Friday, April 16, 2010

denouement

so brandon davis kept emailing my work email yesterday - like twice with random questions and then the last time saying something like, "i think i need some research done by _____" (my branch)

i decided to treat it like any other research request sent directly to me and responded with the standard response indicating that we would be more than happy to accommodate his research request and he could contact our general phone line or our general email address with the details of his query. i also included the standard closer that we request that clients refrain from contacting staff directly with research because the general email and reference line are constantly monitored and therefore prevents questions getting lost due to staff being away from their desks, on vacation, etc.

then he responds with an equally formal email thanking me.

five minutes later i get THIS sent to my personal email:

"since i have both addresses .. i'll write to the one that is your junk accoutn and the one that's your fun account - as i don't know which is which.
why don't you come visit me for 15 mins. we're in the same freak'n building. you have nothing to lose.
it would be nice to chat. for me anyway - based on the stimulating grilled cheese, fries and burger king convos."

UGH. SO DESPERATE. he's oozing oily gobs and desperation laced sebum. it's disgusting.

so i finally took the gloves off and replied with the following:

"listen dudebro [thanks, bwonger!],

i'm not trying to be rude, but your attempts to get your mack on are really being directed at the wrong person. whatever you think i am, whatever you think i'm susceptible to, you have it ALL wrong. i don't know how i can be more explicit, but you're really, really, not my type.

i really enjoy my work here and i like the people around me, and like i said, i'm not interested in complicating things, ESPECIALLY with someone who i can tell i don't have anything in common with.

i prefer to keep my work life and my social life separate and distinct.

i would prefer to stay on friendly terms with you (as i would all the people at work) but i fail to see what good could come out of me visiting you, especially since you've been so ham-fisted and transparent with your attempts to hit on me and have corrupted what could have been a perfectly pleasant, cordial relationship.

i'm guessing your technique must work with some ladies, but you're totally barking up the wrong tree, bud.

i would appreciate it if you don't attempt to contact me again.

cheers,
kl"

which must have gotten the point across, because i received this:

"Sure. Not a problem at all karl.
I appreciate the honesty."

and thus ends my one week torrid affair with a media personality. i would like to receive some daps for using the word "ham-fisted" in a shut-down email, por favor.

i should have figured that when a dude comes onto you with the force and subtlety of a mack truck, the only thing that works is a brick in a pillowcase - not the civility of a white-gloved approach.



this is last night's dinner. the pickled beets and tomato-cucumber-red onion salad were delicious, but nothing trumps my homemade falafel balls. i know i've crowed about them before, but i can't help it - they're as good as any i've had out. i think it's time for me to start getting a bit more adventurous with with the legumes though. at borough market in london i had an amazing falafel made with some kind of green pea. it was delicious. i put shredded lettuce and avocado in the falafels with the tahini lemon sauce (tahini with lemon, minced garlic, salt and pepper, thinned with water) and some hot sauce on top. so good!

my t-fal ez clean deep fryer decided his time had come and shuffled off into the countertop appliance room in the sky, last night. so i poured the oil i had saved into my enameled cast iron pot and then promptly wondered why i ever thought a deep fryer was so awesome in the first place. i mean, i guess the best thing about it is that it gives you a thing to store the oil in, but to be perfectly honest, it's a plastic tray that gets manky and is impossible to de-grease. so i think i'm going to pick up a few gallon jars and store my fryer oil in that...easy peasy and easier to clean since glass is completely impermeable and unlike plastic, doesn't share so many properties with oil.

i wouldn't mind getting another enameled cast iron dutch oven though. i've got a bunch of williams sonoma money burning a hole in my wallet so i think i'm going to invest in a new immersion blender and maybe a cast iron dutch oven?

today is my day off. i'm meeting a new family doctor, doing some small cleaning bits around the house and then going for a massage. an ikea mission tonight and then heading to bwong's to fam-up with goosetang and eat burgers at jetsun's juicy burger. i'm a little skeptical of this place. they call their fries homecut but from the photo, that ain't not homecut bizness. also, not a single review on yelp? hrm...

fin.

1 comment:

dr. rei said...

LOL i can't believe it had to come to this! poor bastard...loooooool at those brandon davis pics in the previous post. hahahah oh man.