Tuesday, November 27, 2012

No, thanks

I moved some furniture around this morning to prepare for the arrival of our Christmas tree, which has been researched TO THE TEETH by a certain Dotytron, desperate to make up for the egregious error that resulted in our scentless tree of 2011.  We have species, people!  No more fake balsam fir incense for us!  Anyway, I set up the Big Yam's stocking and this morning I knelt down and pointed it out to him and told him about how it's going to be filled with presents.  My exact words were, "Santa Claus is going to come on Christmas Eve and he...or she...is going to fill it with presents!"

I look up from my prostrate state to see the Dotytron giving me the sceptical eyes chased with a very emphatic: "Uh, Santa Claus is a guy.  Now you're going too far."  LOL!  To be fair, I was on unsteady ground and I knew it.  Pronoun changing for Santa?  No dice.

We do a lot of pronoun changing when we read the Big Yam stories because I'm trying to fight all the gender conditioning.  Like, why are tugboats and steamships always boys?  Or dinosaurs?  We love the How do Dinosaurs... (Count to Ten, Say Goodnight, etc.) series but all the dinosaurs are always referred to with male pronouns.  So we make a point of alternating pronouns on each page.  I was also so mad about how gendered things like pull-up diapers get that I got him the "girl" ones.  Because you know what?  He doesn't give two s**ts about Diego.  He likes Dora.  So he goes to bed wearing his "Dora dipe-dipes" and loving life.  

The Big Yam has been hilarious lately.  He's all about his "No, thanks!" "No, thanks, Mama," "No, thanks, Baba" lately.   J told me that yesterday she asked him if he wanted to go potty at daycare and he was like, "No, thanks!"  It's so funny.  I'm also happy he's learning some manners through osmosis. 

Last night was a fun, fun night, with a less than fun purpose.  I met up with SMcKay and we grabbed dinner and then went to a visitation for our friend's father-in-law.  We tried this new place: Fancy Franks, because no one loves a good hot dog the way SMcKay and I do.  The concept is simple - you have your base all beef hot dog $4.95 that you either dress up with your own combination of toppings (basic toppings are free, fancy ones are priced like fancy pizza toppings) or go with one of theirs.  I'm a purist, so I went with a Coney dog and then I went all outside with their "Franks got Seoul" which has shredded Korean short ribs and kimchi.  SMcKay got the pizza hot dog, which as you would expect, is a dog covered in tomato sauce, mozzarella cheese, and pepperoni.  We also split an order of fries and I got a vanilla shake.  They also do fresh, Tiny Tom-like donuts, but we were too full by the time we were done.  

The good: the fries are delicious - skinny, not too potato-y, not too crispy - more like flaccid, Montréal diner style fries.  The gravy is gooood...deep, dark, good consistency and probably powdered, which to me, is legit.  I liked both my hot dogs, but I didn't love them.  The chili on the Coney dog was missing some layers. SMcKay loved her pizza dog.  I think ultimately, my problem is with the base dog.  And the price.  The base hot dog is supposed to be an all-beef hot dog, but the texture is so fine and it has the pinkish cast of more of a pork hot dog.  I didn't think the base hot dog had great flavour, for $4.95.  Also, the price.  At Happy Dog, in Cleveland, which kind of sets the bar for this kind of establishment, all hot dogs are $5 with unlimited toppings from an epic list of like, a million.  And the tater tots are all $3 with an epic list of dips from like a million.  Granted, Fancy Franks is a lot well, fancier than Happy Dog, which is a dive of the highest order, but I'm willing to bet the beer selection at Happy Dog puts Fancy Franks to shame.  Anyway, I would go back with kids or with a group of hot dog lovers.  It was good enough on that front, but I might stick to my own topping combinations - or at least try the pizza dog.

Then we hopped into the car for an epic ride out to Etobicoke, which resulted in me listening to a Bruno Mars song and looking for Q-Tips in SMcKay's giant bag of doom so that I could "cauterize" my tongue sores with the bottle of Listerine I was packing.  Luckily, there were some Q-Tips in her bag, because I was nearing the point of applying Listerine to my mouth with a tampon.  Then we got to the visitation and had to fight through a pack of a million Shaugnessey O'Shannahans and then inadvertently cut in front of a million leprachauns to visit with our friends.  Whoops.  Then SMcKay told me that some people don't wear underwear under pantyhose and I was so thoroughly appalled that I had to re-cauterize my mouth sores all over again.  It was a good night.

Tonight for dinner we had slow cooker Italian wedding soup & cheddar, white onion, and mortadella paninis.  It's been the winter of soups and sandwiches around here!


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