Friday, April 23, 2010

introducing...

my new recreational dodgeball team, the admiral akbars, who acquitted themselves admirably yesterday in their first TWO games (we got scheduled with a double-header.) we got spanked the first game and doled out some spankings in game two. amazing!!! it was so much fun to play with people who are all kind of good friends/grown-ups/adults/good sports. it's the best when the only poor sport you have to worry about is me trash-talking my little keister off on the sidelines.

our first game was a rough one as no one except for me and the dotytron had played before...some of our skater high school crew were totally taken off guard by how much of a cardio workout it is when you're hustling. our buddy gaz turned to me at one point, sweating and huffing, and asked, "ummm...isn't this game played in quarters?!? when do we get a break?" and i had to inform him that we play straight through. we were down a few people so we didn't have enough subs, which would have helped. the first team totally docked us spirit points too, which was hella annoying and totally a beginner's pettiness - considering they won like 16 to 4 - really? you're going to be giant babies about the spirit points?

the second team was a total team of n00bs, which is fine, but they were classic n00bs who LOVE LOVE LOVE to know selective rules of the game and call you on the ones that they know. SO ANNOYING. i talked it over with their team captain in the beginning who agreed that all headshots would be an out (the thrower is out if it hits you in the head.) normally, more experienced teams just call head shots a wash, because when someone is ducking and gets hit in the head, then it turns into an argument about whether or not it was an actual headshot, etc. i offered them the headshots is a wash option during the pre-game captain parlay, and they declined. so at one point, our buddy gets hit in the head when he was ducking and we called the thrower off the court and the other team is all like, "ummmm, he was ducking!" and i'm like, "UMMMMM...YOU GUYS ASKED FOR THIS!" lol!!! i hate n00b teams. like, know the rules...and don't get upset when WE know the rules.

the other best thing about my new team is that they're all gainfully employed and pay you right away for the dball registration. SO ACES.

also introducing, MY NAME IN A ROUTLEDGE BOOK:

this is the book that our friends (and my former profs) J & S wrote - the book launch was a huge deal! i'm so proud of them! even though i did barely any work they were so sweet and wrote my name in the acknowledgements, which means that MY NAME IS IN A BOOK PUBLISHED BY ROUTLEDGE and IN A SERIES EDITED BY A PRETTY EFFIN' BIG HEAVY-HITTER IN THE SOCIOLOGY OF CULTURE WORLD. whaa whaa!

the book launch was swinging cuz it was at the munk centre for international studies and apparently they have a zillion dollars at their disposal, so free wines and drinks and good canapes and a lot of them. J & S were also totally adorable and gave me a shout out in their thank yous at the book launch which was ever-so-lovely but made me feel like crap because it was so completely unwarranted...seriously...i barely did A THING. but they were so gracious about it.

i'm so glad i know those guys! we had dinner with L and J & S at tacos al asador (i know, my second time in as many nights) where i stuffed myself with FOUR items, before the game (chorizo tostada, chorizo soft taco, al pastor soft taco, and pork crispy taco - yum yum!)

the dotytron had met me in the afternoon because i took the afternoon off to go to an appointment and he wanted to go with me...which brings me to the last introduction of today...

INTRODUCING...

THE FATBURGER AKA SPUMANTE BAMBINO:





CRAZY, EH?!??? i'm not going to be one of those crazies who posts all this shiz non-stop about being knocked up and loving my midwife on facebook, but since my readership here only consists of good friends and family (and strangers) - i figured it be good to have a centralized place for this ish. i'm way more comfortable with people close to me, or strangers, knowing my business than acquaintances and facebook friends-types...like the people you kinda know but don't want knowing too much about your ish, 'naw mean?

so yeah, i'm knocked up...passed the 12 week milestone yesterday, but we've still got to go through genetic testing to make sure it's not a centaur or a unicorn (or a seedy samurai, or omarion) in there. incubating a bambino is enough to make you lose your mind if you're a hypochondriac. seriously...i've been obsessing over the photo trying to see if i can detect any weirdness, and since the fatburger looks like a giant blobby shrimp (but NOT a b.c. spot prawn, which was the associative metaphor i was trying to use because it's really b.c. spot prawn size and not shrimp sized, that is until i realized that i REALLY LOVE EATING b.c. spot prawns and therefore associating the fatburger with things i love to eat wasn't the best idea), it's really easy to find abnormalities.

whatever will happen will happen. it's a goddamn miracle that the dotytron has got it. it'll be a goddamn miracle when and if this thing comes out okay. and it'll be a goddamn miracle if it makes it to my age. seriously. life is a confluence of miracles and accidents narrowly averted to get you to wherever you happen to be at. an endless string of potential hazards (physiological, mental, environmental, emotional) that you want to be protected from and that you DEFINITELY want to protect your potential progeny from. so fraught. it's a wonder people do this crazy business of parenting and child-rearing at all.

the only way i can manage is to not think about it and not try to come to terms with the fact that i'm going to be responsible for something FOR LIFE and focus on the stuff i know i can control, like list-making, and conceptualizing the fatburger's room decor and thinking about linens. ha! that i can do.

i also find it hard to match people's enthusiasm. i think it's cuz i process stuff super-quickly. so whereas i can revel in the details of everyone else's momentous life events (marriage, home ownership, relationships, parenthood) when it comes to my own stuff, i'm like, "i've processed this...carry on...next." like i find talking about myself extremely boring. i love any forum to sound off on OTHER STUFF (ie. offer unsolicited advice/opinions on/to all and sundry) but when it comes to this stuff (getting hitched, having a bambino) i don't super love talking about it non-stop other than to touch on it (and my specific experience) briefly.

all part of me hating to be defined, i guess. the roomie and the dotytron are calling it me "being at war with the pregnancy" cuz i hate being defined by something that feels like it's happening TO ME kind of against my will. so far i've been pretty lucky, no sickness, no nausea, food aversions, headaches **knock wood x 100000000000000** just tiredness. but i already hate the way that people treat you like you're going to break at any second and i also feel like this is an INCREDIBLY raw deal for women and women's bodies. i don't want to be a ginormous whale criss-crossed with a network of varicose veins and swollen bits (even if dr. rei's sage advice is: at a certain point/age, it's best not to look too closely at other people in general, and women's legs in particular.) i don't want to be not able to run and play dodgeball into the summer. don't want it!

also, the idea of being at home with a BABY for a full year is giving me chills. nothing but baby talk? no workplace gossip? nothing to research? oy oy oy.

anyway, so that's what it looks like at 12 weeks. crazy, eh? we'll see what the results of the genetic screening are. wish us good health and send good vibes our way!

tonight we're having dinner with the work girls, G, M, K, their respective menfolk and G and M's adorable sons at M's parents' chinese restaurant in markham, which is known for their peking duck. i'm THRILLED and super-excited for the eats and the hangs.

fin.

3 comments:

Nicole said...

sending you good vibes x100000000000000

dr. rei said...

el nino!!!!!!!1 what a little spumante bambino.

Chris said...

Congratulations!! That's one good-looking fetus.
Chris