exhausted, and freaking out over being a fat little weirdo and getting diabetes and having high blood pressure and clogged arteries.
i went INSANE after work today and went all santa's-workshop-blitzkrieg on my holiday baking, enlisting the help of the ever-amiable dotytron (don't ever underestimate the power of coming home from work to be greeted by the dotytron, scatting, in a louis-armstrong voice - it's effin' aces.) i made 5 sets of cookie tins - baked off the pecan shortbread, the espresso shortbread, gingersnaps, and over-baked the chocolate crackles which was upsetting because now my cookie tin is overwhelmingly short-bread/buttery cookie heavy and it's not balanced (as balanced as holiday cookie tins can get); i made dulce de leche bars; i made these things called "sugarplums" which i picked up from my old supervisor T - they're basically dried apricots, dates, almonds, orange zest and spices, chopped fine and bound with some honey and rolled into balls and then dipped in chocolate...i was an idiot and bought white chocolate chips instead of proper white chocolate, which don't melt down properly (they become this super gummy, tacky mass, completely unsuitable for dipping) so i had to junk it and dip them in dark chocolate; i made butter pecan fudge; i rolled and pre-baked 7 mini tart shells; made pastry cream; made a salted caramel; and FINALLY ate dinner.
we had this for dinner. it was delicious. it's my faux-cassoulet...farmers sausage braised with white beans, kale, tomato paste, grape tomatoes, rosemary, thyme, chicken stock, sauteed onions and garlic, and a few duck breasts (thanks, bwong!)
anyway, i ate entirely too many trimmings from the sweets and now my tummy hurts and i can't believe i have to get up and go to work tomorrow.
the light at the end of the tunnel is the fact that i'm going to see my massage therapist. i feel like my back is DESTROYED from being hunched over staring at my computer screen all day. and my butt and legs are sore from dodgeball. and from being a fat little weirdo.
in other news...i said the words "genital love hewitt" tonight and i've basically been laughing myself silly ever since.
in other other news...it's unclear whether my dball team is going to play dball twice a week this coming winter season...so we're trying to think of other sports we can play. right now i'm actively campaigning for the "all sorts of sports" one, which is where you show up and play a different sport every week (volleyball, ultimate, floor hockey, basketball, soccer, dodgeball, rugby-basketball, etc). some of the other teammates are campaigning to play basketball. something (read: "logic") tells me that if dodgeball gets competitive, then basketball will get INSANELY competitive...and if it's self-refereed it's going to be REDONKULOUS. like, you NEED a ref to call fouls! otherwise, you'd have peeps (read: me) calling fouls every .0156 seconds! i'm also crippled by my complete inability to jump. seriously. i got on a trampoline once with the dotytron at his family's friend's farm and i don't think i ever cleared more than 1/2 a foot.
now i'm going to bed. tomorrow i have a lunch date at mcdonald's with K. further adding to the fat little weirdo in me. sigh. i just can't seem to shake the fat little weirdo!