That's how many minutes there are in a year (according to the Google calculator, NOT according to the song from Rent.) That's how many minutes young Master T has been in our lives. That's how many minutes we've spent falling in love with this little guy who started as an idea, grew in my tummy, and emerged as him - a fully-formed human being with a pretty amazing personality. A little baby who began with scrawny chicken legs and arms and a low voice who is now a funny, babbling, winding and grinding, almost-walking little Boobla.
Each minute that passes makes you marvel at the point you're at now, while simultaneously being wistful for the the baby that was before. We're looking forward to what kind of ridiculousness he's going to spout once he starts talking, but when I hear him babbling away to himself in the back seat I know I'm going to miss the sounds of his nonsensical pre-verbal musings.
This year has been filled with sweetness and light and bitterness and shadow. Last night, when we started reflecting on the magnitude of what this year has meant for us with the Big Yam, we couldn't also help but have a cry about what we lost, too. I'm so very, very sad that Poppa D didn't get to spend T's 1st birthday with us. I know he would have been over-the-moon and would have loved every minute of it and would have been thrilled to be there to spoil him and laugh at his hijinks. We hadn't had a cry like that in a while and we needed it. The one year marker is a significant one and I was struck anew by how many moments and milestones Poppa D wouldn't get to witness. I really wanted T to experience a grandparents sleepover and going to a ball game with his Poppa and seeing his Poppa cheer him on at school plays and sports games. There is so much about this moment that f**king sucks, even as we're celebrating. I has thought that Thanksgiving would be harder, being the first major holiday without Poppa D, but I'm finding that I'm having a much harder time with the Big Yam's birthday.
Here are some photos from the weekend - for Poppa D.
T wearing his birthday crown & tux
T's birthday cake - a classic golden cake with chocolate frosting (which was too sour, but whatever)
We spent Sunday afternoon playing kickball and touch football with the cousins - this is a scene from the sidelines.
I don't start work until Thursday, so today I'm spending with Momma D and the Big Yam.