The Dotytron-Lagerfelds are going on vacation! Come March Break, we are headed to the Mayan Rivieria with Ehm-Do and Momma D and the Big Yam in tow! We decided on an all-inclusive vacation. Can I just say this: researching all-inclusives is one of the most taxing things I've ever done. It's about a million times harder than researching an à la carte vacation, where you book your hotel, flight, and activities separately. The variables involved are so frustrating! Especially when you're dealing with any constraint in any of the variables (different age groups wanting different activities, time of departure, length of stay, budget). It's insane.
And then on top of that, you have to deal with the loonies on Trip Advisor when you're cross-referencing your resort options. Trip Advisor reveals the worst in humanity, in my opinion. First of all, you have the people there whose MINDS ARE BLOWN because the staff will fold a towel into a swan and scatter a few perfunctory rose petals and who insist on lavishly documenting this phenomena and then POSTING THOSE PHOTOS FOR OTHER PEOPLE TO SEE. That makes NO SENSE to me! Are there actually people out there who consider "animal towel folding skills" a useful metric for determining a resort's suitability? Then there are the people who complain about a hotel being "too humid' or who are really, really desperate for a wide range of non-buffet restaurants, because for some reason, when they're in Mexico, they simply must taste Japanese food as envisioned by an underpaid Mexican hospitality worker? All I want is grilled fish and tacos. I also suspect, that the differences between the food at the "Italian," "French," or "Japanese" restaurants is on par with the difference between the pancakes at the International House of Pancakes - that is, purely a question of semantics. Finally, why do people on Trip Advisor insist on uploading their PERSONAL PHOTOS? Why do I want to see your snot nosed kid with his arm around the "entertainment" staff like they're best friends (you see "friendly, personable staff", I see "colonialism in action")? Why do I want to see your new bride posing in front of a non-descript hedge that could be anywhere?
Anyway, we're booked now and it's out of my hands. Although apparently Mexican laws have changed and because I had the temerity to not change my name when I got hitched and have a different last name than my son, I might need a signed, notarized letter saying that it's okay for us to be travelling (even though both parents are going)?
This is the time of year when I have mini-apoplectic rages each time I open the mailbox and come across yet another letter addressed to "Mr. & Mrs. The Dotytron" or "Family Dotytron." It is ALWAYS the Dotytron's side of the family. It ALWAYS drives me berserk.
I might have started a flame war with Momma D. Hahaha. She posted this thing from Ben Stein in "reaction" to the White House referring to their Christmas trees as "holiday trees" for the first time ever this year. Anyway, noted scholar and respected cultural critic (snick) Ben Stein allegedly had this to say:
So basically I said on Momma D's Facebook, that Ben Stein DOESN'T BELIEVE IN EVOLUTION (he's also pro-life). Therefore, I don't consider him a reliable authority on well...anything. Furthermore, that saying that things like Hurricane Katrina and other atrocities happen because we've ejected god from schools and our lives is disrespectful and illogical. And that the idea that people can only get their moral compass from god (any god) is outright wrong.
This is how I feel when people get all uppity about you saying "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas":
The Big Yam is standing in for me.
Like seriously? Who cares? GUESS WHAT CHRISTIANS? YOU'RE NOT UNDER ATTACK. Relax. It's so childish to me. Like white supremacy (as a catch-all description) is changing in the wake of acceptance of the fact that we live in a multicultural society and there is a shift in the power dynamics (arguable, in terms of real power), and of course people get all up in arms because for once they're on the receiving end. How do you think all those First Nations that we shipped off to residential schools felt?!? Also, it's just so rich that THIS is an issue for Christmas defenders. Also, there is nothing remotely Christian about Christmas Trees so I feel like the entire Ben Stein essay is based on a faulty premise.
The above photo cracks me up. Poor, poor Miss J. Santa showed up for the party at one of the drop-in centres and that's the Big Yam losing his s**t. We've gotten grief from Momma D about not taking the Big Yam to have his picture taken with Santa, but the photo above encapsulates our opinions on the matter nicely. There is no way in hell that I would ever waste precious minutes of my life on what would be a traumatic experience for all involved. That is why Miss J is both a saint AND worth her weight in gold.
On Saturday we had the Annual Dotytron Family Christmas party, potluck style in Oakville. Nany made devilled eggs and I single-handedly ate at least 10. It was a feast for the ages! There was an unfortunate incident which will forthwith be referred to as "Butter Chicken Gate" but other than that, things went smoothly. Then Lolly and SMckay came over and this happened:
Yes, that is the limited-time special, Pizza Hut Hot Dog Stuffed Crust pizza (we got Canadian). We've decided that SMckay is going to do her co-op placement at Pizza Hut just to find out whether they use one giant long hot dog link or whether it's a bunch of cocktail weenies. Either way, delicious.
Sunday was a lazy, snoozy day. We had a Hanukkah meal with Dr. Rei and Uncle Hanbo. They got us Manischewitz which is basically like sour grape syrup. The meal was braised brisket (I tried a new recipe - Smitten's tangy braised brisket, which I didn't like as much as the brisket bourguignon I made last year), potato & parsnip latkes, and this brussels sprouts & carrot horseradish casserole dealie. I also made us apple cake with whiskey toffee sauce and ice cream.
The Dotytron is participating in a one-day, government sanctioned strike today. We thought it'd be so hilarious if he showed up to picket being like, "Stereotypical Strike Guy" - wearing a worn denim jacket, a fisherman's cap, fingerless gloves, and hauling an empty oil drum in the car to burn stuff in, and bringing an old ghetto blaster to play Bruce Springsteen on. LOL! Picturing him doing that is so funny! I feel like it's short film material.
Last night we had the Dotytron's colleague from last year's school and her husband over for dinner. We had the Chicago deep dish pizza that I had planned on serving on Friday night. Good save, us! With an arugala salad to cut the richness:
Then I had to listen to supremely nerdy classical music talk (one of them is a French horn player, the other one is a violinist). Stuff like: "You try playing a fugue at 14!" or "Like, I feel like he's the closest thing we have to a real, live wizard" (about some conductor I don't know or care about), or "Let's drink all of whatever we have in the house, and listen to Mahler until we pass out!" It was pretty nerdy and I ducked out early because I felt like my presence was just impeding the classical music dorkfest.
Finally, here is a bonus video of the Big Yam doing his legit Mandarin into his racist, fake Mandarin (at the 17 second mark):