Saturday, November 21, 2009

new moon

omg, it was bucksauce. i was the one with the tickets and of COURSE i left them at home and didn't realize it until we were halfway there (we biked) and then had to zoom back home and grab them. there was an insane mad dash for seats so we ended up sitting in the front 3 rows, but it wasn't that bad because we were at the farthest back of the front 3. it kind of made it better that we were there - in the end we were glad we saw it together at the scotia theatre, which is always such a gonger.

okay, this movie is WAY better than twilight because they obviously had more money but it's STILL incredibly terrible. i'm glad there were other people there watching it for the campy value because we were totally laughing at inappropriate parts and repeatedly saying, "WHAT THE F**K" out loud - in other words, being the scourge of 14 year old girls in the theatre who probably wanted to murder us.

kristin stewart is a terrible actress. she's AWFUL in this role. unfortunately, her acting isn't helped by the fact that she's got a bit of a dummy face because she has rabbit teeth and when her face is at rest, her mouth hangs open, slack. there was WAY too much forced stuttering and heavy breathing, and her screaming during the "night terrors" elicited more than a few belly laughs. robert pattinson is also TERRIBLE. he's supposed to be ATTRACTIVE, right? he always looks like he's wearing way too much makeup, but i think that's what prepubescent girls must go for (remember leo dicaprio's heavy pancake foundation in "titanic," or zac efron every day of his life?) taylor lautner does the best job out of all of them, but his performance is definitely hampered by his baby face and when he gets saddled with the dances-with-wolves hair pre-wolfing out.

this film franchise also sends the most UNBELIEVABLY sexist, inappropriate, and awful example for young girls. a) it's basically a giant treatise for marrying young and chastity. b) bella has NO definition outside of her love for and being loved by, edward. it's insulting. she's always letting HIM drive her car! and all she does is get into situations where one alpha male or another has to "protect" her. c) bella is stupid (as dr. rei said, "how come she doesn't remember the important part of the story but all she can remember is the quaaludes or whatever" and she spends way too much time heavy breathing (seriously, kristin stewart - you can't even acting cry?!??) or forcing a weird stammer. d) she's a first-class B who has NO FRIENDS outside of whatever guy happens to be "protecting" her, and uses her seemingly perfectly decent, normal, and nice high school friends whenever she gets dumped, and finally e) she's unbelievably vapid and superficial - all she cares about is that she not age and become "old" and hideous and that she stay perpetually young and nubile for edward, who incidentally IS REALLY OLD. as one of my favorite authors, john green says on his blog, sparksflyup, edward is a pedophile: "The reason it's wrong for old people to have sexual relationships with children is not because we old people LOOK old. It's because we ARE old." lol! so true!

anyway, the CGI wolves are pretty awesome as are the totally detached and bored volturi, especially the one who sits on the left who looks like vigo from "ghostbusters 2":

the point is, we kept the tradition alive by seeing it all together and it gave us a lot of fodder for laughing.

today is a predictably busy day with a zillion errands and then saturday night supper club at L's house - she's making moroccan food.

fin.

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