Tuesday, October 09, 2007

styx, a giant bird, a giant hunk of cow, family, and me

thanksgiving is about traditions, passed down over time and cemented through the annual coming together of family and friends. the way my family does thanksgiving is to make up strange and wondrous traditions by the seat of our pants, every year. this weekend we packed A LOT in. as predicted, we did indeed go to all you can eat japanese BEFORE the turkey dinner on saturday, which resulted in a wicked bout of heartburn for yours truly. the 16lb turkey cooked in (no joke) 2.5 hours. this was AMAZING. this meant that i had time to rest the turkey out so that the bird was extra moist, as the juices redistributed into the bird. i attribute the quick cooking time to two things. a) my mum has a convection oven. b) i also bring the bird or whatever protein i'm cooking to room temperature before i stick it in the oven. this means the bird wasn't sitting in the oven for extra time, getting dry (dryness is the MAJOR issue with turkey meat). so, after feasting on this delicious, moist, and juicy bird to my left, we waddled downstairs to my grandma's side of the house, to her family room, to partake in some post-thanksgiving dinner rogers-on-demand karaoke. did we have mics? oh no. instead, we aided and abetted our digestive enzymes at work by screaming the lyrics to styx's "come sail away" as loud as we could at the tv (doesn't every family do that?) before the tryptophan kicked in and we trundled off to bed. we also took advantage of the rogers-on-demand on my grandpa's tv to watch "mr. man boobs" and "cougar hunt" (we actually couldn't sit through the whole thing), thereby leaving some puzzling viewing history evidence for poor gramps to mull over.

(WARNING: the video is long, and probably not very interesting to people who don't know me or know my family. i find it hilarious.)

day 2 started with the family collectively deciding to exhibit some restraint by ordering IN cantonese dimsum, instead of going out to eat shanghai dimsum, which always results in the itis. we played some touch football in the afternoon, which was very upper-middle-class, wasp-y americana of us. as an aside, i'm an ACE football tactician. my plays involve whispered, frantic pleas, like, "but i can't CATCH ", or "okay, how about you pass me the ball, and i RUN" *taps forehead* like a steel trap, people, like a steel trap.

i did the prime rib dinner that night. we ate with my grandparents, it was a good time. the dotytron and the outlaw bro were going to see van halen. so me and my sister drop them off downtown and then head back up to markham, to await pickup. pickup was a DISASTER. the dotytron was WASTED. this is hilarious. he's a very constructive drunk, and the car-ride home involved lots of wondering where my other brother, killah cam, was, and stuff like, "where's cam? i want him to be here. where's cam? don't lie to me guys, i can feel him". the one black mark was when the dotytron opened the car door as we were zooming up the dvp. his explanation involved something about dustin hoffman, and how he "didn't want it to end up like that" and how he was trying to ensure "the seal was tight" (he had watched "outbreak" earlier in the day). then my bro (whose car it was, and who was driving) got REALLY mad. and then the dotytron went on a long rambling apologetic rant, which ended with the line, "not the least of which is, sterling, i love you". !!!!! when we had dropped them off, we had been playing the outlaw bro's van halen cd in the car. when we went to pick them up, my brother was playing the soundtrack to "les miserables". the dotytron gets into the car, wanting to hear "unchained" (by halen), presses play, and as the swelling sounds of "master of the house" fill the yaris, was non-too-pleased to say the least. i believe the words were, "what the f**k is this?!?"

the obvious thing to do at that point, was to go midnight bowling. which we did. disco bowling in fact. i LOVE bowling. i love sports, games, whathaveyou, where you each time you play it's a chance to get it perfect. my brother made the player's names up. at the time, he was still mad at the dotytron. i'll let you, dear readers, figure out who the dotytron was.

day three started with my little imp of a niece, pictured above, decking out wonder-woman in some stylistically questionable attire, not befitting her noble station in life. then we went to shanghai dimsum, then we came home, watched a lot of buffy season 7 (best show ever. ever. EVER.) then went to the dotytron's family's house for their thanksgiving, whereupon we gave his da' a dobro for his birthday. the dotytron's family is considerably more sedate than mine. it was nice to have a chilled out cap to the weekend.

the end result of all this family time, was that i have to write a paper tonight (boo!) when all i want to do is finish watching buffy season 7 (yay!) and then possibly start buffy all over again. tonight for dinner we're having cauliflower soup with a grilled cheese sammich.


1 comment:

dr.rei said...

LOL most hilarious post ever....styx rendition is awesome, drunk ian is soooo accurately described. too good.