Tuesday, October 24, 2006


another day, another round of butting my head up against this confounded program! i'm feeling comforted in knowing that my friend from school had a similar revelation today, to the one i had a few weeks back, when i realized that i was too much of a post-structuralist for library and information sciences as it is currently articulated at the U of T. she had a simliar realization today.

anyway, today in class, i was criticizing why even "new" research on user-oriented information systems still insist on imposing a series of structures and models, on what are highly cultural contingent processes and relationships. the prof responded along the lines of: "cut us some slack! we have a history of a specific service and relationship to information that we are beholden to, and foucauldean analysis has only entered into the dialogue in the last ten years" YES. YOU HEARD HER. LAST TEN YEARS. foucault has been DEAD for longer than that !!!!!! it's EMBARASSING that a graduate program related to the humanities is making this admission. the thing i don't get is, yes yes, the library is a social science, the MISt is a professional program...but COME ON. there's people PUBLISHING and RESEARCHING and RECEIVING GRANTS for this stuff. and FOR WHAT?!? THE LIBRARY IS A CULTURAL INSTITUTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's the SITE for the procurement and dialogic engagement of culture!!!!!!! ai-ya.

i feel like the only way to bring this discussion to the table and feel satisfied with information studies, or to make it go where i want to go, and to explore what i want to explore and find valuable about the field, is to do my phd. but! the irony is...THERE'S NO WAY I'LL GET INTO A PHD PROGRAM WITH THE MARKS THEY'VE BEEN GIVING ME FOR THINKING/WRITING ABOUT THIS STUFF IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!!!! dear academia: why do you persist in being the thorn in my side? why can't you just submit to me, like just another luscious bowl of custard. whyfor?

phew...i'm able to safely put to rest this rant. only, i'm sure, to be revisited the next time i come up against the program and u of t acting like a bunch of dorkus malorkuseseses. tonight was my first round on the phone banks. QUELLE SURPRISE! i'm actually very good at it! i'm a natural! i think it was a valuable lesson for me in civic-based praxis. i found i rather enjoyed it. and it's making me want to run for city councillor.

i was put on the list with all the local 416 members on it, and it also helped me to be calling my fellow "brothers and sisters" in the union. i think the whole idea of talking to strangers fits into my schema way better than bugging people i know. the fact that i'm backing a good candidate helps too. all the positivity aside, people can be SO SELFISH! if i hear anymore boohooing about how the st. clair dedicated streetcar line represents the coming of the apocalypse, and how people are basing their voting decisions based PURELY on that ONE issue (which has already been decided, you potsers!) i'm going to scream. the good thing is though, i get to engage in spirited debates with randoms on the phone about toronto issues. it's so much fun! i love it!!!! plus the phone is the best insulator of my latent insolence when presented with narrow-minded people. it's the best of all possible worlds!

finally, the giant keloid scar that has taken up residence on my right foot is not dealing well with its first winter experience. when your scar resembles the many layers of an onion, it's not a good sign. i've also been neglecting it on the vitamin e oil front as of late.



coach said...

just because they are retarded (for the record i mean that in the non-slang sense of the word)in their thinking does not mean that you cannot succeed. pick your battles, figure out where you have wiggle room, figure out what is interesting to you within their confines. if you do not learn their language and thought process you will not be able to deconstruct it later. this does not mean you have to buy into it, just that you have to use it to get to your desired outcomes. isnt there a quote about using the masters tools to bring down his house (could you research that for me? haha).
dont let them get you down, you can do it-we are counting on you. maybe we should join /make a club.

mercedes g. lee, esquire said...

thanks, coach. i think i was just ranting in the heat of the moment, i'm actually a lot calmer about it than my wanton capitalization would indicate.

i'm fairly okay with things, and it's very reassuring to know that other people (ie. you) feel the same way.

this is only one part of my life...i think it would be one thing if i had all my eggs in this particular basket, but i've got alls kinds of business going on...so i'm okay.

the master's tools quote is audre lorde, i believe...and it's the opposite! it's something to the effect that you CAN'T dismantle the master's house with the master's tools. so unless she was paraphrasing an existing quote to the contrary...it doesn't provide the inspiration we're looking for!

coach said...

oh well-i do know its easier to blow it up if you have the blueprint (if big brother is reading this-i am speaking METAPHORICALLY). not a snazzy quote but true.
mmmm eggs for baking