Thursday, April 15, 2010

as dr. rei would say...

...what a dangler.

the saga continues...but my mum (who actually reads this thing!) is making me paro so let's say that i'm being hit on by kid cudi (i've changed the info in the previous post to reflect that.) TBH - if i was being hit on by the real kid cudi (or TI) let's say there there isn't a force in this universe that would keep me from getting all up in there. marriage vows be damned! to be more accurate, it's like i'm getting hit on by michael buble, but it's so gross that for my own peace of mind while i'm writing this, let's just say kid cudi.

so yesterday morning during my break i go to my personal email (i'm trying to get this shiz off the work servers) and send this polite, and i would argue fairly clear, missive:

"sounds like you've got a fully stocked bar in your office - it's a wonder you get any work done!
again, thanks for the interest but i don't think we have much in common - you're too much of a grown-up for me. i'll see you around"

MEANWHILE kid cudi has ALREADY emailed me at work attempting to "clarify" yesterday's "coffee metaphor" email and say that he didn't mean anything "dirty" - so i tell him to check his gmail, thinking that's the end of that.

BUT IT'S NOT!!! the dangler actually responded:

"what you mean is i'm probably too immature and playful and you have too many guys like that already !!!! or, you just insulted me by saying i'm too old for you. ;)
hmm...."

so i'm like, IS HE KIDDING OR WHAT? what the eff is wrong with this sad-sack?

and later on in the day i respond:

"with all due respect, you're too old for me - i don't fraternize with guys in suits - i like my guys in hoodies and stan smiths." (the stan smiths and hoodies is a shout-out to my boo, the dotytron, who really does look good in stan smiths - loves ya, you big lug!)

at which point, it couldn't be MORE done, right? that's assuming you're a normal, decent person and not the sleazoid of the next millenium. because brandon davis over here actually SENT AN EMAIL BACK:

"ouch. cold. you said it wasn't a THUMP.
ha ..
first .. i don't wear suits outside work ya know.
i have FOUR muthahfuck'n hoodies.
and i've never been accused of being too old.
too rough .. maybe. but never too old.
but i suppose younger women can't always handle that.
no worries. you are hot. and nice. thought i'd see what happened.
i need to go have a nap and lubricate my dentures."

WHAT A DANGLER. can i repeat that? WHAT A DANGLER. i just TOTALLY realized how apt my brandon davis analogy is. brandon davis, if you remember, is the giant greazeball who famously called lindsay lohan a "firecrotch" and even more recently accused mischa barton of being a "heffer" even though he not too long ago looked like this:

the best thing about googling brandon davis images is that you find THIS gem:

lol x 10000000000000000000.

ANYWAY, WHO WRITES THAT SHIZ?!??! reading the words "FOUR muthahfuck'n hoodies" and picturing THAT GUY writing them just makes you feel SO AWKWARD. it's like a very white, suburban mom trying to say stuff like "owned" or "hood rat" you just feel bad for them.

dr. rei has been hilarious - i forwarded her the emails and she's like, "ummm...the hoodies is a METAPHOR, obviously...an ACTUAL metaphor unlike your stupid coffee one"

lol!!! at this point, the emails have been forwarded to so many people, that i thought of the most hilarious way to shut this guy down for good. the best would be for DR. REI to respond to brandon davis here, IN THE FORWARDED CHAIN (so he knows it's been sent around) and interject herself into the conversation with:

ummmm...what do you MEAN by "rough"?
- dr. rei

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOW FUNNY WOULD THAT BE?!???!!!!? we died laughing over dinner just thinking about it. the dotytron thinks it's going to be the most effective shut down.

so i was going to ignore it but the guy kept sending me emails - little one liners being "should i email your work or your personal email" and i'm like "dude, you're not giving up are you?" and he's like, "no."

i'm going to stop responding. i'm going to be like, "dude, you're wack and a dangler, i'm not going to respond to any more of your smarmy, creepy emails" and block the m-fer already or report it as spam.

last night we met up with dr. rei for dinner at kenzo ramen. we had been to the kenzo up in north york with bwong before and it was so good. the downtown location (assuming it's the same chain) is equally delicious.

we split an order of meaty, tender, gingery gyoza in delicate wrappers:

the dotytron ordered the "king of kings" ramen:

which has a bunch of stuff in it (pork, seaweed, etc.) and is spicy. it's one of the most popular ones.

i ordered the tonkotsu, which has a few thick slices of braised pork, half of a soft-boiled egg, and a mess of bean sprouts and scallions, in a milky, delicate, faintly sweet broth:

the portions of ramen are HUGE! on the side you get a little personal shaker of togarashi to spice things up a bit. so good!

our seats for the symphony were pretty awesome! ground floor, centre. guys, the toronto symphony orchestra is kind of the best and it deserves your love and support. they're doing a 3 night series featuring jean sibelius' 7 symphonies played in sequential order. we saw the 1st and 2nd symphony. i prefer the second. orchestras are so cool! i love oboes and bassoons and double bass and cello the best. the sound was impeccable inside of roy thompson hall. they ended up recording the show and they're going to be broadcasting it on cbc 2.

i really enjoyed it - even if i did aggravate the dotytron by asking what it IS exactly that makes the first violinist so the bomb and why having the conductor is such a big deal - the musicians aren't even LOOKING at him. as i said, a "forte is a forte" to which the dotytron responded with a big rollseyes and exasperated explanation which resulted in me saying, "you don't have to be so defensive you know"
and him responding, "and YOU don't have to keep acting like a symphony isn't a big deal" lol!

tonight for dinner we're having homemade falafels with a tahini lemon sauce, pickled beets, and tomato cucumber mint salad. refreshing!

fin.

1 comment:

kitsch:in:sync said...

lolololol can't believe this dude is being such a dudebro. you HAVE to keep this thing going just for the blog content. moar email stringz plz!

i can't believe stuff like this happens. i blame season dvds of madmen.