Wednesday, February 27, 2008

regardez-la

take a look at this picture. it's notable for a few reasons:



a) it's michael pollan's new book, "in defense of food" the central thrust of which is neatly encapsulated in the print on the yellow band encircling the red leaf lettuce: "eat food. not too much. mostly plants."
b) i purchased this book at the talk hosted by the cookbook store, here in toronto, at which pollan was the featured attraction. he read an excerpt from the book and then was subjected to an interview, which was fairly banal and fawning, but not like, inside the actor's studio, "tell me about that time you were awesome"-level fawning. more like, "i'm going to lob easy, open-ended, not terribly specific but highly topical to the subject matter of your book generic questions that you can easily and coherently expound upon in digestible sound-bites" kind of fawning.
c) i saw one of my favorite people-i-love-to-hate, shinan govani "society" writer for "the national post" seated two rows in front of me, which titillated me to no end. seeing that smug mug in the flesh and feeling the adrenaline starting to pound in my bloodstream at the thought of punching him in the face or better yet, demoralizing and destroying his false sense of superiority by telling him in no uncertain terms that TORONTO SOCIETY IS NOTHING TO TALK AND/OR TWITTER ABOUT, let alone that working for "the national post" is nowhere close to working for "the new york times" or "vanity fair" so his affectations sound like the desperate machinations of the (at best) nouveau riche petty middle class clawing to the top of the toronto hoi polloi dung heap and thinking that it means something when all it means is that your very desperation is patently visible for all and sundry to see. i mean, dude is pictured here with TRACEY MELCHOR (i think). and he looks like a bloated, self-important, buffoon straight out of a moliere-esque cutting vivisection of parlour society and the grasping social climbers it attracts.

d) i went with a group of girls to this talk, only one of whom i know, and she's a very new acquaintance at that. one of the other members of our party, is a producer at much music's "the new music" show, and was more than happy to oblige when i asked her to give me the dirt on the much music staff. my first and (obviously) most pressing question was: "why is devon so orange? does he LIKE being that orange?"
[exhibit A]
the answer is that, while most of the much music vjs prefer NOT to avail themselves of the makeup services offered and like to do their own, devon consistently gets his makeup done by the much music makeup artists, who are either a) working in very poor lighting b) are blind, or c) wear those terrible glasses/sunglasses combos that darken on their own depending on the amount of light available (my grade 6 teacher had those and from my experience as an observer of this technology when it was in its' infancy, those glasses are NEVER clear. there's ALWAYS a slight tinge of corrective shading...even in NATURAL DAYLIGHT WHEN THE SUN IS AT ITS ZENITH). apparently, devon uses the vision/lighting impaired much music makeup people, but then consistently complains about their handiwork.
e) i went to this talk coincidentally, when a free ticket became available (the talk has sold out twice!), AFTER getting into a heated debate around related issues on a messageboard yesterday with my nemesis. michael pollan could be credited for putting these issues onto the popular radar (and to a certain extent, be held culpable for stupid, non-critical-thinking people [read: benevolent liberals] reading his books and taking up the very, myopic, privileged position that my nemesis was espousing.

so yes, the first picture is notable for all those things. but! it is most notable for option

f) i got him to sign it thus:



this is how it went down -
*generic pleasantries are exchanged*
mp: "who would you like me to make it out to?"
kl: "karl. lagerfeld. please"
mp: *slightly nonplussed* "umm...okay. does he spell it with a k or a c?"
kl: "k"
mp: "do you work for karl lagerfeld?"
kl: "no, he is my online alter-ego. i have to protect my internet persona, you know"
mp: *laughs (a little uneasily)* *shakes head* "uh, sure...okay! there you go"

fin.

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