Friday, September 26, 2008

sodium and cholesterol reveries

whoa. crazy dreams at casa dotytron and lagerfeld last night.

i wolfed down my three piece meal from popeye's and was in the process of circling the roomie's lone piece of breast meat (seriously...who likes white meat?) (she only ordered 1 because she doesn't really know if she likes fried chicken and was en route to a birth), getting so far as to begin loosening a corner of gorgeous, batter-coated skin (all the better to derobe the meat and roll the skin up into a batter-ball, to be crammed into my gaping, salivating maw) when she returned from an outing and claimed it. rats. thus foiled i begrudgingly satisfied myself with her biscuit offering. then me and the dotytron finished watching season 4 of "entourage" and i watched the latest episode of "gossip girl" to get all caught up.

anyway, i dreamed that i was at some work retreat in some gothic, crumbling mansion (picture the "beetlejuice" house) with dr. rei, her fiance, some of my coworkers, and LIL' WAYNE. two of the scenes i remember most vividly:

- lil' wayne had a piece of food that i wanted. i asked him for it. he refused. i asked again, more insistently, and in true lil' wayne fashion, he PULLED A GUN FROM HIS WAISTBAND AND POINTED IT AT MY HEAD. i kept my cool though, and told him, calmly and firmly, that i wasn't intimidated by him, and then he put the gun away and gave me what i wanted!

- my coworker, pregnant, standing in front of me NAKED telling me about how MANDY MOORE (who, in the dream, i also worked with, and who was also pregnant) was eating nothing but hot dogs and cheeseburgers and how unhealthy that was. basically my coworker was priding herself on her good eating habits and being all judgy judgy of mandy's.

the dotytron told me about his dream, which basically revolved around him having this girlfriend who was a vampire and would turn into one suddenly and have hulk-style freakouts which could only be circumvented with toothpaste. hilarious, eh?

i had lunch with my dad today. of the three children my father contributed genetic material to, i NEVER would have guessed in a million years that i would end up having the most stable relationship with him. we used to FIGHT. my parents got divorced when i was quite young and my dad had weekly sunday visits with us. when he remarried his terrible, awful, shrew of a wife and she pulled some whacked out s**t, i would frequently get into giant fights with him that would result in a cold war where i would boycott visits with him for half a year at a time. when we eventually reconnected, it was an icy and wary truce at best, with no small amount of imperious disrespect coming from miss teenage hormones over here. the s-dawg was definitely my dad's favorite...they share the most obvious physical genetic material, my brother is the only son to carry on the family name and he quite clearly put my (very human) father on a pedestal.

when the eventual awakening came for my brother (later than is usual, given the intermittence with which we saw him), where you realize that your parents are screwed up regular folk like everyone else, it changed their relationship no small amount. my sister being firmly settled in another country with husband and child, i've kind of taken up the slack. now that my work schedule has assumed a regularity in both timing and location, i've been seeing my dad once or twice a month for lunch. he comes all the way from richmond hill to visit me takes him almost 2 hours in either direction.

when we talk, we generally avoid heavy, too-personal stuff...he occasionally resorts to the cheap shot...needling my brother, my sister, or my mom (still, after all these years) and being the loyal person that i am, we clash when he does. i let him know in no uncertain terms without mincing words what i think of that kind of behaviour. but otherwise, i actually have a lot in common with's like talking to any other reasonably well-read, retiree. we share hobbies in common (fishing and whatnot). lately, he's been unraveling the u.s. economic situation for me, in his slow, laborious, plodding way (it can be a frustrating lesson for that very reason...i'm a speed-learner, but those attributes really help when you're dealing with asset-backed commercial paper) with felt-tipped pen and paper at the ready.

i see a lot of myself in him. my particularity, my anal-ness, my fiscal conservativism, my caution, my risk-adverseness, my lack of tact, my ability to assess things with an (outward) detached lens. so we sit on one of the benches in the park and in neat block letters he teaches me about instruments and mortgages and fannie mae and freddie mac. stuff that my mom and big d aren't as good for (both of them are horrible teachers) we hit the so-called "grand finale" of the sub-prime mortgage crisis. it's fun. i'm glad we're building a relationship now. i kind of regret that it's come late (he's almost 70), but better late than never. moreover, i'm not sure i would have been as ready or open before. i would have been too teenage hormone/half-baked/angry. i've settled into my skin a lot more and it's easier for me to take him as he is and as i am and meet him on those terms.

anyway, we're reconvening in two weeks to talk about hedgefunds and short-selling and futures. whereas before i would have fobbed him off indefinitely...i'm looking forward to it.

tonight is hair cut and rotis and kdubsguelph. huzzah!



K said...

Please refrain from dreaming. Ever. Also, white meat is awesome.

karl lagerfeld, esquire said...

not YOU k! pregnant in real-life k! your virtue remains intact!

K said...

I know you didn't mean me. Equally scarring however.