The first weekend of dialing back went well and was very manageable and very fun. I may or may not have just spent the last hour of precious Big Yam nap time poring over the Google Calendar and trying to slot in social commitments, but that's just the nature of our beastly lives at the moment.
Here are some shots from Competitive Backyard BBQ. Incidentally, I won the desserts category!!! Wahoo!!!
Then Dr. Rei, Hanbo, the Dotytron and I booked it home to eat secret ribs that I had smoked in the smoker - look at the pink in that stink! THOSE are ribs, my friends. Dry rubbed in my special blend of herbs and spices, smoked for 3 hours (they could have gone for 1 more hour) and then finished on the grill with my chipotle bbq sauce. Served alongside my award-winning potato salad and with Dr. Rei's coleslaw. That's what I'm talkin' about. Right there. All day. Just me.
Our Discerning Coyote friend came by with a lovely card and some delicious oatmeal cookies and I finished the Big Yam's quilt while watching Parks and Recreation on demand. A pretty perfect night if you ask me.
That is, until, I had to put a sleepy, freshly bathed, fleecey-pj'd Big Yam to bed. He was being soooo cute. His Baba would be holding him and when he saw me launched himself out of the Dotytron's arms and wrapped his little arms around my neck and stuck to me the way the octopus sticks to the Professor Frink's face on The Simpsons. Then when it was time to go to bed he was doing his sweet, sweet thing of putting his head to rest on my shoulder and I just got so sad that as I was singing him his bedtime songs I was silently weeping and my salty tears were dripping onto his little duck-fluff head. Then I cried some more in bed. I was crying because he's going to daycare and I have about a week left of maternity leave and I was crying because I thought he was going to forget me and because he was going to miss his afternoon "nai nai" (Cantonese for milk) which he now knows to ask for (accompanied with much tugging at my shirt) and I was crying because I was worried that he would be confused and wonder why we "abandoned" him to Jeannette. TOTALLY TRAGIC.
I've been trying to be a tough guy about going back to work but I'm clearly a wreck. I mean, I AM looking forward to going back to work and putting on real clothes and using that part of my brain and seeing my colleagues, but how am I supposed to leave him every day? How am I supposed to be satisfied with 2 hours with him every night?!? C'est ne pas juste.
Our friend B dropped off wild empire mushrooms his dad foraged in the woods and this morning I sautéed them in butter and mixed them with runny eggs and the Big Yam and I had them with toast. I'm trying to make a conscious effort to savour every moment of this week. My neighbour asked me if I was doing "anything special" with the Big Yam during this week and I was stymied for an answer. I think my approach is going to be to luxuriate in each moment with him and not take on anything crazy; no special, commemorative events or outings, but just make our days and our time together special by being so very conscious of each moment and how much we've grown together this past year.
And...now I'm crying again. What. The. Heck.