yesterday i went to the second funeral in my life. the first one i've ever attended was for my dad's father, who i didn't know all that well. that one took place in a funeral home. this one took place in a roman catholic church. i was kinda weirded out about it. instead of a celebration of my friend's life, it turned into a big pitch for j.c., and how j.c. is awesome, and we should be happy that my friend is being welcomed back into j.c.'s loving bosom, and faith and blah blah blah. there was also a ginormous j.c. hanging on the wall of the church, right above the priest (it must've been 20-30 feet tall), all emaciated and shiz. that totally grosses and spooks me out. there was a lot of kneeling, and praying, and eating and drinking j.c. (i didn't participate in that). the one part i like is when the priest tells you to turn to your neighbours and offer them a sign of your peace and love. however, it totally caught me by surprise, so i ended up kind of awkwardly shaking the hands of people around me. i wish they handed out program books with notes in it, so that you know what to do. some people were pros.
after that, we went to the cemtery, and then we had a reception. the reception was wonderful, as close friends performed readings, and there was a slide show, and people talked and mingled and laughed. it was touching and sweet and personal.
we ran into a tonne of people we hadn't seen in a while. the boy's high school crew is an awesome group of people, and i fit in really well with them. there's always laughter and jokes when they're around, we see them a few times a year, so that was fine. we also ran into the boy's ex gf. and some old high school teachers.
it's so strange to me, the disconnect between our ceremonies to usher people into death, the pageantry and deep symbolism, and then the creeping realities - the man driving the backhoe who pushes dirt onto the coffin in the ground. there's something reaffirming about the inevitability of the mundane, however incongruous it may seem at the time.
i've decided that i want my funeral to be FUN. lots of laughter and talking and revisionist history of my life (family and close friends, take note!). at first i wanted a choir and the organist to do a rendition of omni trio's "thru the vibe", but i amended it to kansas' "carry on my wayward son" and i wouldn't mind having a CCR cover band provide the other musical entertainment. i would like the meal to consist of a southern bbq, or at least to feature a roast pig (my spirit animal) with some dietary concessions made to the vegetarians in my life.
for dinner tonight we're having vegan shepherd's pie with tvp again. for the filling, i put in sauteed onion, garlic, tvp, carrots, celery, peas, and celery root diced up. for the topping, i'm making that root vegetable mash and coating it in old cheddar before it goes in for the final burnishing in the oven.