Wednesday, June 09, 2010

out of wack

i feel all out of wack when the dotytron isn't home. mostly because our morning routine is being disrupted.

the morning routine consists of the dotytron emailing/futzing around on the computer, and me coming in, standing behind him, flossing my teeth, and asking: "who are you talking to?" or "are you watching porn?"

he gets really upset because a) he hates it when i floss my teeth anywhere near him and ESPECIALLY in his studio/office; b) he hates when i ask him "who are you talking to?" and "are you watching porn?" when he's doing random internet-ing because he really just wants to be able to internet in peace, without me being obnoxious barking questions at him through a barrage of floss-loosened plaque particles from behind his chair.

also, i left the house yesterday without locking the door by accident, which means that me being scared to be home alone went into overdrive and i had to go through every room/closet/crawlspace in the house with a cell phone in one hand and a butcher knife in the other, ready to carve up any interloper to pieces.

finally, when the dotytron isn't home and smudgie can't sleep on his chest, he likes to sleep ON MY HEAD which is annoying, because i keep waking up to find his fuzzy grey butt has encroached more and more on the pillow and that i'm being pushed down toward the foot of the bed.

academic book club was a riot. i wish you could have seen the spread i laid out but one of the ladies showed up early just as i was putting the finishing touches on the table. ultimately, "twilight" worked as a pick and provided a lot of grist for the mill. we ventured into a lengthy discussion of mormonism too (the author is a mormon), which was fascinating.

now, we all know i'm all over YA fiction, but i found the "twilight" series to be puzzling in its extreme popularity. the messages we're sending! i find it anti-feminist and it seems to advocate sex-negative (chastity!), creepy, possessive, stalker-y behavior from edward that wouldn't fly if he WASN'T a vampire, and barely flies even with that caveat. bella is pretty annoying. she's kind of a whiner who treats her "friends" in forks, WA (where she ends up after moving from phoenix) who are nothing more than welcoming and inclusive, as disposable placeholders that she doesn't care about or even deign to interact with, UNLESS her stupid edward is around.

i mean, it's a quick read, but NOTHING HAPPENS. the first 3/4 is ALL STARING and longing and kind of boring with edward being intensely moody and a creep who watches her while she sleeps and acts like it's the most natural thing in the world, instead of a gross invasion of privacy. also, every other line in the book is about how devastatingly handsome he his, even though his flesh is cold and hard and marble like (we thought that meant he was the human embodiment of a phallus - a cold one.) i'm sorry, but it doesn't sound fun to me AT ALL to snuggle up to someone who's icy cold and totally pretentious. also, i think robert pattinson was totally mis-cast. when you think dreamboat, do you think of that guy? i certainly don't.

i'm not sure what our next book is going to be, but i'm excited for it.

tomorrow night is the first round of dodgeball playoffs. we're 3rd ranked right now and we're facing off against the #2 team. if we win, we get to go for #1! what a comeback story (if we win.)

last week after the game i went with my bro and fraser and her fiancée davey (who were nice enough to sub in for us) to boston pizza (or, bo-pie as i like to call it.) i've been VERY disparaging of boston pizza in the past, and frequently like to espouse my opinion that likens their pizza to that made in an english pub, that is, a place where making pizza is obviously an afterthought. if you go after a game and mention that you're from the league though, you get a free order of their cactus cut chips which are REALLY good. think fresh kettle chips with a spicy dipping sauce. i also ordered a buffalo chicken sandwich which was quite good and fraser and davey split a perogy pizza which actually looked very appetizing. it features the cactus cut chips on a thin round of pizza dough, with cheddar cheese, mozzarella, bacon bits and a blob of sour cream. if we go back i'm totally getting that. i was also intensely jazzed to win $10 in bo-pie money playing musical bingo.

i've crowed about winning the $10 so many times this week that i've worn out the dotytron's initial (pitying) enthusiasm and now he just gives me looks of withering pity at how small the prize has to be for me to exult in winning.

i really, really, really love winning, okay?

fin.

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