm.  So, we eat dinner at home, get the kids into their jammies, and then pack up and roll out with the aforementioned snacks.

3) Depending on your kids' interests, pack some appropriate, portable, no small pieces entertainment gear.  The Big Yam gets some crayons and markers and a big pad of paper.  The twins get to hold a foam sword, conducting baton, or one of those magna doodle boards.

4) Bring music your kids like.  We have a Spotify playlist of all their favorite tunes, so when they get tired of being quiet, we play that for an hour until they invariably pass out.

And that's it.  We've never driven for longer than 6 hours.

We basically just chilled out, ate some food, hung out with their friends.  Went to some playgrounds and their Museum of Natural History.  It was very low-key.  Some snaps from our time there:

LOL at my cautious Big Yam struggling on this thing.

Three amigos

I made that toffee bundt cake from Baked Occasions but this time put a brown butter glaze on it.  It was MURDERATION

They took us to Eddie's Grill, which is this cute, old-timey place that serves chili dogs and fries and hamburgers along lake Erie.  I have to say though, Americans have no idea how to cottage.  They're clueless.

We tried Michael Symon's new BBQ joint, Mabels.  The brisket was delicious.  The lamb ribs were way too fatty.  The pig's tail was in this super-spicy, vinegary, buffalo-type sauce which was super-addiction.  Baked beans and slaw were good.  As was the spaetzle side and the beet salad.  It was tasty, but kind of expensive.  Not sure if I would go back.  Portion sizes were kind of weak.


Whenever we travel, we always come back and get Vietnamese takeout from our local.  It's a tradition.  We came back late on Sunday of the long weekend, which meant we had all of Monday to relax.  We spent the morning doing chores/laundry, and then grabbed takeout and spent the afternoon at Cherry Beach.  It was the perfect long weekend day.

This past weekend was lovely.  On Saturday, the Dotytron was at the Discening Coyote's bachelor party, and our caregiver invited my kids to her son's 12th birthday party at her house, I was on my own on Saturday night which was SO NICE.  I went shopping for a dress (in a REAL. LIVE. STORE.) for my brother's wedding, and then met up with Lolly and we had dinner at Lamesa, which is a modern Filipino restaurant on Queen West.  The irony is not lost on me that my kids were chowing down on home-cooked Filipino food and I was eating an upscale version.  The food was delicious, though.

Our appetizers, a crispy pork belly with papaya slaw and sawsawan reduction, and a tuna/avocado poke-type thing with shrimp chips for scooping.

Our mains: octopus and crispy polenta; chicken adobo with garlic rice (so good!); a charred eggplanta caponata thing with creme fraiche; and this DELICIOUS grilled zucchini with coconut zabaglione, and foam and housemade ricotta.

I really loved the vegetable dishes in particular.  There's nothing bad about a super-charred eggplant dish and the zucchini was delectable.  The coconut was so rich and light and the lightly grilled zucchini played so well with the ricotta.  I would definitely go back and it was a fantastic choice for gluten intolerant people.  We lucked out because it was a walk-by situation.

Then I came home and had my buddy M over to watch a movie as part of this half-assed Marxist film.

Sunday the Dotytron was pretty wrecked so we took it easy and kept it local.  We went to the farmer's market and hung with people we saw there, then came home and had dinner with Momma D, freshly returned from Iceland.  I made pizzas on the grill, which were good, but not great.  I need to get my grill hotter!  I don't know how to do it. They were still tasty, but the pizzas need a minute or two under the broiler to get the top browned (the bottom cooks before the top crust can get really burnished).

In other news, this actually happened to me the other week at lunch with my homies KD and G.  We were at Burrito Bandidos and because I'm really making a concerted effort to shape up, I got a "wrapperless" burito bowl.  I ate half of it and the rest was in my styrofoam container that I had closed up because I was planning on saving the rest for lunch the next day.  While we were sitting there, an indigent man had come into the restaurant, and rifled through the garbage next to our table, looking for something to eat.  He came to our table and asked if he could have my container of food.  I hesitated, probably longer than was decent (because I really wanted to eat the rest!), but after a pause, I said he could have it.  He opened up the container, looked at the mess that was inside (a wrapperless shrimp burrito bowl will never win any plating awards), and then shook his head and handed it back to me.  LOL!  It was kind of hilarious that he was hungry but not THAT hungry.  But also sad.  But also good that people maintain their humanity and always have standards?

I've been on this pretty disciplined weight loss regimen for the past two months and I've actually seen results.  I'm about 4 lbs off from my pre-twins pregnancy weight.  I run about 5km 3 or 4 times a week, getting up buttf**k early in the morning to do so (I'm up and around before 6am, ideally).  And I do gross things like start my day with a green smoothie and exercise portion control and log everything I eat.  I feel like I do this every summer, but this is the first time I've seen marked results, and I think I can chalk the success down to this: being kind to yourself.  That was the breakthrough for me.  So, if I have a bad day where I go off the rails on what I eat?  It's no biggie.  I try again the next day.  I don't sweat, or stress, or beat myself up over it.  Which means that the shame/guilt spiral of excessive overeating that used to accompany previous lapses doesn't happen.  Same with the exercise.  If I feel like not doing the full run, I don't do it.  I don't beat myself up over it.  It's working for me, this whole being kind thing, and I kind of like it.  If I know I want to eat ice cream for dessert (which for me, is I KNOW IT), then I just dial back on dinner a bit.  Not hating myself for enjoying myself makes a big difference, I've found.  It's just easier to dust yourself off and try again (try again).

I can't believe the twins are almost 3!  THIS IS UNREAL.  They're such little people now.  So much talking and being ridiculous between the two of them.  I love their little butts so much.  This week, Quincess woke up and barfed a few times.  He wasn't feeling well.  When Lindsay (Twin B) heard, he scuttled down to the basement to get their toy doctor's kit, and was talking to himself the whole time about how he knew what to do.  He then struggled to get the doctor's kit up the basement stairs.  He was so determined!  I was in the kitchen futzing around and Twin A (Quincess) was in his high chair and all I could hear was him screaming, "LEAVE ME ALONE!!! LEAVE!!! ME!!! ALONE!!!" as Twin B advanced on him with a plastic syringe.  So cute.

This video shows the cute little gasps that Lindsay does when he's excited about something.  He's such an enthusiastic little dervish.  He's been all over his "ice lollies" lately (that's a Peppa Pig reference).

Lindsay talking about his "snow cones."

This guy's morning hair

 

At one of our new favorite playgrounds

Outside all day, erryday.

Twin A is so funny.  He has this belly-laugh chortle which is so adorable coming out of his wee little body.  He also gives major teenage-style attitude.  "Line up your shoes on the mat!" Response: "I diiiiiiiiiid" and then he throws his head back and drags his body around like Paul Rudd in Wet Hot American Summer:

He also gets very teenager-y when he wants something and drags all the words into one moany-sentence.  I'm trying to capture it on video.  It's so good:

So. Much. 'Tude.

For all my friends who still have the option of avoiding this fate: don't drop off your kids/pick them up at school.  I don't have the stomach to watch schoolyard dynamics play out.  The other day, I went back to watch the Big Yam surreptitiously from the side after dropping him off.  He ran up to a friend of his, and playfully grabbed his friend's baseball cap off his head.  His friend whipped around, annoyed, and ripped the hat out of the Big Yam's hands and hit the Big Yam with it.  Then the kid turned around and continued talking to this other kid.  I watched the Big Yam stand there, kind of chastened, his arms akimbo, all awkward-like, and then you could see him trying to recover, so he asked his friend, "Are you Iron Man?" and his friend ignored him.  The Big Yam stood there for a bit more, before running off to play with other kids, and my heart hurt for the rest of the day.  I could barely stand it.  

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY

I know that I can't protect him.  I just don't have the heart to watch this stuff happen.  He is a very sweet, gentle, weird kid.  He's not great at reading social cues.  I mean, he's okay at it, and he likes other kids, but he's also very content to play in his own interior world.  Like, if all the other kids are doing a game of hide and go seek, the Big Yam will frequently just go off and do his own thing...he's not the one to succumb to the group propulsion to do what everyone else is doing.  These are all beautiful, lovely attributes.  I just want him to be safe in who he is.

This sweet little butt.

I also know that a lot of the time the view from outside is way worse.  That I'm likely projecting a lot of my adult psychological baggage and nuances onto his social interactions...it doesn't make it easier.  Can I just like, never drop him off and pick him up?  

I've been gently probing during our dinner time conversations, because I want to know about other stuff happening that might be bothering him.  I feel like we don't know very much about what happens during his day.  The other night, I asked, "Did anything happen that made you sad, or mad today?" He thought for a moment, and then his whole sweet face brightened up and he said, "Something made me so happy! Our butterflies hatched!" And then he went on a long, rambling description of the butterflies hatching.  Never change, Big Yam, you sweet little soul.

Dinners around here lately:

Oven roasted kalbi and bi bim bap rice with fried egg

Leftover almond toffee from making the bundt cake with maple bacon ice cream and mercury espresso ice cream (I have a bit of an ice cream problem at the moment)

Stew oxtail, squash, and spinach with a double

Quickie weeknight meal - brisket in the freezer, King's Hawaiian rolls, and broccoli

Soft shell season!  Breaded soft-shell po' boys with bacon and homemade remoulade

A veggie-heavy meal - tater tots (fried, of course), roasted aspargus, poached eggs, proscuitto and hollandaise.

Fin.