Thursday, July 05, 2012

Louis CK's Daddy Daycare

These articles have been making the rounds lately (of limited interest to non-parents, maybe?  I don't know, I think it's interesting even if you're not a parent because we're talking about gender inequity, class, ethnicity, through the lens of parenting).

Spoiled Rotten: Why Do Kids Rule the Roost? By Elizabeth Kolbert (in the New Yorker) has the usual complaints about how North American children are so indolent, can't do anything for themselves, are coddled, etc - the usual dirge.  I found the article totally boring and totally obvi and I wasn't a fan of the whole "remote tribe" comparison - uhhh...noble savage AND apples and oranges, much?

Why Women Still Can't Have It All by Anne-Marie Slaughter (in the Atlantic) is a pretty damning and depressing examination of the false promises of 2nd wave feminism and the impossibilities of a work-life balance for women (professional development and our role as parents always having to be sacrificed to each other).  She has a series of suggestions for things that need to change in order for women to have it all and it's a pretty grim picture overall.  First of all, is it weird that I kinda feel like I can totally have it all?  Granted, I'm not a high-powered Washington politico.  I don't have those ambitions, but I have managed to do 90% of a Masters degree that will (hopefully...*crosses fingers and toes* *weak laughter*) help me progress to a more professionally satisfying position and still give me the ability to manage my home life and be a good parent.  It's all so fully of privileged anxieties and naval-gazing for me.  I dunno...I just don't think about it.  I had a mum who worked and who never showed up for school plays or my graduation and I turned out okay (my contentious relationship with my mother is separate from these events).  What does "having it all" mean? If you can only see your kid for a couple of hours a day but you're fully and completely present and aware and with them, then that matters just as much and your kid will be none the poorer for it.  That kind of professional/parental anxiety just doesn't factor into my psyche at all.  I don't generally tend to question or be anxious about my parenting or professional decisions.  But I have a remarkable capacity for resilience, so maybe that's it.  I dunno...I just kinda feel like that's a WP (white person) problem.  LOL!  Just live your life, WPs, just live your life and stop being so neurotic!

This article talks about Louis C.K. and the cult of lowered expectations for fathers.  It's pretty good.  Louis C.K. is such a bada**.  He's funny, he's a feminist, he's circumventing capitalism with his direct-to-consumer mode of selling his's just the best.  He talks about how it's important for dads not to rest on their laurels and just accept the big, shiny gold star you get for just showing up.  Which I agree with.  I was telling the Dotytron about the article and the Dotytron was like, "Ummm...are you telling me this just to tell me or because you think you could actually let go and NOT give me a list and not be a giant control freak?"  Haha.  He knows me so well.

This is all to say that Dotytron Daycare started yesterday and I'm working through trying to not micromanage the process.  It's been cute.  The Dotytron posted a picture of the Big Yam at the beach and when I called just now to call an audible on dinner the two of them were stringing snow peas together, and the Dotytron had to get off the phone in a hurry with the words, "Hey buddy, noooo, don't tear them in half! - *click*"  It's cute picturing that they're going to have their own adventures together and their own bonding time, stringing snow peas and being all cute and whatnot.

My problem is that I'm such a giant micromanager that I have to have things done MY way.  It's something I've got to work on.

The rest of the weekend was lovely.  We had dinner with the Roomie, L'Armi, and Montreal I and baby T at our house and then pulled a blanket onto our neighbours lawn and talked late into the night and listened to the pop of fireworks.  We had a Pizzeria Libretto picnic in Withrow Park with the same crew the next morning and then we had a picnic with our friends B & G at Balmy Beach.  The Big Yam was being AMAZING.  It was perfect.  We set up the sport-brella and hung back and ate and talked while he played a little ways in front of us in the sand.  Because it's just a broad expanse of sand and then the lake and you can see him, it's the perfect spot to bring a kid.  He doesn't get too distracted (as he would if there was playground equipment around) and he can just kind of chill and do his own thing and you can keep an eye on him and get to him in time if he needs it.  Lovely.


Tonight we're getting ready for the cottage.  For dinner we're having zucchini pancakes, corn on the cob, and snowpeas from the CSA.  We also have a tonne of lettuce to use up from the CSA and I'm kind of at a loss of how to do it.  I'll probably bring some to the cottage with us.  


No comments: