Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Parenthood

We were talking with friends recently and the Dotytron said something pretty astute on the topic of parenting.  He was remarking on how it's mind-boggling to him how soon the notion of a double life takes hold in a kid.  The Big Yam just turned two, but he totally leads a double life.  The other day, he started whining when the Dotytron went to pick him up from daycare and J was like, "Master T!" all shocked and surprised and stuff and Dotytron was like, "Um, what. WELCOME TO MY LIFE."  J says the Big Yam never whines at her house.

WHAT MUST THAT BE LIKE?!?

I don't even know.

We've been having major issues with diet and acting up lately.  He's just turned snoopy.  He doesn't want to eat vegetables (but will randomly eat kale chips and sag paneer) and doesn't like to eat anything but meat and carbs.  It's super-frustrating and makes meal times kind of the worst because he starts getting all psycho and throws his plate, placemat and utensils on the floor.  I don't really have any great tips for dealing with this.  We basically just move stuff out of his reach, or tell him that this is what he gets for dinner and that's it, or tell him he can't have the thing he wants (bread or meat) until he has some of the thing he doesn't want.  More often than not, for the past month this has meant that he doesn't eat very much dinner at all and we just treat it really matter-of-factly.  I know the kid's not going to starve.  I'm not going down the path of making two meals or changing our diet to suit his whims.  When he turns into a massive juggalo I turn his high chair around so that we both have a chance to reset and so that I can eat a meal without him being disruptive.

It's a little frustrating but mostly we just try to ignore it.  Last night, he really wanted the biscuit but didn't want the borscht.  So I told him no more biscuit until he had some of the soup.  He pitched his placemat and spoon and then did this monster voice thing.  Then he calmed down and started rooting around in his high chair and somehow found a lump of biscuit that had gotten wedged in there.  He picked it up, examined it and said, "Oh! Little bunny [he was calling the biscuits bunnies for some reason].  This guyyyyy."  We almost died laughing.  Calling the scrap of biscuit "this guy" is so funny.

So yeah, he brings us a lot of happiness.  I know much has been made about the studies that show that people without kids are happier than people with kids (but it's balanced by the fact that people with kids find their lives more rewarding).  I asked the Dotytron a few weeks ago if having the Big Yam in his life made him happier and he gave me the "are you crazy?" look and answered very much in the affirmative.  I don't question my level of happiness with the Big Yam in my life nor do I yearn to go back to my childless state (much).

The other night, I pulled all the pillows off the couch and made a fort/tunnel with blankets and sheets and we made a big mess and acted like idiots and it was profoundly enjoyable.  As was teaching the Big Yam to talk like a robot yesterday.  For every moment of being a psycho there is an equal and opposite moment of being a funny little turd burglar.

I forgot to mention that this weekend will forever go down as the weekend in which my mother in law got mad at me for not liking mincemeat tarts.  We were at her house for a bit and eating these pecan butter tarts she had bought and Momma D was like, "when are you going to learn to make mincemeat tarts?" and I was like, "Uh, I don't like mincemeat."  And she gets all snappy and says, "do you even know what they are? It's beef suet!"  and I'm like, "yeah, but I don't really love dried fruit and I hate raisins" and was given a look of withering incredulousness for my troubles.  I was like, "get one of your own kids to make you mincemeat tarts!" Hahaha, oh outlaw moms.  It's nice to know I'm continuing my streak of striking out with every parental figure I come across.

Tonight I'm going to see Thomas Keller with JJ!  We got the tickets that get us a copy of the Bouchon Bakery cookbook.  I'm excited.

Fin.

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