Sunday, December 09, 2007

my voice is still gone

but on the plus side, last night's dinner was delicioso! it's so so so nice to be cooked for! and the bff's lady didn't skimp on the lasagne cheese either. i love the chewy, browned, crusty cheese edges. actually, i love edges in general. cake edges, lasagne edges, moussaka edges, scalloped potato edges. she also made a lovely caesar salad with REAL bacon bits. unfortunately i was too busy gobbling it down to get a picture, but here's an ultra-blurry and unfocused shot of my tiramisu helping. it was a nice evening all around...i really like the bff's lady. i've known the bff for 12 or 13 years now, 7 of which we were dating, and it warms the cockles of my heart that he's found such a great lady.

i really like the people in my life right now. which is a very good spot to be in, methinks. i also did some work on my paper (2 hours only!!!) but i'm feeling pretty good about it. i expect the status will experience some tumultuous fluctuations over the next few days until it's done and handed in. i also have to go to school and grab a book i need for it. i hope it's still there tomorrow! i'm reading a lot of pierre bourdieu. he's a french sociologist who studied the cultural tastes of the bourgeoisie and talks about class distinctions and how they're manifested in people's cultural affiliations and identity building. basically, my thesis with regards to top chef is that while they seemingly appeal to a very middle brow audience with their quick-fire challenges (ie. make a frozen dinner entree! make something a busy mom can microwave! use glad ware to store your ingredients in!), ultimately, the narrative arc of the competition always privileges and reifies "upper-class" (ie. "luxury" ingredients, french techniques) values and identity. to be a "top chef" in other words, you have to have a certain base of knowledge that's rooted in a particular non-populist aesthetic tradition. i'm also going to insert my own experiences working in high-end kitchens into the paper. i'm going to try to write a very personable, chatty paper (kind of like a blog entry), because one of the things i'm consciously trying to do with my academic work is re-structure the way that academic papers are written. i want the reading of the paper to be fun.

i finished my little nephew's hat. i'm a little concerned because the circumference seems rather large for a 1-2 year old...but i guess the thing with kid's is, at some point they'll grow into it. even if he is a 16-year-old. today is that potluck party during the day. i'm kind of excited to see what other people are bringing. i'm also excited to eat my own deviled eggs. so i made deviled eggs, cranberry hazelnut chocolate bars, butter pecan fudge, and smoked salmon with herbed cream cheese on crostinis. after all this mixing and cocktail eating, i have to go play dodgeball, after which we're going to go for wings with my brother's team. for whom i made a peanut butter pie (i'm the best sister EVER).

i'm also kind of looking forward to talking to the dotytron's uncle. his mom's sister is married to this dude and we tend to have holiday dinners with them (thanksgiving, christmas, etc). he's a musician who also is a buddhist. last time we got into a penetrating discussion on the nature of enlightenment, whereupon i came to the realization that i've attained enlightenment. this revelation didn't go over that well and was met by no small amount of skepticism. here's my point: if enlightenment isn't a thing and it's just a matter of being present, i think i've got that down. i also reject the notion that enlightenment is something that has to be attained through quiet introspection...that you have to get rid of the "noise" of everyday life. because if you believe that, then you've constructed a very specific idea of what constitutes enlightenment and its attributes, which i think is anathema to the very concept itself. so the point is: i've attained enlightenment, and honestly, it's not all that big a deal. it just IS.

so tonight we're having wings at duff's for dinner, and then i'm going to come home and do more research and hopefully start writing this beast tomorrow.


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