Tuesday, October 27, 2009

diaries of a hypochondriac

so the question on everyone's lips (or, facebook statuses) this season is: to get the h1n1 shot or not to get the h1n1 shot?

i think i've got a fairly good immune system. i don't like to advertise this fact, lest the fates strike me down for my impudence, but...i've never had the flu. the dotytron has and i've bathed in his virulent juices by sleeping in the same (double!) bed with him while he's been sick, and i've never gotten it. my secret is that come winter, i eat 2 grapefruits, 1 banana, and an apple almost every day. i also drink a glass of o.j. every day. and generally (popeye's chicken notwithstanding) eat healthy, home-cooked, veggie-present meals.

the last time i got really sick was when i had bronchitis like, 7 years ago. i was working at bymark then as the day hot apps person so i worked through the increasingly ragged cough for 3 weeks. then, by the time i went to the doctor, she said that my phlegm had changed back to normal so there was no point prescribing me penicillin as i was already on the mend. is my immune system basically a biological double for jesse ventura's character blain in "predator"? "i ain't go time to bleed" = "i ain't got time to get sick"???

the problem is: i'm a hypochondriac (no surprise for faithful readers - i'm a self-aware hypochondriac, at the very least). so while i'm usually fine with my decision to forgo the seasonal flu shot - this h1n1 stuff is scaring the crap outta me because i'm in a RISK group! it strikes healthy people! women more likely to die! HEALTHY WOMEN more likely to contract a more virulent case that will require more aggressive treatment! as i was joking to my male doppelganger, A, i need a hypochondriac vector on the WHO statistics, or a lens, or like an applet that i can run - a hypochondriac google translate was his suggestion. lol!

so i don't know quite yet what i'm going to do. i'm going to send the dotytron to get the seasonal one AND the h1n1 because he's around filthy, disgusting, grubby children all day and that's basically like spending your time simmering in the pus from scabrous boils(golly, do i have the maternal instinct or what?!)

i'm not really getting the hang of this whole, "cooking for 2" thing. we're swimming in leftovers. so i have to get over my innate aversion to eating things twice. this means that last night i ate leftover farfalle in the creamy squash sauce with herbs and tonight i'm planning on tucking into another round of creamed chicken stew with dill dumplings. truth be told, with leftovers like these, it's no hardship having a second go.

i had a talk with my film friend D about "where the wild things are" - he really didn't like it. he said that a) he hated the soundtrack (it's hilarious talking to him about it because he has no idea who karen o is) and talked about how he hated the keening, one voice vocals and how he doesn't know from pop music (the funny thing is, the dotytron had exactly the same opinion and he DOES know from pop music). he brought up some things i agreed with - how the pseudo-freudian notes were out of place in the film...and he talked about how his favorite image in the book is when max goes to bed without his supper, and the walls come crashing down and the ocean comes in - and how in the hands of a director like spike jonze, that would have been a lovely scene. instead what you get is a max running away in the night and a strange boat appearing out of nowhere. i think upon revisiting, i would say that's it's an unsuccessful children's film AND an unsuccessful adult film, with some funny moments.

last night we watched "anvil: the story of anvil" it's a documentary about this band, anvil, that reached it's zenith in the early 80s and served as a total inspiration for megadeath, anthrax, gun's'roses, etc but never achieved the same fame and then fell off the radar. the two principals, "lips" and robb reiner, have continued to put out record after record, playing to crowds of like, 40 in sudbury and the documentary follows their attempts to record their 13th album and make a last stab at success at the age of 50. it's really, really, great. so entertaining - it's like metallica's "some kind of monster" but like, good, because they're real people and not total wads like lars ulrich and you actually care about their process.

guys, can anyone BELIEVE how much of a wad lars ulrich is? every time i see that guy or hear him speak i want to spit in his mouth.

"anvil: the story of anvil" is really great - i highly recommend it. it made the dotytron cry because nothing gets to the dotytron more than talented, well-meaning musicians trying to eke out a living in this crazy world. also, it features a brief appearance by scott ian from anthrax, who i've always had a soft spot for because he KILLED an episode of rock'n'roll jeopardy i saw once. he was really smart! anyway, you become so invested in anvil's success (they're actually REALLY good if you like that kind of classic, shredding, super-fast metal sound) that we went upstairs to see how they're doing now. i think the film has developed a cult following so based on their website (talk about a throwback! check out that webpage!!!) and myspace, they're touring a fair bit and at decent-sized venues, too!

can everyone else feel the insistent tug of fall? the lull? the desire for cocooning, coziness, legs curled up and under a woolly afghan, sleeping in a pile, long-stewed, simmered, braised meats, root vegetables smelling like the earth? the golden light of hearth (i wish) and home winking out into the darkness? i love this season for mulled apple cider, and warm cookies, and sheepskin slippers, and flannels.

i'm almost dizzy with joy when i ride over the bloor viaduct and i see the don valley stretched out like a giant, undulating carpet of russet, tawny port, claret, and gold. i feel so alive and so present and so immediate in the last flush of sunlight before the dusk comes and casts long shadows over all.

it's getting harder and harder to come home and think of anything but settling down on the couch with a big bowl of warm foodstuffs resting on my belly and a pile of books to bury into. i'm letting more and more things slide until "tomorrow" - if ever.

we had the roomie and l'army over after dinner for some SYTYCD and cookies and talking - it was fun! they hadn't seen lil' ugmo since we had gotten ceilings - so it was a big revelation - they were suitably awed.


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