My last night of relative calm...

before we embark on the craziest weekend in all of crazytown.


This is my schedule until next Monday:


Thursday night: Kinton Ramen (new ramen placed opened by the Guu crew. yay!) with the Dotytron, followed by a viewing of The Avengers (yay!)


Friday night: softball at Withrow Park (so close! yay!)


Saturday: take the Big Yam swimming in Markham (yay!), then Costco (boo!), then visit with Poh Poh and my mum and lunch with my deadbeat dad's sister (yay? verdict is still out on this one), then checking out hardwood flooring (zzz!), then hanging with R & R (yay!)


Sunday: Ladies of my street dim sum lunch (yay!), friend's baby shower (yay! but exhausting!), then dinner at B & G's house (yay!)


Final (prediction) tally:
7 full-strength yays
1 medium-strength yay (cuz baby showers are EXHAUSTING. Plus, a lot of people we don't know, PLUS my ex-bf who I practically don't know now)
1 TBD
1 zzz
1 boo


I'll do a final-final tally post-weekend.  We'll see how things compared.


What I really want to be doing is building this kid misty-tent sprayer thing this weekend:

So bada**!  The tutorial is here.  It's just PVC pipe that you hook your hose up to.  If it turns out, I'm basically going to want to live under that this summer.  It's like the Coke tent at Wonderland/every summer rave I've ever been to, but ALL THE TIME!  Although now I'm reading that maybe we should try a PVC-free alternative...maybe PEX.  It's not supposed to be that hot this weekend, so I can hold off.


Another thing I want to get: SKY LANTERNS.  So much fun!  Look:

I think it'd be fun to get them for the neighbourhood kids and adults for Canada Day or something.  I know I keep saying it, but: I LOVE MY 'HOOD!  We missed it this year because we were in Geneseo, but all the adults pooled their money and bought fireworks and went to the park and lit them.  So much fun!  So cute!


In other news, look at my peony!

My garden is killin' it this year.  Here's a sideways picture to prove it:

And here's a random photo from last Friday of the roomie, ready to pop, and the Big Yam:

So, so cute!


I've been reading a tonne lately.  Here are some book reviews:

Gabriel Bá and Fábio Moon are brother comic authors from Brazil.  Daytripper si about a man who writes newspaper obituaries for other people, reflecting on his own life.  It is dreamlike and ruminative - the story asks you to wonder what events, memories, actions, make you you.  It asks you to think about the act of taking stock and tallying up what makes a life a life.  I loved it.  It's beautiful and the pictures are simultaneously sharp and hazy, alive and slithering with the energy of Brazil.  

Well, as you can see from the cover, Vera Brosgol's Anya's Ghost is heralded as a masterpiece by none other than Neil Gaiman.  I for one, am not a Neil Gaiman fan.  Just not my steeze.  This is a gothic horror comic set in contemporary times which follows a teenaged Eastern European girl who comes across a ghost who may not be all that she claims.  I liked the pictures, but the story felt slight to me.

Daniel Clowes (of Ghost World fame) wrote and illustrated Mister Wonderful which is touted as "a love story" but which is a modern, complicated version of that well-trod trope.  It's about a man who's long divorced and is dating - basically, about a schlub (a well-trodden Clowes trope), who is neurotic and self-loathing trying to find middle-aged love.  It was pretty cute and okay.  I really love Clowes' illustration style.  It's so iconic.  

This.  This is staggeringly good.  This is bring-you-to-your-knees good.  This is highlight-every-passage good writing.  Jeannette Winterson is a well-known British lesbian feminist author (I mention all those subject identities because they inform their work, not to be salacious).  I've read a couple of her books.  Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal? is her memoir, an account of what it was like growing up adopted by an ultra-religious depressive parent in working-class northern England.  It is also about Winterson's struggles to carve a place for herself amidst the tabula rasa of her own adoption, of the events that made her the author she is today (many, many hours spent reading "English Literature from A-Z" in the public library).  She is an erudite, evocative, gifted writer who is at once funny, wry, warm, open, and reflexive.  It's everything you want a memoir to be.  She wrote it in real time, in the sense that as the memories came back she recorded them and the events of the present - in this way, you journey along with her as she goes through her spells of depression/madness and comes out the other side.  It is funny and smart and moving.  I can't recommend this enough.  If you're into memoirs.  My Academic Book Club chose this (at my suggestion - someone wanted a memoir) and we're meant to read it alongside Alison Bechdel's Fun Home (which I had read when it first came out), which is her comic memoir of growing up in a funeral home and coming to terms with her closeted homosexual father's untimely death (likely a suicide.)  Bechdel recently released a new memoir, Are You My Mother?, which talks about her relationship with her mother and is receiving rapturously good reviews from the NYTimes, etc.  I'm chomping at the bit to get my hands on it, but for some reason, TPL is dragging it's feet.

Monday night's dinner of slow cooker thai coconut curry soup with rice noodles.  Easy!  I'll post the recipe tomorrow.

A flash of inspiration had me create this dish - a riff on all the Asian mashup cuisine that's so popular nowadays.  These are pork and beef kalbi burgers with pickled cucumber (rice vinegar, sugar, sliced red onion and togarashi) and kimchi mayonnaise.  It was a good first try, but all the flavours could be pumped up a bit.  We ate it with grill-roasted asparagus.

Wish us luck getting into Kinton tomorrow night so I can post a full review!!!

Fin.

Silencio

It's been mad silencio from me lately because I've been a sick, sick dog.  Sore throat, chills, generally not being able to face life.  It's been a no good scene.


And yet!  I have so much to say!  Like, regarding the student protests in Quebec, I have this: IS YOU TWEAKING?!?   Tuition increases at $325 over 5 years was reasonable, $250 over 5 years was a gift.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?  So are you telling me that all those protesting students have never learned the concept of INFLATION?!?  Why shouldn't your tuition ever go up?  Look: I was an idealistic university student once (I'm a slightly less idealistic university student now, technically), but even then, I was pretty rational.  But I get that it's easy to get kids all riled up.  And that they're now probably high from the carnival-esque interstitial/liminal space-ness of it all and the the fact that this generation is converging around a topic IN THE FLESH instead of "liking" something on Facebook.  I get that.  But, I don't think that education is "free."  Nothing is free.  You're just not the one paying for it.  If the choice is education or less healthcare, I will pick education.  As the roomie said, the Canadian government actually made it very easy for her, as someone with very low socio-economic standing, to take out loans, get 2 degrees, and pay back her student debt with a modicum of sacrifice on her part.  The roomie hasn't sacrificed.  Does she own the latest and greatest of everything? No.  But she was able to take trips, she has a car, it's not like it was hand-to-mouth to pay back her student loans.  And, more importantly, she was ACUTELY aware of how much her education was costing her and took it very seriously.  I know, because she stayed behind so many Friday nights in undergrad and wouldn't come to the Trasheteria with us because she wanted to study and make sure she earned the grades to get where she wanted to go.


Is there a problem with the funding model that allows the majority of funding to stream towards specific disciplines (like engineering, etc.)?  Yes.  But at the same time, someone pursuing a doctorate in philosophy doesn't have nearly the same research costs (hiring grad students, transportation costs, access to labs, equipment, etc.) as other disciplines.


I am not unsympathetic.  I believe that Charest was the biggest dummy in all of the land (seriously, who are his advisors?!?) when he passed the bill holding student organizations accountable for the actions of protesting members and otherwise limiting civil democratic liberties.  So dumb!!!


I'm reading Jeannette Winterson's stunning, beautiful memoir, Why be happy when you could be normal? at the moment and she says this (on the subject of voting for Thatcher):


"I did not realise that when money becomes the core value, then education drives towards utility or that the life of the mind will not be counted as a good unless it produces measurable results."


Without the unmeasurable results of the work of my heroes, I wouldn't be where I am today.  I accept that.  But I also accept that secondary school tuition isn't going to be free, ever and that it will likely have to go up. The rate of the increase proposed in Quebec seems well within the realm of reasonable, to me.


This weekend was crazy...but I don't really see that pattern changing for the next foreseeable, oh, 20 years.  Hahahahahaha...*sobs*  Friday night I skipped out on our softball season opener to hang with the roomie and be sick.  We had a nice time.  We ate steak with Greek salad and walked around and hit one of the fun fairs at a school close to Lil' Ugmo.  Uhhhh...school fun fairs are the new warehouse rave.  It's mental!!!  They had a giant bouncy slide, face painting, a bouncy fire truck thing, an obstacle course...and an ice cream truck.  The Big Yam was ONLY interested in the ice cream truck, in so far as he was able to get really close to it and walk around it.  It blew his mind.  There is something indescribably cute about the sense of wonder/joy on a kid's face when they're marveling over something that you thing is rather mundane.  He kept walking up really close to the truck and stopping, and looking at his reflection in the reflective metal bit, and then looking over at me and the roomie with a big, goofy grin on his face, totally in AWE of how close to a truck he got.  It was pretty adorbs.


Saturday was a day spent erranding and cleaning in preparation for having Lolly & T and SMcKay and her FroYo King over for dinner.  I wasn't feeling up to it, to be honest, but I rallied.  We also set up our window unit air conditioners, and not a moment too soon, since it's supposed to be THIRTY SIX DEGREES TODAY.  Lordy.  SMcKay and Lolls brought salad, an appetizer, chips, and roasted asparagus, and I made us prime rib, roasted garlic mashed potatoes, and yorkshire puddings.  I also made us eton mess for dessert.  I loooove eton mess.  I made meringues and then crumbled them and layered them with stewed rhubarb mixed with fresh slices of the first of the Ontario strawberries and whipped cream.  Sooo good.  I can eat that dessert all day.


Sunday we went to T&T during the day and then met up with Dr. Rei who was going to watch the Boobla while we saw Momma D's choir perform with this volunteer orchestra at the Toronto Concert Theatre.  The orchestra was *pretty* good.  In a sign of how unremittingly immature I am, I turned to the Dotytron: "Do my eyes deceive me?  Is that a lady conductor?!  Now I've seen everything!"  But in all honesty, I wasn't a fan of lady conductor's style.  She had this weird limp non-baton hand going that was kind of distracting.  The orchestra is made up of people who are, I'm guessing, semi-pros, but there were a few tuning issues (they played Beethoven's 9th).  After the performance ended, I asked the Dotytron, "What was that high-pitched screaming sound?" and he started laughing and said, "The piccolo was having some issues. It's a hard instrument to control."  LOL!  Something about some poor sod trying to wrestle a piccolo into submission with the result being a piccolo that's overshadowing an orchestra with a train-type whistle/scream is hilarious.


Then we rewarded Dr. Rei for her babysitting services with a trip to Phoenix where we feasted on a Phoenix "greatest hits" meal of: Hainan chicken rice, pork chop sandwich, ox tongue spaghetti with tomato sauce, Malaysian beef brisket curry, and this Korean pork rice bowl thing.  AND we got a black sesame ice cream crepe.  AND Dr. Rei got her indulge her taste for a hot Ovaltine.  It's pretty much the perfect restaurant.  We drove home and chiefed it up with the neighbs for a good long bit.  


I've said it before and I'll say it again: I love love love my 'hood.  We've got a ladies-of-the-street dim sum brunch planned.  We're doing a street sale, a street party, and there's talk of everyone going camping together this summer.  Cutest!!!  


Here are some weekend snaps (mostly food):

This Harajuku Lover's kid's line for Target t-shirt was the find of our trip to Geneseo.  Look how cute it looks!!!  Sweet little Lion of Zion.

Thursday night's dinner was a fig, Cashel blue cheese & bacon lardon tart 

Steak & Greek salad 

 

Yorkshire, prime rib, mashed potatoes, jus, asparagus, and strawberry rhubarb eton mess.

Fin.

This is a sponsored post

Because my mum is nothing if not a raging egomaniac, she chastised me recently in email format for not mentioning that she got to meet HRH Prince Charles and whatever-her-title-is Camilla during their royal tour of Toronto.


So there, I mentioned it!  No really, it was kind of a big deal.  And mum, for the record, I brag about you all the time to my colleagues at work.  I bragged when she won a Woman of Distinction Award from the Ontario Women's Directorate, I brag that she's so active in the Scarborough community, I brag about her being a lawyer with her own practice, I brag about her being on the board of the Trillium Gift of Life board, and I did brag about her meeting Chuck and Cammy.  I WAS worried that my mum, who has a tendency to pull out the fabulous whatever the occasion (ie. wearing stiletto bandage heels and slinging a Prada bag at my baby shower, which was like, white old lady Talbot's central), was going to over-dress, but she did her research.  She says that after seeing what Camilla was wearing on the tour, she dressed in business attire.


Thank goodness!


Still waiting on photos of her shaking hands with the horse-faced duo.  What IS it about British royals that makes them look so old?  I swear, Kate looks like she's 40-something.  I don't get it.  They love their old-looking women over there.  Same thing with Adele - can someone explain to me why a GIRL of like, 24 is dolled up to look like a 35 year old matron?  It makes no sense.  To put it in perspective, Emma Stone and Adele are like, the same age.  Another observation: not to generalize (which is the internationally accepted as the words that will ALWAYS IMMEDIATELY PRECEDE A GROSS, UNFAIR, AND USUALLY RACIST GENERALIZATION), but like, why is it that whenever I see an older woman of in her 40s with dyed fuchsia hair wearing like, a sailor style dress with contrasting piping, and she opens her mouth, she's almost always a Brit?  I feel like sailor-style dresses (like the kind you'd find at that store, Fresh Collective, in Toronto) are the dresses most likely to highlight age-inappropriateness from the wearer.  Sailor dresses are only for the very very young or the very very burlesque or rockabilly (if you even allow that being burlesque and rockabilly in this post-Suicide Girls age is okay, which I DO NOT).  And yet grown women with old faces for some reason LOVE to cavort around in them and it makes me die a little inside.


People with old faces who dress too young is a major issue of mine.  I AGONIZE over the age-appropriateness of what I'm wearing.  Obviously, if you look young, then all the power to you.  That's how Zooey's stylist is getting away with it.  But!  If you have an older face, then FOR THE LOVE OF PETE, dress your age!  It's okay!  They make luscious, lovely, gorgeous frocks for all ages!  It's very easy to be a super fresh older lady in this day and age.  To my mum's credit, when she pulls out the fabulousness, she nails it.  It can be done.


Fin.

Three Legged Pig

Well, what can I say about this weekend?  It wasn't without its ups and downs.  My outlaw bro is currently running for a political position in the county where they live and I was (unfortunately) able to bear witness to the ugly side of American-style politics this weekend.  I was just glad to be able to be there for Uncle Rico and my sis, who have done SO MUCH for me and the Dotytron (like, allowing us to host our wedding at their place, and allowing us to use their house as a glorified P.O. Box for all our goods [see below]).  I just wish I could have done more.


This all goes towards my current pet thesis, which is why do decent, hard-working, good people get PUNISHED in today's society?  How does that make sense?  Between me and the Dotytron, we've got like, 5 post-secondary degrees, and every year for the next 6 years, the Dotytron is going to be struggling this time to get a job (most likely) and we have to keep postponing all our home improvements because we like, pay our taxes and don't sponge money from the government and stuff.  How does that make sense?  Meanwhile, I see (or like, I have seen, at least once) contests that reward people for trying to quit smoking with cars and whatnot.  I mean, I get it.  I get that the costs to society of having to foot the bill to treat your emphysema or lung cancer are more than the car, but WHERE'S THE REWARD FOR NOT SMOKING IN THE FIRST PLACE?  So some jacked up fatty carmichael is gonna win a car while I'm trolling sketchy sites of questionable origin for after-market parts for the Captain?!? What the hell?  It's enough to turn you into a Tea Partier...or at least, to see the attraction for people who feel like other people are sponging off of them (ie. like my neighbour, Mad Eye Moody).


I've been a bit of a foul owl lately.  I kind of dislike everyone and I only want to hang out with Dr. Rei, which is kind of the norm anyway, so no biggie.  So sue me for having the best bff, k?

 On the Friday before we left, I made us waffles, with a cinnamon sugar swirl, so they tasted like cinnamon bun waffles.  Yeah, that happened.

 Then on the way out of town, we stopped for rotis and doubles at our favorite place in the whole world.  It's in Etobicoke and it's the ill na-na.  My (boneless!) goat roti was exquisite and the doubles are the best I've ever had, anywhere, bar none.

We ate pretty decent BBQ from this place called the Three Legged Pig.  We had brisket, chicken, ribs, and pulled pork.  The sides weren't the best but the brisket was outstanding.  Nothing really had a deep smoke flavour but the texture on the brisket was that perfect balance between chewy and tender.  I like my brisket to have some texture to it, and this one did.  I think I'm over ordering pulled pork out.  I mean, a proper pulled pork sammy is good, but ultimately, you don't get that much smoke flavour and it tends to all taste pretty same-y.  It's the sauce that sets it apart and the sauces at this place weren't that great (the Kansas-style one was too sweet and unnuanced) except for their South Carolina style mustard-based dipping sauce, which I quite liked.


Here are some photos from the weekend.  My sis' nickname for the Big Yam is "city mouse" and Little Big Cuz is "country mouse."  Both mice were being pretty darned cute.  As were Miss Ramona and Little Ze. Once your kids get to be like, 5 or 7 or so, parenting becomes like, a 1/4 time job.  They just do their own thing, hanging out, maxing and relaxing and bugging each other, instead of you.

Cousins holding hands.

Country mouse kicking back.

Grand Electric, eat your heart out - this is some real street food business.  As you can see, the Big Yam is taking his mayonnaise application task, VERY seriously.

Most of these photos were taken at the Strong Museum of Play, which is basically kid nirvana.  They also have a garden and a butterfly conservatory.

This is a portion of my haul:

Under the Texan Sun dress.  I was fully planning on returning this because I thought it would be too short.  But then I decided: "f**k it"  This summer is going to be about tanned legs and too-short skirts and messy hair.  This number is 100% cotton and the muted-neon orange and grey color combo are impossibly fresh.  It's pretty super-flattering, even with the cap sleeves.

This dress came and it fits like a dream.  Super happy with this purchase.

I also snagged this one.  I thought this would be nice for work, with a navy blazer or a cardigan.  It's a bit crazy, but one of the things I like about my job is that it's okay to wear a "statement" dress like this.  I don't have to be super-conservative all the time.  

That effectively puts an end to my summer shopping.  I'm looking for a pair of cropped pants or a longer pair of shorts and then I'm donezo.  

Tonight was a quickie pierogi dinner on account of the fact that we got in late last night and didn't get a chance to do a proper grocery shop.

So that was me.  How was your weekend?

Fin.

Long weekend! Long weekend!

Come to Lagerfeld, long weekend!  I took tomorrow off from work.  We're heading out to Geneseo and we're hoping against hope that if the Dotytron can zip out of work right when the bell tolls, we can be on the road at 4pm and maybe beat the traffic.  That would mean making it down to Geneseo nice and early enough to be able to see our niece and nephews and spend some time with them and get settled in.  But I have a bad feeling that even leaving at 4pm won't be early enough to avoid the rush-hour, get-the-hell-outta-dodge, gridlock on the QEW.

The Dotytron has got 4 interviews so far...so please do wish him luck!  It will be SO NICE to head to Geneseo and not have to think about our lives and to give my sis and Uncle Rico a hand with taking their minds of their own very busy and stressful lives.

It was me and the Boobla tonight.  We had steak sandwiches and played outside and had baths and read stories.  It was lovely. He seems to be pretty much over his incessant whinyness and now it's just a general whinyness phase.

I got a really good idea from a colleague.  She created a little teeny, tiny, personal tumblr for her kids to share with relatives, grandparents, etc.  She uploads photos and pictures of their artwork and stuff - little snippets to capture their childhood.  I thought this was FANTASTIC so I've copied it.  I made a tumblr for the Big Yam where I can post random shots and videos and his favorite things and his words.  I thought it'd be nice for him to have and look back on later...a nice record of his childhood.

The Big Yam's Big Life: a blog about a little Big Yam in a big big world.

I don't expect you lot (all 10 of you) to be interested, but it's there if you ever want to check in on what's happening in his world, or if you just want a place to see cute photos of him and find out how his vocabulary is progressing.  Surprise to no one: GRANDPARENTS LOVE THIS KIND OF THING!  LOL.  Pretty sure Momma D lost her damn mind when I sent her the link.  Hahaha!  Yes!  Outlaw-daughter brownie points!  Hopefully this makes up for the myriad ways I surely must annoy her on the regular.

In other exciting news, MHui alerted me to the opening of A NEW RAMEN RESTAURANT OPENED BY GUU.  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  AKA - every dream I've ever dreamed and every hope I've ever dared to hope, realized.  It's called Kinton Ramen and it looks AMAZING.  Dotytron and I are set to have a dinner and a movie night in a couple of weeks.  I'm so torn about where I want to go!  Really, all I've wanted to eat lately is Asian food.  I get it, I get it.  Hopgood's Foodliner, the Ace, 416Snackbar, Chantecler, and Yours Truly are all generating huge buzz.  But I care not!  I really, truly, only want to eat at Guu.  It's just my favorite place/thing in the world.  I can't help it!  I dunno...maybe we'll try to get into General Electric first thing and see if those tacos are really worth the trip to dodge (and the wait at dodge).  I really just want to eat good, affordable food, surrounded by Asians with no hipsters and no jostling and no attitude.  Luckily, in Toronto, that's not too much to ask...it just requires that you won't be eating at whatever "buzz-worthy" restaurant has been designated so by the glitterati (or Toronto Life) and instead you'll be eating like, Bamiyan kebabs and occasionally getting food poisoning from Babu.  Can you handle it?  I can.

Fin.

On an upswing

Well, after a series of gripe and complaint filled lunches with Dr. Rei, I'm feeling more myself, thank goodness.  It helps that I NAILED my work outfit today.  That JCrew pencil skirt, a sea-foam green t-shirt tucked in, a purple 3/4 sleeve cardigan - basically it was very Michelle-Obama-vacations-in-Palm-Springs-with-Lily-Pulitzer (read: preppy as all get out!).  See:

I think I just needed to wallow in self-pity and get down low in the dirt so I could realize how good I have it.  I have it very, very good, really.  I know it, too.


The Big Yam has continued his whining streak...I think he's just starting to push back a bit and realize his own agency.  He got what he wanted this weekend from being a sucky baby so he's been testing out the boundaries by continuing to be a sucky baby and crying and wanting to be picked up all the time.  We're taking a very low-key, matter-of-fact, not-negotiating-with-terrorists approach right now.  We're very calm and we keep repeating: "I don't understand you, tell Mama and Baba what you want" and then just letting him have his moment and rewarding him lavishly when he doesn't whine and asks nicely.  It's a tactic based on repetition and staying calm and kind of just like, expecting appropriate behaviour from him and being able to wait him out.  This doesn't always work, because life doesn't always afford you the time to get into a stalemate with a toddler (ie. the Dotytron waited half an hour on a side street yesterday because the Big Yam wanted to be picked up and the Dotytron wanted him to walk).  But when possible, we're trying to be consistent, reasonable, and not let emotions get the better of us.  He's been getting better about it every day, which helps.


I recently took two books out of the library:  Simplicity Parenting and Free Range Kids.  I'll report back on any useful tidbits from the books.


Yesterday was round 2 of postings - we'll see how it goes.  Wish us luck!


We've been having killer dinners lately.  Monday was pasta carbonara with whole wheat macaroni, 3 eggs, double smoked bacon lardons, grated pecorino AND parm, and fava beans that were lovingly shelled, blanched, and shelled again.  So good.  I could eat that all day, every day.

 Last night I ate leftover turky, tofu, and long beans in black bean garlic sauce over brown rice at work.

Tonight we had nachos!  With guacamole, cheddar, queso fresco, 2 kinds of salsas, chopped onions, and sour cream.

And because it's the beginning of rhubarb season, I kicked things off with a rhubarb brown butter crisp, with vanilla ice cream from Ed's Real Scoop.


Fin.

Mothering Day

Ugh. What a bad way to end off a weekend.  The Big Yam was sick with a high fever and yesterday, on Mother's Day, I basically acted like a jerk to him and was in a horrible mood that resulted in tears and shouting (both him and me) and a flummoxed Dotytron.  I just wasn't INTO it, you know?  I didn't want to hang with my mum (sorry mum, nothing personal) and when we went to have dim sum the Big Yam started acting up and I was being judged by another stranger mom there and I was embarrassed and frustrated and angry.


Note to self: though I have been guilty of this in the past, I will absolutely try my best from here on in to refrain from judging the practices of other parents I know.  Well, actually, I tend not to judge my friends or acquaintances, I judge strangers.  But it behooves me to remember that when I see a kid having a meltdown, it's a "there but for the grace of some higher power, go I" moment and I'm only seeing a very small portion of that person's day.  Who knows what's going on in their lives?  They could have a feverish bambino who is just tired of sitting in a high chair (as was the case for me.)


And then we had dinner at Momma D's house, made by Ehmdo, and it was lovely and all, but at the end of it - I just wanted to have a day with MY family.  I wanted the Dotytron to have a chance to make me breakfast and for us to have a leisurely morning of hanging out and tooling around, instead of trucking ourselves from this place to that place and feeling like my precious, precious Sunday was galloping away from me when I was already over-tired from snuggling with the Big Yam when he woke up at 1am feverish and miserable.


So basically I feel guilty because a) I was a jerk to my kid when he was sick and basically just needed me to be nice to him instead of being a dragon mama; and b) I should be grateful that I have my mum and the Dotytron's mum around still to be with instead of being selfish and resenting the lack of just Lagerfeld-Dotytron family time.    


I'm a horrible person.

 

We had a nice Saturday, though.  Saturday was really, really lovely actually, veering very close to an almost-perfect day.  We slept in a bit and then loaded everyone up and took a nice, long walk around the neighbourhood, checking out the heaps and heaps of yard sales that were happening.  We stopped at Hastings Snack Bar (since 1963!) which is a lunch counter from a by-gone era.  Worn vinyl-topped stools, chipped Formica counter, two toasters that were old enough to be fire hazards but not so old to be charmingly retro, one lone patron lazily paging through the Toronto Sun and an old (!) Chinese (!) man frying up the orders.  I got us a bacon'n'egg sandwich - priced at $3.50, thinking it was a safe bet.  Imagine my complete pleasure when I opened up the wax paper and saw that it's a DOUBLE DECKER!  Really basic: just white Wonderbread toast, a mess of hormone-and-nitrite-laden crispy bacon, over easy egg - but so, so satisfying.  Then we chased these with almond croissants from JPChallet, which I love, because the almond flavour is really subtle and natural.  They also leave the skins on the almonds when they make their almond paste for the filling, which gives everything a really nice, nutty flavour.


It was such a lovely way to spend the morning!  No big agenda - just walking and strolling and poking around other people's junk looking for treasure.  I made out a like a bandit - a big bag of duplo for $1.50 and a big box of assorted milk glass (including a Hoosier bud vase!) for $10.00.

The Big Yam and his buddy, the Norseman, watching us play softball.

Then we had softball practice and I experienced the particular pleasure once again of feeling the resounding crack of aluminum bat against softball (I have no idea what softballs are made of).  We then had Dr. Rei and Hanbo over for tacos (tongue tacos and chorizo & potato tacos) and Settlers.  I also made tres leches cake.  Settlers was boss (because I won).

I'm going to get over my guilt by being a better parent this week.  That's my goal.


I read this awful blog post from this mum who had her baby girl die from this rare liver disease which had me crying at my desk last week.  The thing the mum kept saying was how this made her realize how those little things (dishes piling up in the sink, a cranky toddler) just don't matter and how she wishes she had rejoiced in those moments more.  I think it's the nature of life to be caught up in small things because we can't conceptualize the big picture, but there is a point to what she was saying.  So while I continue to find it hard to navigate my sense of mortality (everyone's) with balancing life and being a good, productive person (ie. the logical extension of the reality-of-the-finite-nature-of-life is that you never discipline your kids? Or you never clean?), I think it's worthwhile for me to get some perspective on my insane drive to accomplish tasks.  I need to sit more and luxuriate in my time with my kid.  I need to realize he's not going to want to be carried by me forever (or even for much longer) and that I should take a moment to appreciate each and every second of his arms wrapped tight around my neck and the weight of his head on my shoulder.


So that's what I'm going to do.  I'll report back in a year.


For those of you who weren't aware, Maurice Sendak passed away last week.  Here is a quote of his on death:


“I have nothing now but praise for my life. I’m not unhappy. I cry a lot because I miss people. They die and I can’t stop them. They leave me and I love them more. … What I dread is the isolation. … There are so many beautiful things in the world which I will have to leave when I die, but I’m ready, I’m ready, I’m ready.”


Fin.

Kid shame

So yesterday on FB I posted about how I'm embarrassingly into "Call Me Maybe."  BTW: The Dotytron? - so not getting the appeal.  But as I explained it to him when I played it for him last night: "It's like the perfect mix between vapid and stabs."  He said I was right.  Anyway, a friend on FB was all like, "Have you seen the video?" and I have, kinda.  I mean, I skimmed through it and got to the part where the big reveal is that the guy she's into is actually gay.  BUT I LIED ABOUT IT ON FB.  LOL!  BECAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT REACTION SHE WAS LOOKING FOR.  So I went and did a little fishing: "is the video bad?" but all she came back with was: "I'll just let you watch it."  SO FRUSTRATING!  I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about the video?!??!  Is it supposed to be hilarious (it's not), shocking (it's not), offensive (I don't think so)?  GAH!  WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO BE SO CRYPTIC?!?!!

On the topic of shame, and kid shame in particular, I'm like, super-sensitive to it.  One of the scenes from that doc, Made In China is like, seared into my memory and makes me cringe every time I replay it in my head (which is more often than you'd think, but that's how deeply I'm affected by kid shame.)  Anyway, this couple working in the sweatshop with their daughter also have their like, 11 year old nephew with them, also working. The scene opens with the Aunt talking loudly at her neighbour, "So he runs away? I just told him his work was no good. It's like I'm not allowed to criticize him anymore?  He's so emotional!" Cut to a new scene of the Uncle bringing the kid back to the sweatshop.  Aunt asks the Uncle: "where did you find him?" and Uncle says, "at an internet cafe."  Aunt assiduously IGNORES the kid, who is standing just to the side of her sewing machine, chastised, but still defiant in that way that kids can be, but not knowing what to do with himself.  The camera stays on this scene for like, 3 minutes, of the kid standing there, wanting to be acknowledged, but not knowing how to navigate and the Aunt doesn't say boo to him and it like, KILLS ME.  Later on you see the kid in the worker's dormitory (which is just a room, with steel bunk beds - no mattresses - and a circa 1980s TV) not looking at the camera and his cousin (the daughter) is saying, "Don't cry, it's okay," and giving him the "parents just don't understand" speech while he wipes tears away surreptitiously because he doesn't want the camera to see.  WORST!  I don't know why it gets me so bad but it totally does.  I guess I've totally been there - having done something bad and feeling sorry but your parents are like, dragging it out and you basically just want a hug.  That's what's so effective about Nanny 911's time out methods.  She always ends with a big hug and kiss and an "I love you" to the kid.  I dunno - I guess I'm just really attuned to kid pride.

Speaking of that, the Dotytron was telling me about this presentation this kid was doing on Eminem where he referred to Tupac as "Pac-too" and was like, "This song is by Eminem....and it features this other guy 'Pac-too' who's old and doesn't make music any more." and there was a pause and some other kid was like, "do you mean Tupac?" So I asked the Dotytron what he said and he was like, "I didn't say anything because he [the kid presenting] seemed kind of embarrassed already."  AWWWWWWWWWWWW.  So cute!  Poor little Sri Lankan kid who's never heard of Tupac.  Gah!

Then he was telling me about how, in relation to another presentation on rock music, the Dotytron was telling another group of kids about how his parents were hippies.  And he's all like, "Well, I guess it'd be your grandparents, but were any of you parents hippies?" And there's a long pause, and then this one kid says, "We're Chinese."  LOL!!!  So gold. 

Dinner was a bust.  So we ended up having breakfast for dinner (two strips of bacon on toast w/ poached eggs).  Ugh.  I hate bust dinners.

Fin.

In the grand tradition of me being a sucker

...for a pop lick, I'm currently obsessed with this song:

LOL!  WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!?  Meanwhile, I'm the one pooh-poohing Gotye (or as I call him, Peter Gabriel lite), like, every second I get.


It's like the second coming of Party in the USA.  Now I'm going to play that on repeat.

Finally, because I'm eternally a sucker for country harmonies, I'm ready to admit that I'm kinda seriously into Mumford and Sons:

Looks like me and "moochie face" Carey Mulligan have something in common!  Ha! Although I seriously have issues with the giantness of Marcus Mumford's face.  There's just a lot of face going on there.  I know, I'm a horrible person.  


Think I found my summer jam, kids ("Call Me Maybe" not "The Cave")  Phew.  So glad I have that in the bag.  I was getting kinda worried for a sec.


Tonight was me and the Yam all day. Just us. Real talk.  

I made us a dinner of macaroni tossed with peas, mint, creme fraiche and lemon.  And a big helping of my "Olive Garden" salad.


Fin.

Reading Rainbow

Reading A TON lately and loving every minute of it.  In direct proportion to how busy life gets is how much I crave brushing my teeth, putting on my jammies, and squeezing in an extended period of reading-in-bed.  It's lovely.  I hope, I hope, I hope I can pass on this love of reading to my kid.  The Dotytron has actually been getting mad at me because I keep putting off Downton Abbey (we're on our last episode of season 1!) for more time in bed, reading.  


In the battle between television and books though, literary pursuits will always win.  Here's what I've been laying my peepers on, lately:

Wonder by R.J. Palacio.  This book slayed me.  It's a quick YA read - I plowed through it over 2 nights, staying up way past my bedtime because I couldn't bear to put it down.  This book is about August, a boy born with severe facial deformities.  Homeschooled by his mother, the book begins with August entering 5th grade at a public school for the first time.  As August says in the opening pages, attempting to describe himself, "whatever you think I look like, it's probably worse."  This book had me in tears because Palacio doesn't take the easy way out.  Auggie isn't sheltered from the meanness that is in people or the viciousness that characterizes so many social interactions, especially among children.  What makes this book so enriching is that in the end, you realize, along with Auggie, that there are more mostly good people than there are mostly bad people in this world.  That we as humans are capable of kindness and that we should always strive to be kinder than is necessary.  The book is told from a few different perspectives: August's, his sister Via's, his friends Summer and Jack's, and finally, from Via's former friend Miranda's point of view.  All these perspectives and experiences make up an ultimately life-affirming story of how we are blessed to be capable of kindness and love and how we are blessed to receive kindness and love:


“Courage. Kindness. Friendship. Character. These are the qualities that define us as human beings, and propel us, on occasion, to greatness.”  - from Wonder


A distant acquaintance recently had a baby with Down Syndrome.  The baby has had some health setbacks as well and is still in the hospital.  I look at the pictures they've posted on FB and it makes me cry.  As if being a new parent isn't hard enough, they're going through the ringer with their little guy, who in the grand scheme of things, is still going to be okay.  Their little baby is such a lamb and the expressions on his face are just so dear and sweet.  It just makes you think what a miracle little kids are and how remarkable human beings are, with our ability to cope and the boundlessness of our love.  It also makes you realize how the scale of our perception gets redrawn all the time.  How, in spite of how lucky I am, I am able to take things for granted and bemoan small, piddly trifles.  I don't know where I'm going with this - just that (and I'm not relinquishing my beliefs on women's reproductive rights here) little people are miracles, in a way.  And that no matter what, your kid is YOUR kid, however they turn out. They are of you and more importantly, they're of all of us - little balls of potential.

 My work book club selected Esi Edugyan's Half Blood Blues (which won the Giller prize this year) and I wasn't expecting to like it (me and my work book club's views don't generally mesh) but I was instantly drawn into the writing and the story.  The book follows a group of black jazz musicians playing in Berlin before the start of World War II and follows their eventual exile into Paris.  The book cuts between the present day, when the surviving members of the band are brought together for a reunion tour, and the events of the past.  There are secrets and ambitions and love and love lost.  There is race and there are Nazis and there is the disgusting and disgraceful self-preservation instincts of occupation.  There are "human zoos" like Tierpark Hagenbeck but there is also history and friendship, jealousy, time, forgiveness, and love.  There is jazz music and talent and envy.  All these things are in this book and I loved reading it.  It was interesting to read about black experiences during the war and to see (in a sense) how Berlin went from being a cosmopolitan city with a thriving art scene that welcomed musicians of all races and religions to seemingly overnight becoming a place of paranoia and snitching and arrests.  

Finally, I've recently plowed through Craig Thompson (author of Blankets, which I LOVED).  Habibi is a technical marvel, from the standpoint of Thompson's imagery.  Set in the Middle East, he blends the forms and styles of Arabic writing into his incredibly intricate panels and weaves together a story from strands of the Qur'an, the modern gritty Middle East, and myths and stories.  The story follows Dodola - a young girl sold into marriage by her parents who subsequently at the age of 12 adopts a young slave boy Zam, who is 3.  She trades sexual favours to desert caravan men in exchange for food to support herself and Zam.  She becomes a mother, sister, and eventually, a lover to Zam.  Uhhh...that part was kinda gross.  I loved the visuals in this book and totally appreciated the hours and hours of labour that went into the details of the illustrations, but I had huge problems with the story, specifically in the depiction of sexuality and female sexuality at that.  I'm having a hard time articulating it, but let's just say that Zam becomes a eunuch, there are multiple instances of sexual exploitation of women, and then there's the whole, "I'm your mother and now I'm your lover" thing, which is just plain ick-tastic.  You learn from Thompson's semi-autobiographical tale, Blankets that Thompson was raised in an extremely religious family and was extremely conflicted by his awakening sexuality (with his girlfriend) and the Christian asceticism which characterized his upbringing.  This sense of shame pervades this work and makes it difficult to read, much less enjoy, much less tease out a cohesive, coherent point to the images of rape and plunder and starvation and disrespect.  It seemed kind of gratuitous after a while and I found a hard time getting the bigger picture.  The comic is also way too long.  I don't think I'd recommend this.  Or, flip through the pictures, take in the intricacy of the lines and brush strokes and then put it down.


Tonight is the first night class of my last course of this degree.  This is thrilling, but at the same time, I can't believe I have like, 12 weeks to get through!  But I just got to keep my eye on the prize.  Making it easier: for dinner tonight I had doubles from that place that makes the best ones in the world and a chicken roti which the Dotytron bought for me as a special treat.  He's the only one who knows where the special doubles place is...all I know is it's somewhere in Etobicoke.  I'm going to miss seeing my Boobla tonight, though.


Fin.

Super moons and more!

I need a weekend to recover from this weekend.  AND IT WAS A THREE DAY WEEKEND FOR ME.  WTF?  Only the craziest weekend in crazytown!

Thursday night Academic Book Club was interesting.  There was a lot of discussion about sexuality and, as the majority of the members (all save one) are parents, how to talk to your daughters about their sexuality.  I don't know if it's a generational divide or something, but I'm way more laissez-faire about it all.  The other women were much more like, "guys just want to take a girls virginity!" "teenage boys are so self-interested!" "girls get pressured into doing things!" which isn't necessarily untrue, but I think it structures the narrative in a very specific way.  Maybe it's because I have a son, maybe not, but I personally think it creates a very narrow field of possibilities in terms of how an adolescent girl is going to come into her own sexually, if the language we use is that your virginity is "taken" from you, and that boys are out to harm you.  Are there existing and pervasive power inequities that mean that women are figured as objects of desire, and that female identities are structured in terms of how they exist as objects for the male gaze?  Yes, 100% and that is deeply problematic.  At the same time though, we have to teach women that there is such a thing as a healthy sexual world-view and not send them into the world with a fear-based mentality.

First of all, your virginity isn't a big thing.  You're not "pure" and then suddenly, "not."  As my friend said, losing your virginity (or your first real sexual experience) can best be described as: "painful, awkward, and uncertain."  LOL!  So true!  There was talk in the Book Club about how the S&M elements in Maidenhead (the teenage girl protagonist gets peed on) victimized women and that lead me, raised as I am on a healthy diet of Savage Love columns, to query whether women could actively participate in submissive sexual behaviour and still be agents.  I say yes, a lot of the women thought no.  It was a really interesting discussion and it showed again, how much and how deeply I differ from these ladies.  But it's all good...they need me around to shake them up and I need them around to know how to be like, tactful and explain slang and stuff.

Friday I kept the Big Yam home with me in the morning and then I dropped him off with J at the drop-in centre.  It's so funny how out-of-context parents make kids go crazy.  He was being weirdly clingy and not himself, but it was cute.  He played at the water table and was showing off a bit.  I absolutely love kids in smocks.  It makes me die inside from the cuteness of it.  Then I had a massage, whereupon I learned that not stretching after running means that you contemplate rolling off the massage table in a feat of gluteal-self-preservation when your RMT digs into your butt with her elbow.  My glutes are in trouble, sons!  Then we had dinner with the Roomie and L'Armi at their place.  We ordered Greek delivery and it was good and tasty and we had a good, low-key time.  We basically just laid around on their king-sized bed and played with all their massage toys.  It sounds super-lame but it was the best.  We also thought up a wicked name for their bambino (they're having naming issues).  Wait for it: Capleton.  BEST!  LOL!  Way easier to integrate than say, Sizzla, which was our other pick.

Saturday was buckwild.  I took the Big Yam grocery shopping, then we went to KW for Jenny Calendar & Tillers' daughter's 1st birthday party!  It was a big deal, yo!  Colour scheme, a huge spread, lots of friends and kids toddling about.  Super cute and super-fun.  The Big Yam was doing his standard thing of petting other kid's heads and then trying to go in for a kiss.  It's his calling card.  Then SMckay drove us home.  We ended up missing the documentary because we left the party late and there was some rubbernecking business on the 401, but it worked out in the end because I got to get SMckay settled.  She ended up meeting like, all my neighbours.  It was cute.

The Dotytron and I saddled up and biked to the Brickworks for the TUM Street Food Block Party.  We met up with MHui and her hubby R there.  It was crazytown!  People were lining up for some of the food trucks for like, 2 hours!  So MHui and I got in line for these lobster rolls from the Rock Lobster Food Co.  It was like a 20 minute wait and MHui said we were getting static from some b**ches in front of us who were being grumbles and talking like we had cut in line or that the people behind us were really with them or something.  So I started getting a little static-y back at them.  At one point, I looked behind us and was like, "whoa, that line just grew like, exponentially!  We got in at a good time!" Then we linked back with the boys with our lobster poutine and lobster rolls and it turns out THAT WE HAD TOTALLY CUT IN LINE.  LOL!  Whoops!!!  No wonder we were getting static from other people!  MHui had another friend who'd been waiting TWO HOURS for her food!!!  Hahahaha...best-slash-worst.  The boys were pretty useless.  While we were waiting for our lobster sammies they came strolling up with beer so we told them to go stand in line at another stand and get something.  We turn around 10 minutes later and they're standing a little ways away from us, chiefing it up and drinking their beer and MHui is like, "did they get food?  I know they didn't get food!" and we go back to them and OF COURSE they didn't get food.  They choked up under the pressure.

We had the lobster stuff, a huitlacoche (a fungus that grows on corn) taquitos, a cochinita pibil slider, this AMAZING Indonesian food (beef rendang in a little egg pancake, this awesome veggie-stuffed deep fried tofu with peanut sauce, yellow curry chicken wings), water buffalo banh mi, cornbread grilled cheese, doughnuts (these were meh, not fresh) and got some cupcakes and cake in a jar to go.  The boys had a bunch of craft beers and some tequila.

I was getting mad, though.  Two reasons:

1) The TUM organizers are exploiting the vendors!  You have to pay to get in and then pay for your food and drink on top of it.  Tickets were $20.  They were expecting around 3000 people.  That means TUM made like, $60,000 in one night!  FOR WHAT?!?  There's a tonne of volunteers, they had to pay to rent the Brickworks, some advertising, security, insurance, and special event liquor license.  Bogus!  PLUS, the vendors have to pay a registration fee of $200!  That's what was the most galling.  I was telling them, "you should rebel! This is outrageous!  They're making money on your backs!" and MHui was like, "are you trying to start a revolution, Katniss?"  LOL!  But it's true!  None of that profit goes to the vendors.  If it was me, I'd do like a "People's Choice" award or something and then give the winner $10,000 or something.

2) I know the point of TUM is that it gives amateur cooks exposure...but the amateurishness of the amateur cooks was galling.  There was no sense of urgency!  How do you see like, a wall of 150 people in front of you and you're still moving like you're just making yourself a Sunday afternoon afternoon sammy?  C'MON! I so wanted to jump behind the line at points and start like, expediting or pumping out the orders.

All in all, I don't know if I would go back.  When they first started TUM was $5 admission.  That's fair.  $20 is pushing it.

We rode our bikes there and the Dotytron had the brilliant idea for us to ride our bikes down Bayview back.  Ummmmm...Bayview is like, DVP-lite.  There is NO shoulder and so you have to ride in a car lane and cars are going by you at like, 70 or 80 and honking and not expecting you to be there.  I was like, screaming at him at the top of my lungs going, "I AM NOT COMFORTABLE WITH THIS!  GET OFF!  I DON'T LIKE THIS!!!!!!" and so we got off at the first available opportunity (which are few and far between on Bayview).  So it's not super-accessible, either.

And...the Dotytron got food poisoning.  He woke up at 2am with the scoots and the brafing.  It was bad.  Poor guy.  I have an iron stomach so I was fine.  The good thing is, SMckay was an awesome babysitter and allowed us to have a fun night out.  We also saw the super moon on our way home and it was amazing and so we gave it a 3-ring salute on our bike bells.  The super moon is kinda bada**, guys.

Sunday I let the Dotytron sleep in and did mad sensory play with the Big Yam.  We basically spent the whole day outside.  I mulched the garden and had the Big Yam sitting in his bean tub (but filled with the cocoa shell mulch) outside with me.  Then in the afternoon I filled the tub with water and food colouring so he could play in the water.  Then all the neighbours were outside and the kids were talking and playing together...it was super-cute.  SMckay came back from her date with the philanthropist to pick up her car  and like, knew everyone, just from being out the night before.  It was cute.  I really, really, really love my 'hood.  We're talking about this year's Street Party already.  We ended up having to cancel our planned dinner with Lolly on account of the Dotytron's gut being all sensitive.

This is the look the Big Yam is gonna be running with all summer.  LOL!  He looks like baby Hunter S. Thompson.  We almost got him mini-Ray Bans in NYC but I didn't want to spend the money and then I found these sunny g's at store in Toronto.  They're hilarious.

This morning was a gong show.  Applications for the TDSB job postings are all due today by 4pm.  The Dotytron found out this morning he has an interview way out in the west end.  I worked night shift so it was a mad scramble figuring out who was gonna pick up the Big Yam.  Thankfully these occasions are few and far between but it was still a bit of an "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" morning.  I hope the Dotytron gets an interview and gets one of the jobs closer to home.  Having to drive cross-town every day would really make things difficult for us!

Momma D picked up the Big Yam and I ended up ordering us pizza to make dinner time easy tonight.

Fin.