Here are some funny bon mots, one-liners, quips, and happenings from our world, lately.
We figured out a decent plan at the last few Micelli Mondays of summer 2016, which entailed going to a different pool (one with a water slide!), doing ridiculous poses on said slide (to the deadpan bemusement of the teenage lifeguards), swimming, then packing up and ensconcing ourselves at one of the picnic tables by the fenced-in playground, and me engaging in protracted negotiations to convince the good people at Domino's Pizza to deliver our pizza order to the closest park intersection, instead of an actual street address. At our very last Micelli of the summer, we were finishing up our pizza, watching the kids play barefoot in the playground, when we heard the P.A. system of the pool click on, followed by:
"UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH....ttention, the pool will be closing in five minutes. Repeat: the pool will be closing in five minutes."
We DIED laughing. The kid held the "uhhhhhhh" for SO LONG. The commitment to the gag was pretty advanced. It's the closest I've ever come to a legit Meatballs moment and it was a glorious way to send off summer.
Related, Dr. Rei reminded me the other day that we were referring to hot dogs as "problematic bae" at the cottage. WHY ARE WE SO G-D FUNNY?!?
The Big Yam, after I got shouty and told him to pack up his pencil case off the dining room table, "Why are you always telling me what to do? Why can't you help a man who's six."
For a while there, when the twins didn't like what they were hearing from us/any authority figure/each other, they would say, "Don't speak those words!" (picked up from our caregiver). "I want to watch something" "You can't" "Noooo! Don't speak those words!!!"
Quincess, sitting at the dinner table, being classic daydream believer, "Chickens come from eggs. They come from little eggs. It's vewwwy speshoul." The way his lisping little voice has this faint Brooklyn edge - the way he rounds and extends the O sounds...kills us.
We were driving and passed by one of those houses that pop up in Toronto and are shaped like a barn. Me: "I like those barn houses..."
Lindsay: "I want that barn house, too!"
Me: "Do you have money?"
Lindsay: "Uhhhh..." *spreads hands palms out* "No."
Quincess: "I found money!"
Me: "You did?"
Quincess: "Yeah, it was under the couch, it was golden."
For the Big Yam's birthday, he wanted to play Laser Quest with his family (!!!). So we all posse'd up and went. I just love my family, so damn much. It was so funny. You could hear S-Dawg shouting "DELETED!" each time he hit one of us. Before you go into the game zone proper, there's a holding chamber where they give you the rundown and ask you to recite the pledge. Uncle Rico apparently knelt (a la Kaepernick) during the pledge...just ridiculous, ridiculous stuff like that. This is where I come from.
The Big Yam on his birthday (!!!)
This past weekend was my mum's annual hospital fundraising gala. The Dotytron and I don't usually go, but because this was the 20th anniversary, and our CLE fambam was coming up, we did. What I didn't know, was that there was a Star Wars theme in the VIP room, and so, my night consisted of this:
Almost the whole fam, plus the CLE contingent
Finally, out of nowhere, Quincess Leia has started busting out representative pictures of people and the Dotytron and I are gobsmacked. It legit brings us to tears. We became aware of it on Thanksgiving. Q was working on a Magnadoodle, which Lindsay ripped out of his hands, resulting in tears, and Q slapping L upside the head. When we revisited the Magnadoodle later, we saw a picture of a face similar to the one below, and the Dotytron went into high key CSI mode: "WHO DID THIS. WAS IT Q??? NO WAY. JUST TELL ME IF YOU DID IT." Interrogating my niece and nephews...lol! Finally, CHova was like, "No, it was Q. He slapped Lindsay and then went over and drew it, I saw him."
I know it doesn't look like much, but you have to understand that the Big Yam is only doing this level of representation, now.