Tuesday, April 29, 2014

David Attenborough, Junior

The Big Yam has lately been obsessed with watching episodes of that old BBC Series, Blue Planet on Netflix.  It's his go-to, and we're willing to indulge him (during his allotted TV/iPad time, of course - i.e., only on weekends) because the worst thing that happens is he's learning a s**t tonne about rando ocean creatures.  As in the video below, where he recites a little lecture on the migration habits of Atlantic lobsters, which he has pulled word for word from the series.  He's also watched so much of it, that he's picked up little David Attenborough-isms, which you can hear in the way he says stuff like "Atlantic lobster" in a stuffy, Brit voice.

"The increasing warmth is the cue for an Atlantic lobster to start on a long journey.  She spent the winter 250 meters down, far beyond the reach of the storms.  But, it was cold down there, and now she needs to find warmer water, so she's marching towards the shallows.  They however, are 150 kilometres away.  After a month of walking, she finally arrives at her favorite sandbank."  

Other choice Blue Planet-derived Big Yam funnies: he's been going around talking about how "blue whales don't have butts!" "crabs don't have butts!" but his most consistent assertion in his treatise on the existence of butt-less sea creatures has been "lobsters don't have butts!"  Cue to the other night, when he was nattering on about lobsters not having butts, lets out a GIANT fart, gives some side-eye, smirks, and says, "I guess lobsters DO have butts."  

We're a little unsure how to mediate his absorption of the amoral vicissitudes of underwater life.  He's watching a lot of carnal violence and coitus (shrimp and coral coitus, but still) and we're not sure whether it should be addressed.  Last night, he was watching a segment where an orca is shown in stunning slow-motion detail, eating a grey whale baby (technically known as a "calf" - we are ALL LEARNING THINGS).    In a direct parroting of David Attenborough's narration (though far removed from DA's sombre tone), the Big Yam said, "The killer whale has gotten its prize!" The Dotytron tried to insert some empathy for the plight of the grey whale baby, "Yes, but the killer whale is eating the grey whale calf.  It's dead now." The Big Yam: "The grey whale did not get its prize."  LOL.

Low key times at Casa Dotytron & Lagerfeld high this weekend.  Our friend A is visiting from NYC so the Dotytron went to his show on Friday night, chilled with him again on Saturday, and then we had our friends B & G over on Saturday night for dinner.  Sunday I took the Big Yam with me out and about while the Dotytron treated Momma D to her birthday present  - which was a special breakfast with the babies followed by watching a week's worth of Coronation Street with her.  The Big Yam and I had a pretty fun day - we helped do the Earth Day clean-up at our local park, we went to swimming lessons (where he was a giant pill and I had to be stern with him while all the other kids in the change room averted their eyes and cowered in fear), then we rode the rails (streetcar and subway) to do some errands downtown.  

The wind rustling in the background and the eerie creak of the swings, in addition to the babies (save for the Quincess' last-minute animation) disaffected demeanour is so funny to me.  It's like a Terrence Malick film.

The Quincess is a mischievous little Bonobo monkey.  Periodically, when we leave the Wonder Twins to do their baby scrum on the floor and run wild while we're in the kitchen cooking or something, we'll hear Lindsay unleash a very girlish, high-pitched wail/scream, which generally means that the Quincess has back-arched his way over to Lindsay and ripped the toy he was playing with out of his hands.  It's so funny because Lindsay is so much bigger than Quincess, but somehow, Quincess is surprisingly strong and Lindsay's always getting owned.  Lindsay also has a very classic "dismayed" face, that's kind of like classic exaggerated clown, which makes his anguish all the more laughable.  Then Quincess will give us a very bland, serious, look and basically, the long and short of it is: I could watch the Wonder Twins show all day.

I've all but finalized the haggling for the appliances for the kitchen and have almost finished winnowing down the haggling for the bathroom/kitchen fixtures.  I realize I'm not being very strategic about the process.  I'm not viewing Lil' Ugmo with the jaundiced eye of someone who only sees their house as an asset.  I doubt that future potential buyers would care as much about a 36" Wolf range, but I've lived SO LONG without a proper gas stove and I am not planning on moving in the next, say, 10 years, so I'm going to TREAT MYSELF.  My hot dog and KD game (which is going to be most of what Friday Night Takeout Night will consist of come 3-kids-in-childcare times in September) is going to be NEXT LEVEL.  

I will say it has been nice to sit and stew over a kitchen/bath remodel for the almost-five-years we've been living here.  My tastes have changed over that time frame and I've lived in the house and have a better vision of what I want Lil' Ugmo's best self to be.  A friend was curious about what the original bathroom sink was going to be.  For those of you with the coin to spend, I would encourage you to get the Duravit Vero:

My preciousssssss.

With some brass fixtures like this picture?  GET OUTTA HERE.

So beautiful.  Yeah, I get it.  It's a f**king sink.  But like the our Paleolithic ancestors in the caves of Lascaux, I believe that your home should be beautiful.  A space that reflects you.  Listen, we are all stardust, so why not make our brief time in the corporeal realm one in which we spit our Sensodyne toothpaste into a beautiful wall-mounted sink with brass fixtures?  

Speaking of being stardust, You Are Stardust is a recent picture book that we borrowed from the library, one that I consider worth owning.  Canadian made, beautifully illustrated with wonderfully tactile DIORAMAS, this book talks about how we are all connected by our stardust ancestry.  It's beautiful, poetic, and inspires the reader to situate themselves on a continuum that encompasses dinosaurs, pollen, our oceanic roots, and our future in the stars.  The cadence of the text is thought provoking, informative, and rhythmically comforting.  I highly recommend.  

Last night I took Dr. Rei out for her birthday.  My friend B's restaurant, Porzia, does a Monday $33 prix fixe that is pretty good value and a whole heap of food.  You each get an appetizer, then you share a pasta, and you each get a main.  Half priced bottles of wine, too, although we didn't avail ourselves of that.  We also went a bit buck and ordered an extra vegetable dish, and a hamachi crudo (as I've said before, and I'll undoubtedly say again, I love me a crudo).  It was A LOT of food.  But it was delicious.  My friend B is, as Dr. Rei so eloquently put it, a bit of a babe show:

He's always been super-nice, decent, and has good taste in 'chunes.  Nuff said.  Hard to find in the cooking world, which runs thick with weirdos, pumped up machismo, and small minds (more often than not, that dizzying cocktail in one person).  Also, total babeshow.  So is his wife.  

I didn't take any photos (for once), because I was too busy catching up with one of my favorite people in the world.


1 comment:

dr. rei said...

<3 times a billion, love you!