I need a weekend to recover from this weekend. AND IT WAS A THREE DAY WEEKEND FOR ME. WTF? Only the craziest weekend in crazytown!
Thursday night Academic Book Club was interesting. There was a lot of discussion about sexuality and, as the majority of the members (all save one) are parents, how to talk to your daughters about their sexuality. I don't know if it's a generational divide or something, but I'm way more laissez-faire about it all. The other women were much more like, "guys just want to take a girls virginity!" "teenage boys are so self-interested!" "girls get pressured into doing things!" which isn't necessarily untrue, but I think it structures the narrative in a very specific way. Maybe it's because I have a son, maybe not, but I personally think it creates a very narrow field of possibilities in terms of how an adolescent girl is going to come into her own sexually, if the language we use is that your virginity is "taken" from you, and that boys are out to harm you. Are there existing and pervasive power inequities that mean that women are figured as objects of desire, and that female identities are structured in terms of how they exist as objects for the male gaze? Yes, 100% and that is deeply problematic. At the same time though, we have to teach women that there is such a thing as a healthy sexual world-view and not send them into the world with a fear-based mentality.
First of all, your virginity isn't a big thing. You're not "pure" and then suddenly, "not." As my friend said, losing your virginity (or your first real sexual experience) can best be described as: "painful, awkward, and uncertain." LOL! So true! There was talk in the Book Club about how the S&M elements in Maidenhead (the teenage girl protagonist gets peed on) victimized women and that lead me, raised as I am on a healthy diet of Savage Love columns, to query whether women could actively participate in submissive sexual behaviour and still be agents. I say yes, a lot of the women thought no. It was a really interesting discussion and it showed again, how much and how deeply I differ from these ladies. But it's all good...they need me around to shake them up and I need them around to know how to be like, tactful and explain slang and stuff.
Friday I kept the Big Yam home with me in the morning and then I dropped him off with J at the drop-in centre. It's so funny how out-of-context parents make kids go crazy. He was being weirdly clingy and not himself, but it was cute. He played at the water table and was showing off a bit. I absolutely love kids in smocks. It makes me die inside from the cuteness of it. Then I had a massage, whereupon I learned that not stretching after running means that you contemplate rolling off the massage table in a feat of gluteal-self-preservation when your RMT digs into your butt with her elbow. My glutes are in trouble, sons! Then we had dinner with the Roomie and L'Armi at their place. We ordered Greek delivery and it was good and tasty and we had a good, low-key time. We basically just laid around on their king-sized bed and played with all their massage toys. It sounds super-lame but it was the best. We also thought up a wicked name for their bambino (they're having naming issues). Wait for it: Capleton. BEST! LOL! Way easier to integrate than say, Sizzla, which was our other pick.
Saturday was buckwild. I took the Big Yam grocery shopping, then we went to KW for Jenny Calendar & Tillers' daughter's 1st birthday party! It was a big deal, yo! Colour scheme, a huge spread, lots of friends and kids toddling about. Super cute and super-fun. The Big Yam was doing his standard thing of petting other kid's heads and then trying to go in for a kiss. It's his calling card. Then SMckay drove us home. We ended up missing the documentary because we left the party late and there was some rubbernecking business on the 401, but it worked out in the end because I got to get SMckay settled. She ended up meeting like, all my neighbours. It was cute.
The Dotytron and I saddled up and biked to the Brickworks for the TUM Street Food Block Party. We met up with MHui and her hubby R there. It was crazytown! People were lining up for some of the food trucks for like, 2 hours! So MHui and I got in line for these lobster rolls from the Rock Lobster Food Co. It was like a 20 minute wait and MHui said we were getting static from some b**ches in front of us who were being grumbles and talking like we had cut in line or that the people behind us were really with them or something. So I started getting a little static-y back at them. At one point, I looked behind us and was like, "whoa, that line just grew like, exponentially! We got in at a good time!" Then we linked back with the boys with our lobster poutine and lobster rolls and it turns out THAT WE HAD TOTALLY CUT IN LINE. LOL! Whoops!!! No wonder we were getting static from other people! MHui had another friend who'd been waiting TWO HOURS for her food!!! Hahahaha...best-slash-worst. The boys were pretty useless. While we were waiting for our lobster sammies they came strolling up with beer so we told them to go stand in line at another stand and get something. We turn around 10 minutes later and they're standing a little ways away from us, chiefing it up and drinking their beer and MHui is like, "did they get food? I know they didn't get food!" and we go back to them and OF COURSE they didn't get food. They choked up under the pressure.
We had the lobster stuff, a huitlacoche (a fungus that grows on corn) taquitos, a cochinita pibil slider, this AMAZING Indonesian food (beef rendang in a little egg pancake, this awesome veggie-stuffed deep fried tofu with peanut sauce, yellow curry chicken wings), water buffalo banh mi, cornbread grilled cheese, doughnuts (these were meh, not fresh) and got some cupcakes and cake in a jar to go. The boys had a bunch of craft beers and some tequila.
I was getting mad, though. Two reasons:
1) The TUM organizers are exploiting the vendors! You have to pay to get in and then pay for your food and drink on top of it. Tickets were $20. They were expecting around 3000 people. That means TUM made like, $60,000 in one night! FOR WHAT?!? There's a tonne of volunteers, they had to pay to rent the Brickworks, some advertising, security, insurance, and special event liquor license. Bogus! PLUS, the vendors have to pay a registration fee of $200! That's what was the most galling. I was telling them, "you should rebel! This is outrageous! They're making money on your backs!" and MHui was like, "are you trying to start a revolution, Katniss?" LOL! But it's true! None of that profit goes to the vendors. If it was me, I'd do like a "People's Choice" award or something and then give the winner $10,000 or something.
2) I know the point of TUM is that it gives amateur cooks exposure...but the amateurishness of the amateur cooks was galling. There was no sense of urgency! How do you see like, a wall of 150 people in front of you and you're still moving like you're just making yourself a Sunday afternoon afternoon sammy? C'MON! I so wanted to jump behind the line at points and start like, expediting or pumping out the orders.
All in all, I don't know if I would go back. When they first started TUM was $5 admission. That's fair. $20 is pushing it.
We rode our bikes there and the Dotytron had the brilliant idea for us to ride our bikes down Bayview back. Ummmmm...Bayview is like, DVP-lite. There is NO shoulder and so you have to ride in a car lane and cars are going by you at like, 70 or 80 and honking and not expecting you to be there. I was like, screaming at him at the top of my lungs going, "I AM NOT COMFORTABLE WITH THIS! GET OFF! I DON'T LIKE THIS!!!!!!" and so we got off at the first available opportunity (which are few and far between on Bayview). So it's not super-accessible, either.
And...the Dotytron got food poisoning. He woke up at 2am with the scoots and the brafing. It was bad. Poor guy. I have an iron stomach so I was fine. The good thing is, SMckay was an awesome babysitter and allowed us to have a fun night out. We also saw the super moon on our way home and it was amazing and so we gave it a 3-ring salute on our bike bells. The super moon is kinda bada**, guys.
Sunday I let the Dotytron sleep in and did mad sensory play with the Big Yam. We basically spent the whole day outside. I mulched the garden and had the Big Yam sitting in his bean tub (but filled with the cocoa shell mulch) outside with me. Then in the afternoon I filled the tub with water and food colouring so he could play in the water. Then all the neighbours were outside and the kids were talking and playing together...it was super-cute. SMckay came back from her date with the philanthropist to pick up her car and like, knew everyone, just from being out the night before. It was cute. I really, really, really love my 'hood. We're talking about this year's Street Party already. We ended up having to cancel our planned dinner with Lolly on account of the Dotytron's gut being all sensitive.
This is the look the Big Yam is gonna be running with all summer. LOL! He looks like baby Hunter S. Thompson. We almost got him mini-Ray Bans in NYC but I didn't want to spend the money and then I found these sunny g's at store in Toronto. They're hilarious.
This morning was a gong show. Applications for the TDSB job postings are all due today by 4pm. The Dotytron found out this morning he has an interview way out in the west end. I worked night shift so it was a mad scramble figuring out who was gonna pick up the Big Yam. Thankfully these occasions are few and far between but it was still a bit of an "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" morning. I hope the Dotytron gets an interview and gets one of the jobs closer to home. Having to drive cross-town every day would really make things difficult for us!
Momma D picked up the Big Yam and I ended up ordering us pizza to make dinner time easy tonight.