Monday, April 04, 2016


I'm finally feeling like myself again.  It took a while to get here.  I was a ball of anxiety and nerves and stress and an extra-long weekend was what I needed to refocus.

It's been an intense week!  Last Wednesday we hosted my sister's kids and my mum for dinner.  The Big Yam was half out of mind with excitement at seeing his cousins.  We played Pie Face, which is a totally sadistic, gussied up version of Russian Roulette, with whipped cream instead of bullets.  You can play with a wet sponge (which the Big Yam prefers), but my sister's kids being the sugar hounds that they are, they went with whipped cream:


Thursday I took the twins to the indoor trampoline place during the day, and visited with the Roomie, then we had Dr. Rei and Hanbo and Zoony over and it was the best, obviously.  The best moments where when Dr. Rei mentioned getting Zoony sunglasses and I asked whether she got the "kind that have the strap that goes around the kid's head" and she was so offended that I asked her (with just cause, Baby Banz - pictured below - are horrendous).  LOL!  It was amazing.  She was so mad at me for 1) suggesting that she would buy them, and 2) implying that even if she did get them, they weren't the most horrendous thing you've ever seen.  Seriously, check them out.  They're THE WORST.  Only the worst people put Baby Banz on their kids.  We were also trash-talking Minions until Hanbo interjected with, "Uh, guys, Zoony kinda loves Minions," and we look over and Baby Zoony is standing enthralled by Minions in front of our TV, and pointing and saying, "owl."  So cute.

Friday we took the kids to Jamie Bell Adventure Playground again, except this time it was a skating rink.  Then we looked at the sad animals at the High Park Zoo (v. sad), and then took the kids to Kinton Ramen.  Except THIS time, the Kinton location we picked didn't even have proper chairs, or bench seating - they just have those blocky wooden stools.  Stools are NOT great for kids, but somehow, it turned out to be the best iteration of ramen en famille we'd ever attempted.  Pros: empty restaurant, I now roll around with little pucks of Play Doh in the diaper bag, we ordered the right stuff (turns out, Twin B loves ramen).  It was great.  We even jinxed it halfway by saying, "This might be the most successful restaurant outing ever) midway through the meal.

Then, the most epic thing happened on the way home.  I turned around and Twin A had Dizzy Gillespie cheeks and his mouth was all pursed closed and his eyes were watery and there was suspicious stuff around his mouth and I was like, "Oh s**t, he barfed!  In his mouth!" I frantically looked around and luckily we had an empty cardboard coffee cup and I twisted it around and held it under his mouth and told him to spit and he took his little wisp of a hand and pushed the cup away and shook his head.  I gave him a tissue and told him to wipe his mouth and he took it and wiped his lips but otherwise, held the barf in his mouth for the entire ride home (about 10 minutes)  until we got home and convinced him to spit it in the street.  It was epic.  Near the end, the Dotytron and I looked at each other and shook our heads in disbelief and the Dotytron said, "he is a better man than I."  Truer words have never been spoken.

This pic came home with the Big Yam the other day from school.  I feel like it's kind of passive aggressive???

After that adventure, we went to La Carnita with my sister and mum and C-Hova and Aunt Viv and then came back and ate cake.

Classic "Happy Birthday" spacing issues.  Shoutout to John Mulaney's standup special for reminding us all of Happy Birthday card-making spacing issues that befall us all.

Snapchat (or, "Snap-chap" as Twin B calls it) is proving very popular with the younger generation.

THEN SMckay showed up and our Discerning Coyote friend and we went to the SURPRISE PRINCE SHOW.


SMckay nailed the ticket getting.  I didn't know anything about the show before I agreed to go, only that it was a surprise show at the Sony Centre.  When the Dotytron informed me that it was an intimate show with just Prince and a piano, I was a little worried that with tickets to the 10pm show, I was on a fast-track to the most expensive nap I've ever taken.  I was wrong.  SO SO WRONG.  Prince shows are pure vibes.  Prince fans are the most beautiful mix of multiracial people - it's like going to Shondaland.  He is such a charismatic little miniature pony - he was in such a playful mood.  Stripped of the production, the power and craft of the songwriting shone through.  It was incredible.  I'm so glad I got to go.

This is actually a big month for me, concert-wise.  I went to Prince, I'm seeing Pusha T on Saturday, and then RiRi with Dr. Rei.  The freedom and socializing we're doing because the kids are all at an age where they're pretty manageable by a sitter is definitely mitigating my baby-craziness.  

Saturday I took the kids to meet my family for lunch and then we came home and went swimming at the Regent Park Aquatic Centre.  It was fantastic, although very, very crowded, and as always, Twin B continues to be a maniac.  He climbs up on the ledge and will basically cannonball into the pool without checking to see if anyone is there to catch him, frequently jumping ON TOP of other swimmers.  He could *just* keep his head above water by bouncing on his tippiest toes and then proceeded to push us away saying he could do it "hisself."  The Dotytron followed behind him as he walked down a ramp (Twin B couldn't see the Dotytron) just to see if at some point, maybe when the water was over his head, if he would get freaked out.  Nothing.  Nada.  When it got so deep, he just grabbed the railing, hooked his legs around, and just held on.  His confidence and level of entitlement is next level.

Twin A's face was basically like that, ALL MORNING.

We hosted my family for dinner and then they packed up and left.  The next morning was the annual street Easter Egg hunt, where I learned a few things: 1) my kids are terrible at Easter Egg hunting.  So slow and laid back.  2) Twin A woke up on the wrong side of the bed.  He doesn't get mad often, but when he lasts nigh on the whole day.  He basically spent two hours inside our porch, pouting, radiating misery, and glowering everyone at our screen door, protesting until he could go back in the house.  He's having a bit of a time right now with tantrums and being in a snit and inconsolable for hours on end.  He has a way of wiping his eyes like a grown person massaging a migraine with one hand, that is very hilarious.

Easter is one of those fake holidays that I just can't do.  Some people do the hunt inside and then an auxiliary hunt outside and I just can't.  I also can't with hyping my kids up on the Easter Bunny.  Some people also treat Easter like it's second Christmas (which, I guess it is?  For Christians?) with legit presents and stuff and I don't see myself going there, either.  A simple hunt, some chocolate, and that's all I really have the mental energy and wherewithal for.

Sunday dinner we had at Momma D's house.  We were eating dinner, and I announced to the twins, "You know who's wearing underwear now and goes poop and pee on the potty? Jack." At which point, Twin B drops his fork, drops his hand palm-down on the table, slouches back dramatically in his chair, presses his head against the chair back, exhales mightily, and says in a deadpan, flat voice, "I hate Jack."  lolololol!  It was so funny.

Finally, Monday was a day of semi-rest.  The Dotytron and I took the morning to go eat ramen (he's on a HUGE ramen kick lately), then we had the Big Yam's friend over, then we hosted the Roomie and L'Armi and their kids.  It was epic.

Tuesday was the Annual General Meeting for that non-profit I volunteer on.  I was nominated to the Board of Directors!  The past two nights were proper nights off, and then it starts up all over again today.

This weekend is PACKED.  

Friday night: dinner at the Discerning Coyote's house
Saturday: Brunch at JJ's, Pusha T for me, Record Club for the Dotytron
Sunday: Supper club

After this we need to take it easy for a bit, methinks.


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