Saturday, March 21, 2009

so i'm one of THOSE girls now?

the one who bought a performance dress that just barely fits after a night of three bowls of delicious vegetarian thai food and two cupcakes?!? so maybe it wasn't the best idea to try on my dress right before bed, after eating all of the above, and chugging my nightly before-bed 500mL of water. let's just say that i couldn't have gotten zipped up into the thing without help and the upward trajectory of the zipper was precarious at best. i feel like one of those broads on that show "chunky brides" on tlc or whatever...the one where they squeeze women into gowns that are like 5 sizes too small, WHEN THEY VERY WELL HAVE THE RIGHT SIZE FOR THEM, for no other reason than to put these poor women through torture.

i've learned my lesson. i'm on a one cupcake a day diet. starting on monday. lol!

so i'm writing this up in markham after an exciting morning of BREAKING BIG D'S WASHING MACHINE. like, smoke coming out of it breaking it. oops. our washing machine at home is broken and it's not looking like it's going to get fixed any time soon, so i came upon the treacherous idea of bringing my laundry up to the mater and pater's familial estate, major mack, to do. going in, this plan was not without its collateral damages. first and foremost, i knew pretty much that i was going to get yelled at. big d is a yeller. his normal talking voice is kind of yelly. cantonese, the language of my people, sounds the opposite of lyrical and sing-songy (ie. mandarin, french, spanish). it's a yelly language.

then you have to factor in the fact that big d is particular about everything. i probably get my micro-managing, control freak tendencies from him (and actually, my dad is like that too.) big d will micro-manage the way you use the garage door opener. he will stand over your shoulder when you use the microwave. because my mom abdicated all semblance of domesticity before i was born and she grew out of her hippie crafty phase, big d has been responsible for all laundry and grocery shopping pretty much my whole life. my mom has been responsible for buying frivolous stuff. anyway, the laundry machine is one of the prize possessions in big d's domestic fifedom, so i knew i was playing with fire. at the very least, i expected an earful and being told that everything i had ever known about doing laundry was wrong. unfortunately for me, i overloaded it and i think i blew the motor. this ordinarily would have been a recipe for me getting yelled at for a good hour and then periodically throughout the day whenever our paths crossed (big d is also long-winded. another trait i share with him? lol!)

anyway, i got off with a mild tongue-lashing. seriously! he yelled once to get me downstairs to see the thin tendrils of smoke emerging from the washer and then went on for about 30 minutes about how i overloaded the machine. that's NOTHING! the only thing saving me is that today is my mum's 60th birthday and he's in a tizzy about it. anyway, he came in asking me if i could shuck oysters and we've hatched a plan to order oysters from rodney's oyster house to complement our lobster and steak dinner. it's a surprise and he's all excited about that. because he defers to me on all things food, we're co-conspirators, which has put me in his good graces and earned me a temporary reprieve from his verbal barrage. saved!

i also got on his good side because the last time i came up, i accompanied him on his weekend grocery shopping mission, which includes no less than like, 6 different trips to different stores, all in the service of chasing the perfect deal. i think it's an immigrant thing. you get your milk at no frill's, but not the meat. meat you get at longo's, and then you go to price chopper for something else. it's epic. i spent my formative years in grade school and into high school tagging along with my stepdad grocery shopping, all day on saturday, and even into saturday night, completely mortified when i ran into a school mate working the late shift, being outed that at 16, my saturday night consisted of buying toilet paper at iga (mom and big d were super strict, in a vain attempt to keep me from being an illicit substance dabbling girl with loose morals.) anyway, it felt like old times again, rolling up on no frills, scrounging for the good boxes to store our groceries in, bickering over how overpriced a can of soup is downtown compared to markham. fun times.

speaking of fun times, last night was the best! we ordered from jean's and sat and got our hair did and watched the 'battlestar galactica' finale. it was a big, fat MEH. totally anticlimatic. a bunch of stuff they had been leading up to, making the fans anticipate a total, WTF?!?? moment, totally fell short. here's a review i posted on a stupid messageboard:

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"i thought it was LAAAME

why BOTHER with the flashbacks?!???? they revealed NOTHING?!????? so we see roslin as some cougar and that's what makes her decide to go into politics and that's supposed to be RELEVANT in some way? are you serious?

so kara thrace is the human version of that british cockney lawyer's invisible cat? lol!!!!! way to not explain THAT!

the final five meant NOTHING! they didn't do jacks**t! the opera scene meant NOTHING! why stage it in an opera house? you mean roslin and athena had been sharing visions that eventually culminated in being shut out of the main command room? it's laughable! hera meant NOTHING! she was supposed to be the hope for the future! unless they're inferring in the final shot of the national geographic that humans and cylons were able to co-mingle and everyone was halfies...but my bro didn't think that was the case.

boomer's "i owe you one" for letting her stay in the force? and not, say, for shooting him?!??? lol!

i totally called the our earth thing like, first season, so it was nice being vindicated.

cavill offs himself when the going gets tough?!? lol!!! why introduce the idea of the BOXED MODEL daniel, WITH 4 EPISODES LEFT TO GO and then not address it???

i gotta say, weak. sauce. hella weak. sauce.

the battle sequences were hype though it was hard to tell what was going on. too many unanswered questions. way too many. liked the centurion on centurion violence. in the end, i'm glad the ship shaped like a giant wheel survived.

also, i hadn't watched the webisodes so when adama handed off control of the ship to "somebody i can trust" i was like, WHO THE HELL IS THAT GUY?!?"

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none of the above is going to make any sense to you if you hate 'battlestar galactica' (ie. S)

it was fun watching with A and my bro s-dawg though, since we were treated to s-dawg's uniquely off-colour and tasteless (but funny) commentary, and S's occassional hushed commentary on how much she doesn't get the show. i love those guys!

okay, that's enough out of me for one day. the point is: big d is in a big d tizzy over my mum's bday. we're having a family dinner of steak, lobsters, raw oysters, mushrooms fried in butter and cognac ($$$), asparagus, and cupcakes and chinese cake (actually, my mom just informed me she got it from a japanese-french bakery. same diff. not enough sugar.) my sis is coming up shortly with the kids, we're all going to play mah jong, and hopefully see a movie tonight.

tomorrow or monday i'll tell you all tales of my being a freakazoid and getting called on it by random bike mechanics. hahaha.

fin.

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