Friday, July 15, 2011

Fail.

1st try getting to Cleveland - fail. We're on the Gardiner, in Mississauga, lunch packed (Italian cold cut sandwiches with lots of butter, cherries, butter tarts, ice cold water, chips), tunes blasting, when the Dotytron feels the Captain shift into a higher gear and suddenly we're running at 4000 RPMs. So he pulls off at the Erin Mills Parkway exit and slows down to get it to shift down, and then the car dies. Just stops dead. He tries to turn on the hazards and it makes a weird grinding noise and then everything kaks out. Can't turn the key in the ignition, can't change gears, nothing. We're stuck in the middle lane of the off ramp on a bleeping hot day. We call CAA, he stops traffic so that me and the Big Yam can climb out of the car and wait in an Eggsmart, and then the Dotytron proceeds to deal with shadesball tow truck drivers.

Why are tow truck drivers such lowlifes? Tow Truck Driver #1 (TTD1) shows up, pulls in front of our car, gets into position, and tells the Dotytron that the OPP are going to show up any minute now and will consider the car stopped in the middle lane a safety hazard and will make him get pulled to the shoulder. TTD1 says that he'll cut the Dotytron a special rate to pull him to the shoulder now, but that if he waits until OPP makes him pull over, then he's going to have to charge him full price. Dotytron reports this back to me 'pon the celly and I tell him, "Tell him to go F**K himself." Then, Tow Truck Driver #2 (TTD2) shows up and says to the Dotytron, "Listen, I know TTD1 and he's a crackhead. An actual crackhead. He just sits in his house all day, listening the scanner, waiting for the call. Then he'll take your money, immediately go buy a rock, and then sit doing crack all day. I'll tow you to the side of the road FOR FREE just so TTD1 doesn't get your money." LOL!!!!!!!!! How hilarious is THAT?!??? Then OPP does show up and is saying that TTD1 is already in position and Dotytron's explaining the situation about how TTD1 wants to charge him and TTD2 will do it for free and OPP says that he's aware of the long standing feud between these two and the problem is that TTD2 isn't licensed to tow on the highway (even though we were stopped about 6 feet from Erin Mills Parkway - gah!) and just when things are about to come to a head, CAA shows up and tows our car to our mechanic.

What a shizshow. Meanwhile - Bruce Wayne shows up and gives us all a lift back home. So we stayed home and hung out with the neighbours and I drowned my sorrows by eating 4 (FOUR!!!) hot dogs and half a box of KD. And then we walked to Ed's for ice cream. Needless to say, I watched the final episode of season 2 of Treme feeling VERY thirsty. Haha.

We're hoping our mechanic can have us back on the road (apparently our alternator is blown) and then we'll stay an extra day so that this entire weekend isn't a write off. I just really didn't want to be in Toronto this weekend and moreover, was REALLY looking forward to hanging with H & A.

Fingers crossed.

Tempting the fates cautionary tale - because I'm a novice driver and fear cars, I'm always freaking out whenever I hear the slightest rumble/creak/whathaveyou in the Captain. The Dotytron is always saying that I'm "irrational" and "if something's wrong with a car, you'd know - it appears gradually, it doesn't just die in the middle of road while you're driving." After yesterday, I'm all like, "SEE! SEE!!!!!!!!!" *a million fingers stabbing in his direction*

Ai ya.

Fin.

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