In the Still of the Night

This was the scene outside the window at 4am on Sunday.  The city was blanketed with 5-10cm this past weekend and as a result, plans were put on hold, excursions curtailed, and we got down to the serious business of consecutive weekend snow days.  This meant a weekend of baking, eating, Christmas movie watching, listening to Ella Fitzgerald's "Jingle Bells" (the Big Yam's favorite tune) on repeat, gingerbread house making, skating, and tobogganing.  Not for the first winter was I grateful for Lil' Ugmo's prime positioning at the side of a well-rounded park.  It makes it tremendously effortless to fulfil Norman Rockwell-winter fantasies.  I saw people pulling up on our street to park with their skates and sleds and all we had to do was tow the Big Yam to the end of the street:

The Dotytron got it into his head that he wanted to make gingerbread houses with the Big Yam and so prep for that occupied a big chunk of our Saturday evening.  Making the dough, rolling, cutting, and baking wasn't the most fun I've ever had, but I'm a gingerbread house denier (it's all part and parcel of my candy blaspheming ways), and to be honest, the Dotytron did most of the work.  At the end of the day, our Sunday morning looked like this:

so I can't really complain.  It was worth it.  Despite my protestations to the contrary, home made gingerbread and royal icing is way better than the store bought stuff.  In this way, the gingerbread houses are reflective of my general relationship to Christmas and the holiday season.  I know I swim against the tide in this, but I favor the experiential, the hand made, the time investment over all the disposable, bought crap with which we clutter our holidays.  Why are the holidays generally considered stressful by most?  It's because you spend time fretting over what to get for GROWN ADULTS who already have everything, with a deadline, no less!  How enjoyable is that?  I would almost always rather have a dinner out with friends and family, or get together and order pizza, or hang, than stuff.  Really, the one thing the Dotytron and I desperately want is babysitting vouchers.  Those are GOLD to parents.  Overnight ones are even better.  The memory of the Big Yam being scared of the Grinch, swinging to Ella Fitzgerald, and haphazardly plonking hot lips onto his gingerbread house is so much more valuable than getting him a bunch of crap.  

We made some pretty fun donations this year and I encourage you to do the same.  Thinking of how we can give in a way that meaningfully reflects on our year is pretty fun.  We bought an infant blood oxygen monitor for the hospital we delivered the Wonder Twins at.  We donated once again to Applegrove Community Complex, which provides an awesome drop-in space and parent resource centre for the Big Yam, in addition to serving seniors and teens in the community.  We also donated to Oxfam to help with the Philippine relief efforts, during the time frame when the federal government was matching donations.  

Another favorite moment from this holiday season - the advent calendar told us last night to "Read a Holiday Story" so I read How the Grinch Stole Christmas and then, because I am trying to fight against the forces that would have us believe that there is a "war on Christmas" I pulled out The Story of Hanukkah, which I bought this year so that the Big Yam would be a well-rounded individual.  I'm reading it and it's pretty grim.  Then I get to page 3: "For a long time the Jews lived in peace, although they did not rule their land.  Then a Greek, Antiochus IV, became king. He tore down the walls of Jerusalem.  Thousands were killed.  Anyone who lit Sabbath candles, studied Jewish law, or refused to bow to Greek idols was put to death."  At which point the Big Yam utters: "UGGGGGGHHHH" *exasperated sigh*  LOL!  So good!  He was so put out!  I ended up cutting the story short because he wasn't having it.  

On Sunday we had Dr. Rei and Hanbo over for an ultra fun visit that featured excess in the form of pizza delivery from two different places.  BEST IDEA EVER.  I made us the cheesecake that JJ & S always make which is the best cheesecake in the world.  Hands down.  I've never had better.  It's the creamiest, smoothest, richest thing balanced with the slight tang of sour cream and lemon.  The key is to under bake the s**t out of it so that it's all gooey still and not dry.  Dryness is the enemy of deliciousness, which is why I've never really loved New York style cheesecake.  Too dry!  I'll post the recipe below, so that I never, ever, ever lose it.  

This weekend is similarly light.  The Dotytron family Christmas party got cancelled, so we're hoping that one of us can take him to the Studio Ghibli retrospective showing at the Bell Lightbox theatre and then we're having lunch with Nany and that's it.  The Dotytron is off for the holidays as of Friday and I for one can't wait for more of everything we had this past weekend:  more couching, movie watching, quilting, knitting, skating, tobogganing, shovelling, present wrapping, cookie baking, and hot chocolate drinking with my family.  

Fin.

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Ultimate Cheesecake 

serves 12-16 (or 1 person if you're me)

Crust:

2 c. graham cracker crumbs

1/4 c. sugar

6 T. unsalted butter, melted

Cheesecake:

4 8oz packages cream cheese, room temperature (I left mine out basically all morning)

1 1/3 c. sugar

1 T. flour

4 eggs, room temperature

3/4 c. sour cream, room temperature

2 T. lemon juice

1/2 t. salt

- mix all the crust ingredients together until the crumbs are thoroughly moistened.  Press on the bottom and halfway up sides of a 9" springform pan with at least 2" sides

- bake in a preheated 350F oven for about 10 minutes.  Set aside to cool.  Wrap the outside of the springform pan in two cross layers of foil (I use the extra-long barbecue foil to ensure that no water from the water bath seeps in).  

- in the bowl of a stand mixer beat the cream cheese with the sugar until the mixture is smooth and a bit fluffy, about 2-4 minutes.  On low speed, beat in flour.

- add the eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition and scraping down sides of mixing bowl.  Be careful not to over beat the mixture though, you don't want to aerate it.

- mix in the sour cream, lemon juice, and salt on low speed.  

- pour the cheesecake batter in to the prepared crust.  Put the springform pan inside of a larger roasting pan and pour water around the springform pan until it comes approximately 1" up the side.  

- bake the cheesecake in the 350F oven for about 45 minutes - 1 hour, 10 minutes MAX.  You don't want any browning on top, and you want the centre to be just barely, barely set.  Even better, if the whole thing jiggles as one when you gently shake it (instead of the centre being really soupy and jiggly and the outsides set) that's the best.  Or like, a 2" radius in the centre being extra jiggly is fine.  

- take the cheesecake out of the roasting pan and cool on a rack.  Chill in the fridge for about 8 hours or overnight.  

- unmold the cheesecake by running a thin knife around the outside and releasing the pan sides.

The VAN Trapps

or Max VAN Sydow, or Gigi VAN Weasel (a real estate agent in our area), or VAN Morrison, or Bran VAN 3000, or...

IS IN THE HOUSE!

Which is all to say that we have begun our Odyssey with an Odyssey.  First we have to settle on a name.  The options are endless!  We went to test drive a vehicle on Monday evening in deep Scarborough.  The Dotytron handled the test driving duties while I handled all the negotiations.  In the end, we got this van for $100 less than the second van we almost closed on (the one that nearly resulted in a Dotytron-Lagerfeld divorce last Saturday).  Saturday van had 68,000km, 1 insurance claim on the Car Proof, but they threw in a set of on-rim snow tires.  This van has no snow tires, but only 50,400km, no insurance claims, and was Filipino owned.  This wasn't a factor I had considered before (ethnicity of previous owners), but our Filipino salesperson made a point of telling us - according to him, Filipino's take good care of their possessions.  When our salesperson went to go call his manager with our offer, I was like, "What's with the Filipino thing?" and the Dotytron said, "I never thought about it before, but now that he's mentioned it, it's true, and I'm glad he brought it up."  LOL!  Who knew that was a thing?!  To corroborate this dubious racially questionable anecdotal evidence, I do have to say that this van was in the best shape of any of the ones we saw.  The interior was immaculate, no scratches or scuffs on the upholstery.  AND I negotiated $500 off the extended Honda plus warranty, which brings us to 2017 or 130,000km.

I feel like I came out a winner.  Mitigating factors: the sales manager was off-site because his dad had just passed away (which I felt really badly about), AND our salesperson was pretty much the most wide-open book of all cracked-spine books in the Library of Congress.  He was NOT cut out for this business.  I felt bad negotiating with him because I could tell he wasn't cut throat at all and was in fact, too honest for his current profession.  I was worried about his future.  This was exacerbated by him telling us about how he wanted to open his own fried chicken restaurant (!!!!!).  The Dotytron and I nearly broke out in tears.  It was not a good scene.  I wanted to do right by our sales guy so the next day I sent an email to the dealership manager and talked about the exemplary buying experience we received and how I wouldn't hesitate to recommend the dealership and our sales guy widely.  When we showed up to pick up the car last night, he thanked me a million times for the email, so I feel like I've balanced out my karma a bit.

This is AFTER I fielded about a million calls from Kumar at another Honda dealership (the one with the snow tires offer), at work.  Kumar's gift as a salesperson is that he gets really, really, really, sad and dejected and mournful whenever you tell him news he doesn't want to hear (in this case, that I was going to test drive the same model, but with lower kilometres and no insurance claims).  He makes you feel really bad for any news you have to relay that puts him in that state.  It's a really cute and disarming technique - even if he DID tell me that those snow tires retail for over $1000 second hand when a cursory Google revealed otherwise.

The point is: we have a secondary people mover!  Huzzah (I think?)!

So of COURSE I've gone completely bonkers setting up my car emergency kit and making sure that I have spare umbrellas and flashlights and notepads and pens and hand sanitzer and lotion and wipes and the like all ready to go.  I can't even TELL you how happy that kind of preparedness makes me.  It's sick.  I also just spent over an hour looking at all season mats and cargo trays and liners for the car - I want to do at least as well as a Filipino when it comes to taking care of my vehicle.

Tonight's dinner was stellar - an open faced flank steak sandwich with blue cheese and baby arugula on roasted garlic-rubbed toasted pugliese bread.  Sided with a big, crunchy, cold, mint-laden Greek salad.  I loves me a Greek salad on a hot day:

Last night's dinner - a Greek style spinach and lemon soup with egg whisked in.  The recipe called for orzo but I used acini de pepe instead (teeny tiny Italian soup pasta) and it worked out really well.  It gave us enough for freezing, so that was hype.  

We ate a quick dinner last night so we could go pick up the car.  The car that the Big Yam promptly baptised with overflow pee from his improperly applied cloth diaper (the Dotytron's fault!).  Whoops.  The Dotytron was incensed, but I took a more zen approach (if you can call wasting two hours of your life looking at OEM car mats a "zen" approach).

Fin.

Ups and Downs

Oof, so many ups and downs this weekend - Mother's Day weekend no less.  I was by turns an impatient mom, a guilty mom, a yelly mom, a stressed-out mom, a spoiled mom, and a mom who needed "mothering" from my partner.

That car that we thought we had bought?  Well, we didn't get it.  Through no fault of our own.  We signed the worksheet the dealership provides you with and paid a $1000 deposit to hold the car.  The next working day, we made arrangements to send it to our mechanic.  Our mechanic thought the car was in dece shape, but was like, "Did you know it came with winter tires?" And I had remembered that this was something that we had discussed with the salesperson, but that had fallen by the wayside through the course of negotiations.   Our mechanic was like, "I don't know what kind of deal you've worked out with them, but you should really make sure the car comes with all seasons."  So I emailed the salesperson and said that our mechanic had "concerns" (without elaborating on what those concerns were) and outlined 3 options:

1) We walk away from the deal and our deposit is returned
2) They sell us the car with a slightly lower price, throw in the all seasons, and we take this $2000 extended warranty (keep in mind: the extended warranty is gravy money for the dealership!)
3) They sell us the car with an even more reduced price, we buy our own all seasons, and we take the extended warranty.

The salesperson called me incensed and said that his manager wanted to see our mechanic's mechanical report.  I said that our mechanic was under no obligation to give it to him.  He then said that we had signed a "contract," the mechanical inspection was NOT grounds to renegotiate the price (which he had said in our face to face), and that our choices were that they either keep the deposit, or we take the car and pay the original negotiated price.  I was all flustered, so I said, "There is no way what we signed was a "contract" - can you send it to my lawyer."  And he got all pissy and told me to "talk to your husband" and then call him back.

So I get all nervous that we're actually ON THE HOOK for this stinking vehicle (which was fine, really, but still, now it was about the principle of the matter) and start Googling and then I find the site for OMVIC - the Ontario Motor Vehicle Industry Council.  Their mandate is: "to maintain a fair, safe and informed marketplace by protecting the rights of consumers, enhancing industry professionalism and ensuring fair, honest, and open competition for registered motor vehicle dealers."  They're kind of like a WSIB for registered dealers and do some buyer-beware stuff for people who choose to do private sales.  So, registered dealers pay OMVIC a fee to be listed as a registered dealer and in return agree to maintain a code of ethics and standards.  You can file complaints with them, etc.  So I call them and explain the situation and the person I spoke to is like, "There's no cooling off period for car sales in Ontario.  But if you didn't sign a bill of sale, then you are entitled to your deposit back."

Now I'm REALLY MAD and I'm getting all Silverman on them. Here's the thing: I did my due diligence - how many poor rubes would be suckered into accepting either a loss of $1000 or a car they weren't completely happy with???  LOTS, I bet.  So I call back the salesperson and tell him that I spoke to OMVIC and that now my real issue is the fact that he wilfully misrepresented what we had signed and said it was a contract when it was in no way legally binding and that according to the LAW they had to return our deposit.  And he gets even MORE RUDE and says, "you want to talk about lawyers, we have lawyers here too, you know!" and also, "I told you that the mechanical inspection is not grounds for renegotiation!"  And I was like, "First of all, that's your PREFERENCE (that the mechanical inspection is not grounds for renegotiation)" and also, "that doesn't change the fact that you are in contravention of the legislation and regulations governing the practice and behavior of registered dealers in Ontario" and tore a strip out of him.  I swear, I nearly went into labour I was so blood-boilingly mad.  Now it's about the principle of the matter!  I told him that our options still stand and to give me a response by end of day.  He opted not to renegotiate, so we didn't have the car.

It was a pisser because we thought we were done, but then I realized I didn't WANT to do business with such a shadesball.  On Saturday we drove to this other Honda dealership in Scarborough - it was HUGE!  The buying experience was much nicer - our salesperson was much more transparent, was very calm, no attempt to upsell us, they have a shuttle service if you drop off your car for servicing, a tuck shop, etc.  Unfortunately, we were too far away from the price. But we did come away learning what a proper worksheet is supposed to look like.  No surprises there.  Then we went to a Toyota dealership but the model of the Sienna we saw is basically a hunk of junk - no features.  Then I sent the Dotytron to check out this one model that had just come into a dealership close to us...we came close to making the deal but then they wanted $600 more and I put my foot down just as the Dotytron was about to sign the papers.  It was stressful and I'm sure pregnancy hormones had a lot to do with me balking.  The Big Yam was frustrated with us being in car mode all day and was whining and crying like a mother effer, the guy we had coming over to quote us on a deck was 2 hours late, I was trying to make a decision about a car over the phone with the Dotytron and trying to get dinner on the table and the dinner wasn't working out - it resulted in a lot of yelling and the Dotytron coming home being super-frustrated and angry at all the wasted time.  It was a bad scene.

Then that night I felt so guilty about being so short with the Big Yam that I spent a good hour sobbing in a giant t-shirt on the couch about how "he's gonna hate me!" and what a bad mum I was.  It was rough.  Everyone has those days.  Everyone.  But when you're having one of "those days" as a parent, it's doubly bad because you feel guilty for messing up one of your only free days (a weekend!) with someone who doesn't get why you're stressed out and tense and is feeding off your energy and reacting and wanting attention that you can't give them.  It was bad and I felt like a terrible parent.  I just felt so guilty for wasting a day.

There's nothing you can do though.  You can't quit this job, so you have your fat, pregnant, hormonal, guilt-ridden cry, eat a billion slices of the cheesecake tart pictured above, fall asleep in a weepy mess watching Veronica Mars on DVD, and then dust yourself off and try again the next day.


The next day was much better.

We had eggs benedict for breakfast and then the Dotytron "treated" me with a morning doing what I like best: checking stuff off the to-do list and doing chores - in this case, it was all about satisfying my nesting impulses and getting the Big Yam's big boy room in order (putting up shelves, putting my FLOR carpet tile design together, tidying, etc.)  It's looking pretty hyphy in there!  I kind of want to swap rooms with him.  Our room is pretty nice too, but his room is amazing right now.  We're missing a light fixture, some accessories, and a print or two, but other than that, it's pretty much done.  I'm in love with it.  The color palette and everything is very Scandinavian modern.  It gets beautiful light and is airy and cozy at the same time.  Also,  I just want to take a minute and big up the $20 roller shades I got from Sears (custom cut to order, yo!)  They're slick!  AND ONLY TWENTY DOLLARS.  I can taste the savings!!!

Then we went to T & T and spent way too much on random stuff.  T&T is like our Shopper's Drug Mart or Costco - no matter what, there's no way we get out of there without spending at least $60, when all we went in for was like, some shrimp.  It's impossible.  For the record: Shopper's Drug Mart and Costco are also our Shopper's Drug Mart and Costco.

Then we came home and the Big Yam napped and I napped a bit and we had some down time watching TV and then the Dotytron made me my big Mother's Day dinner.  Basically, for the entire pregnancy, I've been craving fettucine alfredo.  Like mad.  Years ago, the Dotytron bought me one of those hand-crank pasta making machines that I was an ingrate and never used.  So he vowed to make me fettucine alfredo with HOMEMADE pasta for Mother's Day.  It was a running joke all week.  We even have high-end Italian imported tagliatelle that I was trying to push him on but he was insistent.

He and the Big Yam made the pasta dough and kneaded it.  There was an unfortunate incident where a breach in the well of flour resulted in egg on the floor and the Dotytron was a total neurotic stressball the whole time making dinner and was super into setting the timer to make sure the dough was kneaded for exactly 3 minutes, but this was the end result:

!!!!!

It was basically the cutest thing ever.  Most importantly, it tasted delicious, and I believe this will herald a whole new chapter in homemade raviolis and pastas at Casa Dotytron-Lagerfeld.  It was the best Mother's Day, ever.  The Dotytron done mothered me good.

He has requested for Father's Day that he be left alone.  LOL!  I can do that.  His Father's Day is basically going to consist of eating Asian food (dim sum, Congee Queen) and us staying out of his hair for a good chunk of the day.  

I can't believe I forgot to post a photo of this meal above.  I made us braised shortribs in an Asian influenced sauce of beer, garlic, ginger, and rice vinegar.  It was finished with some hoisin and we had it with soft polenta and it was sooooo freakin' good.

I've posted that cheesecake tart recipe below because it is so delicious.  I've been craving something akin to that Jell-O cheesecake mix thing - like what you used to be able to get at old style cafeteria-type restaurants, usually covered in a goopy blueberry sauce.  This was PERFECT.  So tasty.  We've basically eaten a whole tart in 2-slice-each increments in 3 days.

Fin.

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Cheesecake Tart

makes one 9" tart, courtesy of Martha Stewart

Crust:

3 1/2 oz. graham crackers (about 6 - 2.5" x 5" each)

1/3 c. whole blanched almonds

1/4 c. sugar (I might reduce this next time to 2 T)

4 T. unsalted butter, melted

pinch of salt

Filling:

2 8ounce packages of cream cheese

1/2 c. sugar

1/2 c. sour cream

1 large egg

pinch of salt

- preheat oven to 350F

- in a food processor, process almonds, sugar, and graham crackers until finely ground.  Add melted butter and process until moist clumps form.

- press the crust on the bottom and up the sides of a 9" tart pan with a removable bottom.  Set aside to chill in the refrigerator.

- rinse out the food processor bowl and process the cream cheese, sour cream, sugar, and egg until smooth. Pour into crust.

- bake for about 25-35 minutes or until the filling is just set.  Transfer to a rack and cool completely before storing in the fridge.  Unmold from pan before serving.

I served this with a mixed berry compote that I threw together - some berries, a bit of sugar, some lemon juice, cooked together until bubbling and then some raw berries folded in off the heat.

I'm trying very hard

...to give Veteran's their day, before EXPLODING about how the stress from holidays with my family makes me implode but ARGH, ARGH, A THOUSAND TIMES, ARGH!!!

This year, the Dotytron and I decided that in lieu of buying people the stuff off their "list" (and keep in mind, my family sibling Secret Santa has a limit of SEVENTY FIVE DOLLARS, plus what we buy for the parents, grandparents, and nieces, and nephews, and not including what we get for the Dotytron's side of the family), that we would put that money towards sponsoring a less fortunate family.  Any extra money would be donated to Applegrove Community Complex, which hosts a drop-in centre that the Big Yam frequents with his daycare provider and offers lots of great services to new immigrants, etc.  We're still going to buy presents for the little kids because I'm not so monstrous as to believe that Xmas isn't about children.

This accomplishes a few things:  1) it underscores the truly fun part about the holidays, which is really about eating cookies with your family and loved ones and seeing them and spending quality time together; 2) making us mindful of the rampant consumerism of our lives; 3) reducing the amount of misguided gifts that we often end up giving away.  Let's be real: anything that I really really really want costs hundreds of dollars.  I don't expect anyone to get that for me.  I actually feel icky about the need to have a pile of presents on Xmas morning.  It's weird and random to me.  

Anyway, of course (of course!) my family is balking.  Notably, my mum is balking.  And somehow, in all of this, I'M GETTING TURNED INTO THE BAD GUY.  Which is the most laughable part of the whole run down.  Like I'm "ruining" the holidays.  I'm not saying, don't do the family Secret Santa.  I'm just saying, I'm not going to participate.  It would be one thing if my family were also the sort to appreciate handmade presents - but they're not.  I've seen jars of jam and barbecue sauce languishing on shelves in my mum's pantry for years and years.  I've seen hand-knitted goods be worn once or twice and then never to be seen again.  All of these things represent hours and hours of my labour, and they're not appreciated.  No, STUFF is appreciated and that's the part that makes me feel icky.  Because there is no more precious thing on this world than TIME and to not appreciate the time that it takes to make or craft something is truly, truly sad.

The other issue here is family autonomy.  As generations grow, individual family units will start to make their own family traditions - separate and distinct from the previous generation's.  That's okay and an important part of growing.  My family didn't HAVE a holiday tradition growing up.  Invariably, we were on a plane on Xmas.  I think Big D bought us presents one year, and that was the year he first joined the family and was being all "cool stepfather trying to win over the brats he inherited" about things.  My mum has never bought us birthday or Xmas presents growing up (I'd say, from the time I was born til about 23).  It just wasn't our thing.  I'm okay with that.  It doesn't phase me.  It just rankles that a new tradition is being presented as set in stone.  Traditions grow and evolve and morph and change based on the people enacting them.  

Anyway, this is my usual customary holiday rant to say: I'm sticking to my guns.  In the same way that I think kids receiving piles of plastic, branded birthday presents is excessive, I'm saying the same about Xmas.  

You know what I really want for Xmas?  BABYSITTING VOUCHERS.  YES, PLEASE!!!  Or, let's go out to dinner.  Or make a time where you buy me lunch or I buy you lunch.  I want to sit and talk and eat good food and drink wine with you.  That's what I want.  I want to be able to have a night out with the Dotytron and not have it cost us double because we have to pay a babysitter.  Give the gift of time and thoughtfulness.  Give the gift of hanging out and building memories.  

I know, I know.  I'm such a pinko Mama Dread.  I can't help it.  It's even harder being a pinko, lefty, Mama Dread born in a family of POLAR OPPOSITES.  But I will keep fighting the good fight!  Water wears away the stone (although the stone might be me).

Sigh.  I promise not to rant about Xmas any more.  This has been freeing actually.  I might still try to bang out some crafty projects, but we'll see how it goes.  

Tomorrow is my day off! I have a pretty big slate of projects on deck.  Namely:

- make a sweet potato pecan pie
- make baked brie lollipops with my home made quick puff pastry
- make two chocolate babka
- make and freeze rugelach (dough is already prepped)
- make fig pinwheel cookies
- make Little Big Cuz's birthday cake
- get a massage
- grocery shop
- work on my advent calendar

:|

We'll see how it all goes down.

Tonight for dinner we had chickpea & kale falafels with pitas with store-bough bought baba ghanouj and tzatiki.  Kale in falafels = amazing.

Fin.

MINE! All Mine!!!

Treat yo' self 2012.  As you know, I've been kind of obsessed with satchels.  I've had my eye on the Cambridge ones, but they were a bit too rich for my blood (ASOS was selling them for around $215 depending on the color/trim).  Anyway, this week I stumbled upon an ASOS promo code and I decided to treat myself to a 14" Leather Satchel Company schoolboy satchel in oxblood leather.  It came to $130 (including shipping) for real leather, which I think is a pretty darned good deal!  I'm in looooove with it.  

I don't know what the difference is between the Leather Satchel Company and the Cambridge Satchel Company, but I suspect that it's the same difference as Uggs vs. Emus.  Same product, different name with less cachet, lower price.  

Other than that, my fall wardrobe buying has consisted of a few pairs of tights and some stuff from Joe:

I also got a classic two-tone oxford shirt from the Gap:

And that's about it.  I'm on the lookout for some black booties and a pair of black pumps for work and I'm donezo.  I feel like the booties will look nice with all the skirts and dresses I generally wear in the winter.

Fin.

Rock and a hard place

I'm stuck in the hinterland known as the place where my practicality butts heads against my principles. It's a bit of a pickle.

Because I'm trying to move away from extravagant xmas presents from siblings, outlaw parents, outlaw grandparents, and the like, I haven't provided preemptive gift list suggestions this year, as I think doing so would be hypocritical and a tacit endorsement of a system that I'm trying to extricate myself from. Yet, at the same time, I know that by NOT providing a list, I leave myself open to all kinds of well-intentioned but misguided items that will subsequently be sitting in my basement until such time as we do a basement clean and they make their way to Goodwill and the like. Is it awful of me? I don't know. I know you're not supposed to look a gift horse in the mouth and be grateful for the sentiment, etc. - but surely we've all been the recipients of gifts where we appreciate the thought and feelings behind them but can't bring ourselves to submit to the actual execution? It's kind of crazy how wrong people can get it, sometimes.

Anyway, so I'm torn. I hate the waste when people spend their hard-earned dollars on stuff that's just not me. But I'm not going to submit a list. All this pent-up frustration has to go somewhere though, and so here are some things that I adore.

Roll Call of Awesome:

BleuForet cotton tights. These are the BEST cotton tights in the whole, wide world. They're so soft and stretchy and warm - like the very best attributes of soft, thin socks and tights mashed up together without any of the thigh-cinching, waist-pinching aspects that can go along with tight-wearing. They are ridiculously expensive, so I can accept that all my cotton tights can't be BleuForet brand. The grey, prune, violet, and pine coloured ones are particular favorites of mine.

In the winter time though, tights are generally a good bet for me. Black, opaque, fishnet, patterned, they're all good and since I almost exclusively wear skirts and dresses to work, I'm always blowing through them.

I've been pining after this for a while. David Chang edits this kind of expensive magazine called Lucky Peach (well, expensive by magazine standards, I guess - it's $28 for 4 issues). It's a compendium of food writing from people and chefs I admire, all packaged in a cool, hip little bundle.

Other good literary-based gift ideas for me: Amazon gift cards so that I can stock up my Kindle, renewing my subscription to Entertainment Weekly for me.

Cast-iron cookware. I don't use Teflon anymore and I'm almost exclusively cast-iron when it comes to cooking nowadays. The problem is, that I only have a small, 10" skillet and while it's seasoned beautifully, as you all know, when I cook, I COOK, and I cook for a crowd. So a big, 14-15" cast iron skillet would be lovely.

As a daily fruit eater tired of retrieving bruised bananas and pulpy pears from the bottom of my purse, a banana guard and a froot guard would be lovely, cheap, stocking stuffer presents for me. So practical!

You also can never go wrong with gift certificate to my favorite stores: CB2, Crate and Barrel, ModCloth, Joe Fresh, Ruched, Anthropologie, Social Butterfly on the Danforth. PEOPLE LOVE GIFT CARDS. THAT'S WHY THEY'RE UBIQUITOUS.

I just recently started using this stuff after reading about it in the pages of In Style magazine for the past 17 years. I got a trial, sample size from my friend M and it's kind of changed my life. A little blush and a bit of eyeliner go a LOOOONG way with me - turning me from a wan, snake-eyed, sickly looking thing in the winter, to someone who looks robust and healthy and glowing. Seriously. I've gotten mad compliments from colleagues who are all like, "you look fantastic after having a baby!!!" and then you have to go and admit that it's all smoke and mirrors and it's only because I'm wearing a bit of this stuff on my cheeks. It's so easy. I don't know how to use highlighter or any of that shiz - but I can rub this stuff on the apples of my cheeks. I find it hard to justify buying a full-size bottled of the stuff though. It's like $30 for a little bottle of dye. That shiz just ain't right.

Sorry for the GIANT photos. Thanks to my gal, Mindy Kaling and her super-smart guy writer friends who helped contribute to her Black Friday gift guide, I've been hepped to Creative Recreation shoes. Look at those kicks. Just look at them. That's some fly, motherf**king s**t right there, folks. That's like the perfect Dotytron shoe. Uh huh. Hot. And they're hella affordable, too.

That's it for this installment of Roll Call of Awesome.

Fin.

Guys, I totally love the GAP

It took me a long time to get to this point, but I'm ready to be out and proud about how much I love the GAP. They're kind of amazing. I just bought 2 totally work appropriate and stylish blouses and 1 silk-ish skirt (also work appropriate) for like, $45. That's better than Joe Fresh prices, folks. Buying something full price there is a chump move, but the lack of chumps is probably what's contributing to the instability of the brand. The GAP is in trouble! They're not making enough money! What am I going to do if they go under (what are the chances that they would go under?)??!!??

The stuff that makes the GAP good is also what makes them vulnerable - the insane return/exchange/refund policies (ie. my friend G told me about how she bought her kids' winter jackets in like, August, knowing that this way they could "hold" the sizes they needed, keep the tags on them and then return the jackets and buy it for the reduced sale price in a couple of months - side note: they were advised to do this by GAP staff!!!), the crazy sales, the roomy dressing rooms and knowledgeable and helpful staff. Competition from stores like H&M probably isn't helping the GAP either, but lemme tell you, I was nosing around the H&M at the Eaton Centre before class on Tuesday night and that place is rank GARBAGE. The clothes are totally uggie and so cheaply made and everything is itchy and falling apart and to put together an outfit there (exempt from the garbage classification: kid's clothes and **some** accessories) would make you look like either one of the denizens of Grey Gardens.

I guess this is a plea to save the GAP and check it out and shop there. Or, if you're not going to do that, don't buy any of the Really Skinny Pants so that I can stock up before they go kaput.

In other news: my dodgeball team WON last night!!!!! Which was kind of a big deal because we've been getting our a**es handed to us ever since the season started. We totally needed a big win and we got it - all the more commendable because we only had 6 people show up and we 6 had to iron-man it and play the whole time.

In other other news, my academic book club selected Anne of Green Gables and Little House on the Prairie for next month's reading and those books are sick. They totally hold up. This is literally my 10 billionth time reading them both and present me finds them as engrossing and engaging now as 8 year old Karl Lagerfeld did, lo so many years ago. Anne of Green Gables holds up a little more - the story is fantastic and you gotta say this about L.M. Montgomery - the b***h could write. She had a way with simile and metaphor and description that is unparalleled - especially in describing the natural world. The descriptions of Avonlea, the changing of the seasons, the way the tips of firs look against a deepening, darkening sky are so plummy and evocative and rich that you could lose yourself in them for days. So too is her way with human emotions - the passages that describe Anne's feelings of loss when her beloved Matthew Cuthbert dies in particular resonated:

Two days afterwards they carried Matthew Cuthbert over his homestead threshold and away from the fields he had tilled and the orchards he had loved and the trees he had planted; and then Avonlea settled back to its usual placidity and even at Green Gables affairs slipped into their old groove and work was done and duties fulfilled with regularity as before, although always with the aching sense of "loss in all familiar things." Anne, new to grief, thought it almost sad that it could be so--that they could go on in the old way without Matthew. She felt something like shame and remorse when she discovered that the sunrises behind the firs and the pale pink buds opening in the garden gave her the old inrush of gladness when she saw them--that Diana's visits were pleasant to her and that Diana's merry words and ways moved her to laughter and smiles--that, in brief, the beautiful world of blossom and love and friendship had lost none of its power to please her fancy and thrill her heart, that life still called to her with many insistent voices.

"It seems like disloyalty to Matthew, somehow, to find pleasure in these things now that he has gone," she said wistfully to Mrs. Allan one evening when they were together in the manse garden. "I miss him so much--all the time-- and yet, Mrs. Allan, the world and life seem very beautiful and interesting to me for all. Today Diana said something funny and I found myself laughing. I thought when it happened I could never laugh again. And it somehow seems as if I oughtn't to."

"WhenMatthew was here he liked to hear you laugh and he liked to know that you found pleasure in the pleasant things around you," said Mrs. Allan gently. "He is just away now; and he likes to know it just the same. I am sure we should not shut our hearts against the healing influences that nature offers us. But I can understand your feeling. I think we all experience the same thing. We resent the thought that anything can please us when someone we love is no longer here to share the pleasure with us, and we almost feel as if we were unfaithful to our sorrow when we find our interest in life returning to us."

I can't find a better description of the guilt I felt immediately after Poppa D died when I found myself laughing at some antic of the Big Yam's.

Little House on the Prairie isn't enticing from en English-language, literary perspective. It's more like a written trip to Pioneer Village. This could be seen as either boring OR fascinating depending on your ideological leanings (full disclosure: I LOVE romanticizing about pioneer times.) I can't believe how different a time it was - how good Laura and Mary are with so few things to entertain them - just some scraps of wool and a dried apple for a doll. As my book club friend said, "Ma and Pa are my new heroes...if only my kids did their chores unasked, just for the pleasure of seeing me smile ever so slightly." LOL! It's all about Ma giving a slight smile of approval and that meaning the world to the girls. Anyway, the book is pretty informative, if your interests lie in knowing how log houses are built or if talk about "sizzling corn cakes" "molasses" and "fried salt pork" set your taste buds a lather (full disclosure: I mainly read the Little House books for the description of the food.)

Last night for dinner we had braised pork chops and apples, braised with onions in a mixture of apple cider and beer. Served alongside roasted garlic mashed potatoes (is there a more comforting dish on a blowsy, sleety weeknight than bowl full of mashed potatoes?) and kale chips.

Tonight for dinner we had spicy grain soup and grilled cheese sandwiches with the roomie, who came over for dinner.

Fin.

well, that escalated quickly

dearest readers...i bought a CREDENZA! and it is GORGEOUS! it's a gorgeous teak with a very dark, almost walnut stain. long and low, 6 feet long with both shelves AND drawers. it was a very fortuitous find and i'm absolutely in love love love with it.

i've been on the lookout for a long, long, long, time. i hate our tv stand and the stupid bookcase we inherited (it got left behind in a previous apartment) to store our dvds and videos (yes, i said videos.) so i've been trawling craigslist, various used furniture stores, ikea, looking for something suitable. everything was either too expensive, or not quite right, or overpriced (ie. craigslist - people overvalue their stuff like crazy.)

i was considering this piece on craigslist:

but i wasn't too sure of the wood colour or the leather top. it was okay, but not perfect.

this little number seemed aight...but all the way in etobicoke. and the finish was meh.

i had kind of resigned myself that i might get two of the ikea ps lockers in red:

this is an affordable option (although not really, if you get two, you're up at $260.) plus it has its drawbacks: the doors open only with a key, which means you have to either never lose the key, or keep the key in the lock and turn it every time you want to open it and access the dvd/vcr whatever inside. plus you'd have to drill holes in the metal to get the cords running through and i don't even know how to do that.

yesterday i did my crafting, did some light spring cleaning, then went over to help H move, showing up fortuitously in time to grab the last garbage bag...lol! some help i was. then i zipped down to queen east to see if i could find anything in the junk stores around.

i stopped in at one place...he didn't have any teak, but he had some walnut pieces (i like walnut too, i'm not a 100% teak fetishist.) they were too tall. finally, he showed me something that looked like this:


with a 4 shelf bookcase on top, the whole thing selling for $395. the credenza bit was only maybe 2-3 feet wide...and he was willing to separate the two pieces and sell the bottom to me separately for $225 plus tax. the finish was more blonde...i didn't love it, but i think i was in a credenza buying/nesting/roomie moving out so i have a proper living room again frenzy...so i thought about it and seriously considered it. then i called the roomie cuz she was in the area and i thought we could shove it in her car and be on our merry way. i went to meet up with her, but en route, popped into another store, and lo and behold fell in LOVE with my little beauty piece.

i don't have a picture. it's gorgeous. it has some minor scuffs and nicks...nothing a little go over with steel wool and teak oil won't take care of. it has shelves on either side hidden with sliding doors, and three drawers in the middle. one of the drawers was missing, the dude at the store told me it was being fixed. it was being sold for $250. TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY! i had just walked along a strip of queen east where similar sizes (already oiled up) were going for $1000+. so i snapped it up. i was in lovelovelove and it felt rightrightright. it turns out that the drawer is outright missing...but i can deal with that. i can slide the doors over to cover the space, or take out drawers entirely, put in shelving, and put the vcr/dvd/pvr (eventually) player on that. that's why it was so cheap. it's so lovely! i'm in total love with it. the drawers slide smoothly, and everything is in good shape. i can deal with scuffs...i mean, if the piece is from the 1970s, i don't expect it to look new. otherwise, i'd buy a reproduction, right?

i also really love these industrial things...but i figured i should get out while i'm ahead:




then i went by upsidedive to pick up a dress of H's that she had bought online. they're having a $5 clothing sale. i bought a $5 stripey, cotton, polo tennis dress thing with a drop drawstring waist for FIVE DOLLARS! i'm in lurve with it. it's grey and pink. i can't believe it was still there. it's the perfect beach/swimsuit coverup. then i saw THIS and fell in love all over again:

a chrome rocker!!! i sat it in it...it's pretty comfy...nice high arms would make it good for knitting. it's rare to find vintage rockers that aren't all colonial style...or the DAR chairs...i hate the DAR rockers (example below)...i think they're super ugly:

we're going back today to grab the rocker...and then i'm done buying stuff. lol! we're going to get some expedit bookcases to sub out for our mismatched, falling apart ones...and then stick everything back in the living room once the roomie is gone. i'm so excited!

ohhhh!!! i also picked up this little number at upside dive:

hi cute apple clock! why are you so cute?!? isn't it adorable?!??? i love love love upside dive. they're the best. they're a team of siblings (it helps that the guy is kinda hot! lol!) and everything is really gently priced and they're super nice and so close to my house! they're the ones that sold me my bedframe.

look at my crafting! my bread bags turned out really swell! i'm pleased...i especially love the poppy print.


this is last night's dinner. i almost poosed out and had us order pizza, cuz i spent about a million hours at H's helping them unpack. i hate moving but i'm a fiendish unpacker...i'd rather stay up all night unpacking because the sooner the new place is in order, the sooner my troubled heart can be at ease. H was ready to quit a few times but i was totally bossing her into finishing the kitchen. ha. the last few times we've moved, the dotytron has taken beer breaks and he'll come back and i've got two rooms done. i have the energy of like, 5 mes when i'm moving. considering how much money i spent yesterday, i decided it was prudent to cook. it was delicious! yummy tartar sauce, yummy fried artichokes, the arugala cut through everything, the shaved parm add a little salt and texture. and the fried lemons! i love fried lemons! i sliced them on the mandoline, peel and all, and then battered them and fried them and sprinkled them with salt. i could snack on fried lemons like chips.

okay, i'm about to eat a bacon'n'egg breakie and then embark on shopping with the dotytron hell. wish me luck! then goosetang forever!

fin.

nothing says long weekend

like a little saturday morning sewing machine crafting flex. what what! yesterday was a short day at work made lively by a visit from G, hubby C and sweet, serious-faced baby G. so cute! G is probably the hottest mummy i've ever seen. she's positively glowing - i guess no sleep is agreeing with her!

then i came home and got a bunch of little piddly things done. like ordering my veiling and another headpiece and sorting out the rehearsal dinner and trying to get more chairs from the rental place and calling disney to sort out some details. after that, we met up with momma and poppa d and sister em of the familia dotytron at jean's vegetarian kitchen for some veggie thai food and long conversation. we missed mother's day so it was a nice opportunity to catch up. i also FINALLY got to gift the secret knitting i've been working on for the past 2 months.

i made the ishbel shawl pattern (large size) in drops alpaca for momma d. it took me FOREVER. i started off strong, but then repeated screwups which necessitated having to undo, stitch by stich, 380 odd stitches in a row, for several rows kind of slowed my resolve. i've read of some people on ravelry finishing this thing in a week. those people obviously don't do anything but knit (there's actually a seemingly disproportionate number of knitters who are also phd students - go figure.)

readers of the blog have heard me rhapsodizing about the virtues of blocking, so i'm going to offer you a little pictorial evidence of its effects. block is particularly important when you're working on lace projects because the knitting gets all kinked up and crumpled in the process. this is what the shawl looked like after i had woven in the ends and taken it off the needles:

it doesn't look much like anything, right? a brief soak in some wool wash and tepid water and after being stretched and pinned to my blocking board, the next day when i unpinned it, it looked like this:

see? keep in mind, i'm not even that good at blocking yet. but magically, through a bit of coaxing and positioning, the lacy pattern appears from that rumpled, crumpled, kinked up mess. it's kind of like magic and it makes lace knitting totally worthwhile.

i don't know what my next knitting project is going to be. we're having regular knitting club meetings on wednesdays so i'll need a steady supply of work. i'm thinking of making myself the twilight mittens or some other cabled mitten pattern that's snug like the twilight ones were. i'd like to make something for myself for a change...maybe a cardigan? who knows...i'll figure it out.

today is an odds and sods kind of a day. i'm going to do some early morning sewing, trying to bang out a couple of quickie projects and refamiliarize myself with my long-languishing and neglected sewing machine. poor little lamb. then i'm going to be real neighbourly and help H, that guy, and sweet baby D move into their new abode. which is SO SO SO close to me! i'm so happy about that! walking distance friends are the best friends to have and they're literally just across the park. love it. i might go check out this used furniture place to see if they have any credenzas worth buying then do some light grocery shopping and come home and hopefully have time to work on the performance invites and itinerary. make dinner and bake a loaf of bread and the other usual to-do has to be fit in there somehow as well.

tomorrow is even more of a gong show...we've got to get up early, eat a nice sunday breakkie, then head down to harry rosen, the bay, and the hugo boss store to see about a suit for the dotytron. i met some guy a while ago who was trying to convince me (and half succeeded) of getting a custom job done but then common sense prevailed. it would be RIDICULOUS for the dotytron to have a custom suit, considering he has to wear a suit maybe 4 times a year. plus, the dotytron hates shopping more than anything. there are witnesses! he almost had a breakdown buying BIRKENSTOCKS in italy last year while dr. rei and i giggled away at how wound up he got. we might just break up over the whole suit thing. we'll see. here's hoping. anyway, a custom job is out of the question...we'll probably just throw down for something from the boss black label or zzegna. he's got other more conventional, man suits but i think it'd be nice for him to have something a little more european in the tailoring...slim lapels, quite fitted...probably in a dark charcoal or a grey. he has a black one, he as a blue one (that needs to be upgraded, but not just yet) so i think a dark grey is the next choice. and a new pair of regular dress shoes. and a narrow tie. and possibly a vest. the crazy thing is how EXPENSIVE men's clothes are. like girls can easily find a $20 top that would be fine for work. good luck if you're a guy. it's basically never happening.

then we're going to meet up with trevor d of trevor d custom jewelery to see about the grillz. i'm a little suspect but i'm not sure if that's because i'm being classist. i'm going in thinking, if it's good enough for dank of frank'n'dank fame, it should be good enough for me, right? right? *tugs on collar* eeks.

after that, the day slides into more relaxation mode as we get together with dr. rei and hanbo and bwong for some all you can eat japanese action up in markham. once we're stuffed to the gills we're going to head back down to our pad and watch some amadeus action. sounds like a near-perfect evening, if you ask me.

in other news, i'm seriously considering getting a masters of public administration or public policy...or an mba. doing the mba means i have to do the GMAT which i think means that i probably need to brush up on my long-lost grade 10 math skills. the masters of public policy or masters of public administration doesn't require the GMAT, so i might go that route. i really want to be a research officer and secure my place in the public sector somehow...and i kind of want to advance in my field too. a two year, course based degree seems like a good insurance policy to have in the back pocket. plus, i took a look at the courses...SNOOZE fest...i could probably do it with one eye half closed and my shoelaces tied together. the major deterrent is that the programs are hella expensive. the good thing is that a lot of them are geared to working professionals so they do intensives where you only go to class one weekend a month or something. i think with my MISt and an MPA/MPP/MBA that's basically going to make me super hire-able and eligible to work in a liberal think tank. possibly.

tonight for dinner the plan is to steal another page from paul kahan's book and copy a dish i had at publican. it's going to be fried fish, fried artichokes, fried lemon with tartar sauce, arugala and shaved parm. i'm excited. we don't have smelts readily available so i'm going to use a plain white fish like tilapia or halibut instead. it really doesn't matter as long as there's something crispy and battered with something tartar sauce-y.

i don't know if i'm going to bother making a dessert or not. i've been craving dessert like mad lately but i'm not feeling inspired to actually make anything. plus we're having key lime pies on monday at the bbq/lowkey chill time hangs i'm hosting.

time to get cracking.

fin.

quickie non-chicago related interlude

ANTHROPOLOGIE IS COMING TO TORONTO!

yesssssssssssssssssss! (mimicking the dotytron's reaction to the REACTABLE) i LOVE LOVE LOVE anthropologie! i've completely given up on everything but undies at urban outfitters. for the most part it's too lindsay lohan/nylon magazine-y and young tart for me. plus the quality of most of the stuff is crap. occasionally you find something cool on the sale rack, but otherwise it's too "wearing glasses frames without the lenses" for me. i can't do that. it's not me. free people (the other line in the same family) is a little too boho for me. too portland not enough so-cal.

anthropologie is JUST right for where i'm at now (aka gearing up for summer, when i want to look my most nicole richie-est) - i love most of the stuff there. some of it gets a little too retro-y, 50s throwback and some of it gets a little too crafty/piece-y/applicquéd in the free people vein, but most of it is perfect. that oh-so-lagerfeld mix of tailored, boho, and sunny california hippie, that i love love love.

problem is, stuff gets mad 'spensive. it's kind of a grown up lady version of urban and is priced accordingly. that's why i'm only going to ever hit the sales rack. sometimes you get mad deals! in chicago i literally had 23 items to try on from the sales rack. it was so plentiful! i got an anna sui smock-eyelet top, regularly priced at $158, for $29.99!!! (USD, but still!) what a scoop! they carry a lot of lines that i like, like anna sui and ella moss.

they also have cute housewares too! some shabby chic type drawer pulls and gorgeous latte bowls that would make fantastic sunny little accent pieces in any kitchen.

plus, the store is going to be on the east side of town! in a new mall called the "shops at don mills" which is at don mills and york mills which is pon the east side flex.

in other non-chicago related news...it's the end of an era. the roomie has started looking for apartments for her and l'army. she's probably moving out in june or july. yikes. we don't know whether to replace her or not. a new roomie would have to be extremely compliant, have enough stuff for their room and only their room, be okay with submitting to the meal plan and not filling my fridge with random non-meal plan oriented foods, and not have people over all the time (ie. either be content hanging out with me and the dotytron or go outside to hang with their friends.) also must be okay with cleaning the bathroom and never be weird about money. see? it's a tough call. the roomie was perfect. le sigh. i guess i can go back to the heteronormative couple-centric living that the dotytron and i experienced before...it's just nice having a friend around all the time, especially because i get scared being home alone. hopefully she'll find a place nearby. there was a PERFECT place (ie. we could see each other from the front porch) but i think the rental market is crazy right now and it was only on craigslist for 2 seconds.

anyway, if any of you know someone who fits the description above, let me know!

fin.