Tuesday, May 15, 2007

awkward *tugs on collar*

last night we went to the dakota tavern to see our friend's band "elvis bossa nova" play. it was pretty hype. they had two drummers who kinda shared a kit, an upright bass, a guitarist (who according to the boy plays EXACTLY like kevin breit - whoever the eff that is -) and a vibraphone player. the dakota tavern has a vibe that's pretty nice and cozy and really suitable for a few beers, very local-watering-hole. it's like a saloon slash tiki room. the music helped too...very vegas, very quentin tarantino-directed soundtrack, very polynesian tiki room, with lots of surf guitar and playful re-working of the elvis oeuvre.

it kinda turned into a weird high school reunion though. we just narrowly missed seeing the boy's ex gf from high school, as she had been hanging with our friend. i was totally bummed about it. whenever we see her, it gives me so much fodder! and i want the roomie to meet her so we can psychoanalyze her. in all honesty, i can't really stand her. she's a total flake-bot who like, over-emotes and over-empathizes. it's like she's one of those people who can't stand being disliked, so when she talks to you, however little she knows you, she goes into these orgiastic excesses of pantomimed sympathy and empathy...over everything, so it comes off being fake, even if she genuinely feels it. it's a very strange manifestation of social anxiety, and it results in some awkward encounters, because i, personally, just don't know how to react when someone starts gesticulating wildly, touching their heart with their hands, their face pulled into over-blown frowns, pursed lips, clown-like smiles. it's like trying to have a conversation about cat food with celine dion when she's in full performance-mode at caesar's palace.

then this other chick from high school showed up, another friend of our friend's and it was totally awkward like crazy. she said hi to our friend, then hi to the boy, then turned to me and was all tentatively squinting, going, "uhhh...is it...mercedes?" (i of course already knew all about her since i had done my homework on facebook through the boy's account...always be prepared, that's my motto!). so i introduce myself. then she says, "i didn't recognize you!" so i go, "yeah, i'm MUCH hotter now" and everyone laughs because, well, i'm a funny mofo (my experience: you can always rescue a potentially awkward social situation by being funny, and specifically through the use of the vehicle of "taking the piss").

THEN she drops this little number, "didn't you used to have braces *gestures around her mouth*???" me: "yeah" me (internal monlogue): "YEAH i had braces, it was HIGH SCHOOL. A LOT OF US HAD BRACES" her: "and didn't you *tentatively, possibly faux-tentative but i'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt* have a thing with a___ b___?" me: "yeah, but i don't like to talk about it cuz i'm totally embarrassed about it". okay, what am i supposed to say?!? like, it's been 10 years! let's live in the now, shall we? when we did the post-game rehash, the roomie was all like, "well, when people haven't seen you in a long time, their image of you is the last one they saw, so it's natural that she would try to make conversation about stuff like that". NUH-UH! i don't buy it! i could've been like, "gee ___, shouldn't you be on acid right now? and where's your hackey sack? and your jerry bear t-shirt? and those floppy woven hats that stunk like nag champa?" but you know what?!? i DIDN'T DO THAT. because i, karl lagerfeld, esquire, ACTUALLY have some social graces and social skills. sheesh! then she was asking what we were up to this coming weekend, and i said we might be going dancing, and she looks at the boy, and goes: "dancing? ___, you're into that?" and i'm like, holy crap lady. does he still look like he's got an undercut and a lank little pony tail, wearing a trenchcoat and rocking out the gee-tar? no. live in the now!

these high school meetups are so love-hate for me. i love them because, well, i AM so much hotter now and most of the other people aren't. i'm also a lot funnier and better socially, so i've got something to show for my 10 years. so they're awesome for the ego-stroking factor (like facebook). however! the catch-up tends to be so awkward! when we went out last friday, it was totally fine and dandy, because the crew we met up with were a) really tight with the boy, and b) the ones that weren't so tight were socially pretty cool and capable...but stuff like last night happens all too often, so it's a total crapshoot.

i'm meeting my da' for lunch today at work. tonight for dinner we're having asparagus, shallot and asiago pasta with a big salad.


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