Saturday, October 20, 2007

almost at the end...

we're 15 minutes into the last episode EVER of buffy the vampire slayer and it's killing me. the show is so, so, so funny! and sweet, and dark, and scary and inspiring all at once. i've never in my life seen a better treatment of what it means to be a girl in contemporary society. i've never in my life seen a more feminist show than buffy, that tackles issues without being overly mannered, like northern exposure (ie. with blatant references to kierkegaard). it bridges the gap between fluffy entertainment and heavy, weighty, topics like no other. i love you joss whedon!!! best. show. ever. hands down.

anyway, we got interrupted midway by the roomie coming home. she hasn't seen it so we didn't want to ruin it for her. then her and i got into a big debate about being a mom. she tends to view it as like, THE most difficult experience and so isolating, etc., whereas i tend to think that most people in canadian, middle-class society CHOOSE being a mom, and seriously, it's NOT THAT hard. she thinks it's inherently isolating because our society doesn't welcome children (this kind of stems back to an argument we had about kids being allowed in fine-dining establishments...which i'm resolutely AGAINST), whereas i think that if you take on being a parent, there's going to be some places that you can't go with your kid, which is FINE, as long as you don't decide you want to be tied to your kid 24/7. if you are, then tough titty, you can't go see the 9pm saturday night show with your toddler and you can't eat at canoe. there's LOTS of other things you can do with you kid, tonnes of community centres, parks, free stuff going on. then she got into this thing about how people get irritated by the sound of babies crying, so people feel like they can't bring their kid places. i was like, dude, we're GENETICALLY DESIGNED to get irritated by the sound of babies crying. if we were like, totally okay with it, there would no impetus to assuage that crying.

anyway, my point was that for middle-class women, the construction of how hard it is to be a parent, and how isolating, and depressing is a by-product of their class privilege, and they participate in their own victimization. because there is stuff they can do to ameliorate their isolation, if that's how they feel. part of it is society and part of it comes from the women themselves, not like it's all society MAKING women feel isolated. i also think that for a lot of people in reduced economic subject positions, they don't have the time or resources to engage in navel-gazing about how hard it is to be a mom, they just DO IT, the same way people in the developing world just do it, when they have like 4 different kids and have to work, etc. in other words, that our modern construction of what it means to be a "child" is complicit in this narrow definition of what it means to be a mom.

my most controversial point is probably that if you're breastfeeding in public, it wouldn't hurt to put a blanket over your titty. my issue is an issue of fairness. if boobs secreting stuff is okay in public, then you can't really give people guff for picking their noses in public or cutting their toenails on the ttc. this is a more tenuous position, i know.

anyway, due to a large snafu on my part, i missed the chance to go on the tour of the cbc library yesterday. i thought i had a place and had done everything, but apparently i hadn't. oops. it's hard keeping track of all my ish!!!

today is a homework/errand-running day. then we're having the dotytron's friend steve over as he's going over to thailand shortly, for six months of hot ladyboy sex (and playing jazz in some hotel or sumpin'). i think we're going to go for drinks someplace, but i REALLY REALLY want to go dancing, and there's an intriguing thing happening at the drake...it's called "edumacation" with dj fase, numeric and the return of more or less (my favorite of the never forgive action djs) *hopefully* playing bomb old skool hip hop.

i'm making mac'n'cheese with asiago, mozzarella, aged cheddar and fontina...extra creamy! and a spinach salad with avocado, grape tomatoes, red onion, and a lemon vinaigrette. and a chocolate caramel pie for dessert.

fin.

3 comments:

Chris said...

"ameliorate"

excellent word.

sg said...

can i come over for the exact same dinner one day? i promise not to bring a crying child. i will bring anything you ask. i love cheese oh and pasta and spinach. wow.

Boo&Ze's Mama said...

Sing it sister! Why would anyone want to waste money or subject their child to a meal experience they will hate and will hate being a part of! And, I agree -- you can breast feed and be discrete. Finally, I LOVE being a mom. If people find it THAT hard then they shouldn't have kids! Women have done it for ages! Why cry victimhood now?