Thursday, July 15, 2010

hello farm, here we come!

eek! so excited to bust out of dodge and head to farm country and R & R acres! ehmdo is joining us up there on saturday...can't wait! i want to go for a canoe ride on the saugreen river and shoot guns (the dotytron already said i'm not allowed) and ride ATVs (the dotytron already said i'm not allowed) and eat (allowed) and read (allowed) and do farmy type things (allowed).

so the dotytron is signing his contract with the TDSB today! wahoo! and joy of joys, the other private school he likes has agreed to continue to have him on for morning work. wahoo! now he just has to negotiate a raise or something. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?!? this means that conceivably, for the first time since starting our respective second career strategies, WE'LL BOTH BE MAKING FULL-TIME MONEY. wahoo! well, technically only for like, 3 months until i go on my mat leave, but still. wahoo! wahoo! wahoo! it's going to be a hard year for the ol' dotytron though. he basically has 45 minutes between schools and he's teaching a full course load at both, and at the private school, he's teaching grade 8 science (we kind of thought they would just have him on for music, but no). the 45 minutes will mostly be taken up with travel time. in a lot of ways, it's harder than if he had tried to duke it out and get by with supply teaching - at least he would have had a bit more flexibility to hang with me and the fatburger...but this is good. he can do this.

i mean, it's not like it's going to be that hard for me. contrary to what my academic book club would have you believe. as i told the dotytron last night, "those honky grandmas be trippin'!" j/k. they're all really lovely. and i don't actually believe that it's going to be easy for me. i just don't like going to into things assuming it's going to be all THAT hard.

they just have a different approach than i do. ultimately, it's whatever you're comfortable with, but i just don't personally see the point of reading all the books on WHAT-IF and WHAT-TO-DO-WHEN scenarios NOW before the little one appears. that to me, is a recipe for stressball city, and i just think that life in general is SO FRAUGHT and there's no way to predict all the little and big curve balls that COULD be thrown at you - i mean, i'd rather meet the little fatburger and then see what's what with him before going into research mode. like, if he starts acting weird and i suspect autism, THEN i'll go into research mode, instead of preemptively scaring the pants off myself and worrying unnecessarily.

my friend C in the book club is doing a tonne of research before her baby is born. she wants to be armed and ready with research when she's sleep deprived because her mum is staying with her and she said her mum has all kinds of crazy ideas about parenting that she wants to be able to refute with studies and her research. so i asked what kind of crazy ideas her mum had, and C said that her mum believes that all babies are manipulative from birth, and that you can't go running to them all the time and that you have to set them up on a feeding schedule and NOT feed on demand. C said that all the books she's said refute her mom's advice and when she brought it up at her prenatal class everyone laughed at her mom's opinion and said it was crazy.

well, guess what? I AGREE WITH C'S MOM! babies are terrorists! and i DO NOT negotiate with terrorists! i'm also not about to be bullied by someone I DON'T KNOW. babies ARE manipulative! they're self-interested, the way we all are. and i just feel like you kind of have to get them onto your schedule or else you end up in attachment parenting/how-do-i-wean-my-4-year-old-off-of-night-feedings land. get the little bugger on a schedule that makes sense for your own life, so you're not a no-sleep boob machine, with some flexibility built in.

then the other part of me feels like by NOT researching like crazy i'm tempting the fates and that the other shoe is going to drop and the little fatburger is going to be nothing but trouble and colicky or have any number of other issues. that's stupid superstitious, right? i dunno! *knocks a billion pieces of wood nervously* i'm not being flippant. i'm not being smug. there are tonnes of things that can/will/probably go sideways - i'm just going to face them when they're presented and not before.

how can the books tell you anything that works? that's why people have to read so many. it's not like babies/people are like simple machines. they're incredibly complex machines. that's why you only have to read ONCE about how to install a light fixture or how to fix your fridge. but with people? to me, that's like reading a book on "how to be in a relationship with the dotytron" - like, him specifically. that's what's happening here. there's no way of knowing what the little being is going to be like, want, need, what their personality is going to be - so what's the point of reading books on how to manage it? i've learned how to be in a relationship with the dotytron by being in a bunch of relationships. i've learned how to i, karl lagerfeld esquire, exist in a relationship. and i think our whole lives have been about preparing us to be us, and then as an extension, us in various scenarios. us as workers, us as colleagues, as friends, as sons/daughters/aunts/uncles and now, parents.

life is a crazy roller coaster. you just have to faith and hope for the best and feel grateful for when things go your way for a bit and be strong when things don't go your way for a bit. be worthy of love. and give love in return.

that's my parenting book. right there.

on a less serious-o note. the dotytron makes me laugh like no one else. as you may or may not know, i'm the budgeter in the family. i do the all the financial wrangling and budget-setting. this summer, the dotytron is getting one paycheque from the one private school which covers all his fixed expenses and making up the rest with his private lessons. anyway, with my super-conservative budgeting, it basically left him with like, $20 spending money for july and august.

i was doing the number crunching yesterday and it turns out that we have a little more scrilla than i had anticipated. so this is how the exchange goes down:

me: "guess what? i did the number crunching and it looks like you'll have more scrilla than we had originally thought!"
dotytron: "sweet! i'm going to buy myself a gujin!"
[note: he's wanted a gujin for a long time. they cost about $800]
me: "well, don't get too excited, it's only like, a few hunny more"
dotytron, continuing as if i hadn't said anything:
"a $24 gujin.
...in the form of a lapel pin"

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol! does anyone else find that funny? so funny!

in other news, s-dawg has been pissing me off lately. he just likes to complicate things for the sake of complicating things, but without getting in on the ground level.

so he waits for a plan to get organized, and then SWEEPS IN WITH HIS OWN AGENDA and changes everything. it's intensely irritating.

here's how it went down.

1) dr. rei, hanbo, and a bunch of us had been talking for the past couple of months about going to see the blue jays game in the AYCE seats. i had also invited our cleveland friends H & A to come too, but they're out of town that weekend.

2) i realized that the game is the day after we come back from the cottage so i send out an email to my fam outlining that these were the plans i had in play and wondering what my sis was saying (if she and the fam were heading out early, etc.) and if they wanted to join in if they were staying in town for the day.

3) then my mum busts in out of nowhere and says we have family in town (family i barely know) and we should take them out for dinner

4) i'm like, uh, not really - i'd rather do something fun with my friends before my birthday on the long weekend, i was just checking to see what the general plans were so it wasn't the USUAL disorganized CF it always is with my family

5) then big d busts in and says we have no plans with family (lol!)

6) then my sis says she's in. and the outlaw bro is in. but what to do with the kids?

7) i don't want to re-number these, but point #3 should really say that c-hova says he's going to see drake and is out

8) my mum volunteers to watch the kids.

9) s-dawg busts in and says that he can get us seats at the 1st or 3rd baseline, 4 rows up and that the kids would have fun at the game, too.

10) i say: great! so we can all go to the game together!

11) s-dawg then says that he can't get tix for everyone, just the family.

12) my mum then decides that she wants to spend time with the fam-bam so she's going to come now

12) i ask s-dawg why he's trying to plan a SEPARATE, personal family outing when the original plan was based on me wanting to combine both things and get everyone together

imo, s-dawg is just complicating things for the sake of complicating things and hi-jacking the original plan. in his opinion - i'm throwing a "hissy fit" because people aren't going along with my plan. i think this is a spurious accusation because a) with my plan, we all get to do the same thing and hang out together; and b) the original plan was MY PLAN!

i liken it to this: last week when s-dawg had plans to see the UFC game with his friends, he invited us along. if we had then decided that we didn't want to watch the UFC game at bo-pie and then split off to watch the game from montana's because they had a bigger screen, leaving the friends he had ORIGINATED the plan with at bo-pie, that would have been a bit of a hi-jacking and rude. that's what i feel is being done here.

in the end, it looks like we'll all be at the game, but my family will be in the blinging seats and me and the dotytron etc. will be in the nosebleed seats pigging out on hot dogs and nachos. it's probably for the best because i care about baseball only marginally more than i care about the world cup and i'm really in it to sit in the sun and hang out and stuff my face with people i like. bonus: dr. rei's dad might be joining us too! it just sucks that i won't get to sit with my sis and her family.

anyway, he's been really bugging me lately (there was a whole incident with my cell phone that i never bothered recounting here) so i'm just kind off him at the moment.

in less drama news - there will be minimal to no drama at the farm and i'm mucho looking forward to it.

have a nice weekend everyone!

fin.

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