Thursday, May 22, 2008

F**K KEEPIN' IT REAL.

that's a choice quote from dr. rei in the midst of the mayhem, wonder, and spectacle that was kanye west's "glow in the dark" tour last night. holy eff, mofos. holy effin' eff.

doors opened at 5:30pm and of course, thanks to adam giambioneaione and his crappy streetcar vision for toronto, we got there late, of course (after yamming a delicious and long-overdue halibut burrito from burrito boyz). so, because of adam gyambeonee >and his crumbling ttc issues, everyone got there late, the show started late, so lupe only got to perform 3 (that's right, THREE!) songs, which we heard from outside the venue, standing in line while a bunch of pimply-faced entitled w.p.'s with no decency, grace, or tenderness butted in front like the jackasses they are.

can i just say that there were loads of hottie asian guys up inside the ride? and how much it warms the cockles of my heart that thanks to the wonders of urban and hip hop culture, asian boys are finally claiming their justified position as legitimate hotness? this is significant, because if this was the 80s, no one would have EVER pegged asian guys to come out on top of the hot game. i was as guilty of that as any kid enculturated in popular culture and living in the (at that point) predominantly white burbs. take THAT, long duck dong! take that john hughes! take that 80s teen flicks that warped a generation of women in favour of blaines over duckys and go nowhere losers with no prospects like john cusack in "say anything"!

all that aside, we got in, met up with my bros and proceeded to have the TIME OF OUR LIVES. actually, that's not true. n.e.r.d. blew the big one. they basically sound like korn (that's not a good thing). during the first few songs of the set, they have a dancer on stage, in a yellow hoodie with a ball cap on, who's crumping like C.R.A.Z.Y. insane, sick, pumped up dance moves. like you DUN KNOW. and the camera zooms in on him, he takes off the hood and lifts up the cap, and it's CHRIS MOTHERF**KING BROWN. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! me and my bros basically lost it, because we love "stomp the yard" and we love chris brown because we're human. i LOVE CHRIS BROWN!

then some kids jumped on stage and danced with pharrell. one of the kids ended up overstaying his welcome and had to be escorted by security off the stage. THAT'S why i never get up on stage (amongst other reasons related to oh, i don't know...the fact that i'm not that good of a dancer and don't like people staring at me). but really, there's no way to gracefully get off a stage, without looking like you're getting pwned, even if it's YOUR choice to exit. it's best to just not let yourself get into that situation. then pharrell called all these girls up on stage and told them they could stay if they were "hot" and "looked sexy". this is when things got kind of akon-y and uncomfortable, because the girls were like, 12 and they were doing the dutty wind and bar-top slut-bot dance routine, and pharrell was kind of being a pig and grinding with them and getting his face down by their butts and stuff. it was gross.

then ri ri came on and KILLED IT. killed it! i was on the fence before but i'm officially a fan. her voice sounds true, she's not pitchy, no noticeable support from a pumped up backing vocal track. she did this medley where she sang a bunch of reggae riddims, segued into m.i.a's "paper planes" and ended with lauryn hill's "doo wop (that thing)". siiiiiiiiiiiiiiick!!! we (aka my bros and myself) were on the edge of our seats thinking that during the finale, "umbrella" (of course!) that chris brown would come out and do his "cinderella" remix. I LOVE CHRIS BROWN!!!! but he didn't...but hearing "umbrella" live made me fall in love with the track way more than i did last summer, so i've been listening to it on repeat. according to dr. rei (as we sang along [as best we could] with our hands in the air): "this song is tight. you can't front this s**t" ahahahaha. I LOVE CHRIS BROWN!!! AND I LOVE CHRIS BROWN AND RI RI TOGETHER!!!!

then kanye's peeps spent forever setting up (he went on half an hour late). but boy oh boy was it WORTH IT. this is probably the best value for my ticket i've ever gotten. i mean, the amount of show that i got for $75 was insane. and i got to see four acts. the stage consists of a raised square platform that can ascend and descend. and this undulating, landscape that can look like either the surface of the moon, a planet, or grass. then there's a huge screen at the back and a smaller screen that rises and falls, and these weird lit-up spherical things. the "story" is that kanye crashes on a strange planet and has to get home again. the programming of the set was insane...starting from "good morning" and ending with the "touch the sky" encore. so sick! the screens were state of the art...and would project lava, a star field, the moon, clouds streaming across a crimson sky, and it looked SICK. even from where we were (and incidentally, the molson amphitheatre is really well set up for large shows...great screens, great sound, great view from most angles) there was also slick lighting, coloured flames, and smoke machine use. it was like a freakin' theatre production. multimedia sensory overload. the quality of the screens was fantastic...it was like some real-deal national geographic type s**t right there.

midway through the show, kanye does a performance of "hey mama" (that my friend G at work told me he rewrote after his mom's death) and then plays JOURNEY'S "don't stop believin'" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! journey and kanye!!!!! amazing! it was really moving and sweet, actually.

he was the only person on stage throughout the whole performance and he BROUGHT IT. as dr. rei oh-so-sagely said, "f**k keeping it real!" this was a real show. and kanye knows it too. he did this whole very typical kanye speech at the end where he talks about how he can come off as cocky and he knows he talks s**t, but it's because he has so much love and he's up there, when other people are saying that hip hop shows can't be live and showing people how it can be done. and how it's for us, etc. then he said, "you never know, the next president of our country could be here" and then he stopped himself and said, "wait, that made no sense, i'm not in america...i'm making this stuff up on the fly here" it was really funny. here's a review from "the seattle times": "It was a magnificent, thrilling, uplifting, sensory experience, unlike any other pop concert before it. West has rethought the whole idea of live performance, from the staging to the lighting to the overall message." so true. I LOVE CHRIS BROWN!

here's some youtube footage. sick. one of the best concerts i've ever been to. it was so worth it seeing my littlest bro with the biggest smile on his face the whole time, singing all the lyrics...and to have me, dr. rei and my bros with our hands up in the air at the same time. one love.





the best part was telling people at work today. K was nonplussed, but G totally welled up and got all goosebumpy when i told her chris brown was there, and M also wigged out hardcore with chris brown love. if i had known they were fans i would have sold my extra tickets to them.

I LOVE CHRIS BROWN!!!

tonight i went to duff's with some peeps after work. plus duff's is so amenable for groups and sharing. i really really really love playing with my new dodgeball team. it's so refreshing to show up and not have to worry about organizing people, or being the captain. it's also been good for me to doing something social with an entirely strange and new group of people. it's definitely pushed me outside of my usual comfort zone and i feel pretty good about it...once again, my social anxiety seems to be all in my head. i'm totally exhausted...i only got 5 hours sleep last night.

tomorrow is a big day. i have to work, then i'm seeing bruno latour's talk at that "future of objectivity" conference (they cut the position of student liasion so i don't get to flirt shamelessly [in an academic way] with him anymore). then i'm meeting my littlest bro and my mom and the dotytron for dinner at torito (we bought her a g/c for christmas that she's never used). then i think we're going to meet up with bwong and hit this dancehall generation party at thymeless where they're going to play tunes that have been sampled in jungle. summertime is reggaetime. brrrrrrup.

fin.

3 comments:

schmee said...

hold up... rye rye? from baltimore rye rye? shake it to the ground rye rye? as if she's touring these folks.

talk about jump from obscurity

karl lagerfeld, esquire said...

no no...ri ri is what the kids call rihanna these days.

dr. rei said...

LOL dude - best review ever...you really have a special talent for summing things up PERFECTLY!

I LOVE CHRIS BROWN! LOL!!!!!!!!